Why is it that I keep getting treated like s*%t by men when I am nothing but kind, caring and considerate? is it better to be an ar*ehole in this life?
2007-03-20 08:41:06 · 17 answers · asked by masonv80 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
While I wouldn't condone being an @rsehole I would say it's important to learn how to hold your own and please yourself.
There's a book I seriously recommend you to read called Why Men Love B1tches. It was written for women like you who are fed up of being a 'nice girl' and getting walked all over and who want to have men eating out of their palms and treating them with respect.
It's not about being horrible or nasty but it's about learning to stand up for yourself and be that little bit more selfish so you can be treated the way you deserve.
I used to wonder exactly the same thing as you but this book has changed everything! I bought it for loads of my girlfriends and they all love it too. It'll make you laugh when you acknowledge stuff you've put up with in the past as well as making sure you won't put up with it in future!
You can look inside the first few pages here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1580627560?ie=UTF8&tag=topofthehoffs-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1580627560
Good luck!!
2007-03-20 08:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you, i myself have worked this out ( although only after id had my child to the loser) us women should do as blokes do to us i was always brought up to have respect for people men well they are different they must have treat women like s*it implanted in them from the day they was born!!! i have bin split wi ma babys sperm doner since he was v small he now nearly four year old an through choice i have stayed single because i had enuf of bein walked on.. also i have made a choice that when i do get involved with anyone i am gunna make them do the chase they can ring me an i wont answer until i am ready then i will call them if an wen i feel like it. do to them what they do to us that is my new mission in my life sad maybe but they will know that i am not guna be a walk over and yes us women should be come ar**holes good luck for the future x
2007-03-20 09:01:38 · answer #2 · answered by loubylou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't reckon it's better to be an arsehole.
I think the term 'nice guy' is often misunderstood, as if it's some kind of insulting and degrading reference to any man out there who isn't an arrogant abusive prick.
Nothing wrong with being a regular nice bloke (contrary to popular female belief, there are lots of us about), but you don't have to be a gutless wimp with no backbone or opinions to be a decent man.
2007-03-20 09:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by Gilligan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the way you feel. I am 35 and have been treated like **** by men all my life. It's like the nicer I am the worse they treat me. I have pretty much given up now and just use guys for what I can get. And you know what? It's like they expect it, so at the end of the day everybody wins.
2007-03-20 08:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i disagree that nice guys finish last. most people want a nice guy, at least in the end. but there is such a thing as being TOO nice. people want someone who they can relate to with their whole person. and most people (or least me) have a good, sweet side and also a bad-girl streak. these people don't want someone who can't cut loose, is always going to remind them of what they SHOULD be doing, or who is just too perfect to be able to relate to. it is not better to be an ****, i have tried both being an **** and being friendly, and friendly is definitely much more fun. but don't be a doormat either. nice guys don't finish last, doormats do.
2007-03-20 08:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by kittycat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.. being kind is better. Being an *** might seem like the easy road but that won't really make you happy. just make sure you're not overly kind (remember, there's being kind and there's being stupid)
I know it's hard to be kind, especially when you feel like they're taking your kindness for granted (Happens to me a lot) but believe me, you'll find someone ^_^
Keep that kindness!
2007-03-20 08:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by BlessedGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know what I feel the same way...I am in the same boat. I call just to say hi....they call when they want something. I never get the guy b/c I'm too nice & too considerate. I tried being an azzhole but its just not in my character.
So don't give up & don't ever stop being u ;-)
2007-03-20 08:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. There are plenty of people out there who appreciate nice guys and are more than happy to have a long term relationship with one. I'm afraid it's just a bit harder to find someone who isn't shallow.
2007-03-20 08:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no just keep being the way you are,and you will find someone that treats you right, i always thought the same thing about me,but i just couldn't become the (@sshole type ),your a good person,and that makes you special!
2007-03-20 08:48:06 · answer #9 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We teach people how to treat us, any psychologist will tell you that. So the real question is "what signals am I sending out"? Figure those out and you may get your answer.
2007-03-20 08:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by Caramella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋