The condensed version is we starting going out and things were going great. A few months into it, something scared her and she started growing increasingly distant until she told me she needed to be on her own. We maintained contact and after a few months "on her own" we are a thing again ad things really are better than ever now. But, in the back of my mind, I can't shake the idea that I want to know what had her so spooked before. Was it something I did? B/c, if it was, I don't want to ever do it again. I don't think I have changed anything about myself or my approach to her and us, which is why I'm confused and curious. So, should I try and ask to set my mind at ease or let it go and enjoy things and try to forget about the past (b/c it's not easy)?
2007-03-20 08:33:24 · 12 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You had a swinging relation with your girl. Once she distanced from you. You did not know why.
She might have felt that you are going too fast. She needed time to compose and decide. The qualities of individual vary. Some will take decisions offhand and some need time. When in dilemma, they opt to distant away from the issue so that a non- contact will give them courage to decide. Test for magnetism is not 'attraction' but ' repulsion'. So take it as a natural reaction of a person in two minds.
Now that she has come back and you are in full swing, you do not have to worry about the past. But be sure that you do not overdo anything which will jeopardize her feminine pride of feeling of security. You can be intimate but try to be transparent too. Your openness should be substantiated by your honesty and commitment. then I think you will continue a good relation with her. Good luck.
2007-03-20 08:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by atom45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it be. If you remind her of the past she might get spooked all over again. Although difficult sometimes the best thing to do is worry about the future and let the past be.
2007-03-20 15:39:11 · answer #2 · answered by Geetu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably deserve an answer about what happened, so what I would do is wait until one night when you guys aren't doing anything special, justing sitting around watching tv and say to her "You know I have often wondered about what happened to us before? Are you able to talk about it now?" and see what she says. You can be forthright with her and let her know that you want to know if it was directly related to something you did or didn't do, etc. But you definitely do deserve an answer. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-20 15:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a strong relationship you should be able to talk about anything. You can't live your life in fear that your feelings will ruin what you have. If talking about something that is an issue to you kills the relationship, then it wasn't meant to be, and it's better now that you have moved on.
2007-03-20 15:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by Individual Thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just enjoy what you have. I know it isnt easy to put out of your mind why she distanced herself from you, but you don't want to rekindle old fears and memories for her either. Be grateful for what you have with her now.
2007-03-20 15:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to forget because you were probably her first and she didn't know how to react and think about if she really wanted to be with you.
2007-03-20 15:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by lexiss91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not even women dig treirselves, once u put something in your mind, it will be like this, you will believe it
Relax, let her do what she want to, let her go or stay if she wanr to, dont blame yourself, i know its not easy
Try to concetrate youself in otrhes things
2007-03-20 15:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Underwater 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reminds me of the song "Spooky". I think you would like to know what it was, but tread lightly. She may not be ready or want to talk about it.
2007-03-20 15:40:25 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communication is the key to a succesful relationship. Communication and trust
2007-03-20 15:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her you might not like the answer though.
2007-03-20 15:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by hendersonswoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋