When i was in my past relationship with my ex girlfriend, i realized that i have a huge jealousy problem, and that more or less led to our brakeup. whats my problem? i couldnt stand seeing her talking to any other guy, and if her ex came up, i would cringe. i hated the thought of her doing something with any other guy in the past. please help me! get me out of this!!
2007-03-20 08:22:39 · 19 answers · asked by bobman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can help you with this. I had a good friend who went through the same thing. I am going to assume that your girlfriend is not really doing anything wrong, just friendly chat no lingering conversations with other guys, basically that she is not just messing with you just because she knows you are jealous. If that is true, then let me say you must be a great boyfriend to realize the problem and want to try to fix it. Most guys would just try to make out like the girl was a slut or something. The problem is in your way of thinking. First, you MUST realize that she is with you BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE. You must accept the fact that if she wanted some other guy, there is really not a damn thing you can do about it, is there??? You know that jealousy only serves to drive someone farther away. Women are naturally attracted to confident men....so why would you want to display the one characteristic that will send her running the other way? You must assume that unless you have reason to be jealous of her, it is unfair and destructive to any relationship.
#1 Get it in your head "she is with ME because she wants to be.....she likes the guy I am".
#2 She is human....she is going to talk to other guys
#3 Don't spend every second of your time with her....this is called obsession. Find other interests, something you go and do by yourself or with another friend. I swear, this will actually make you more attractive to her. This time apart is your opportunity to practice your trust for her. It also makes you more appealing to her. Nobody wants a man up their butt all day long. When you start showing interest toward something else, you become more interesting to her.
#4 Know that you are pretty damn special, too! But just because you talk to girl, it doesn't mean you'd cheat with her does it?? Then don't assume your girlfriend will.
You gotta get this thing under control by constantly talking yourself out of feeling this way or it will effect every relationship you ever had and ultimately destroy it. Did it ever occur to you that when you don't trust someone, it is the same as accusing them of doing something? Don't you think that is an insult to her to be treated like she can't be trusted? You wouldn't like it, I promise you that. So treat her like she is to be trusted unless you have reason to think otherwise. Best of luck to you, dear.
2007-03-20 08:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are loving yourself more than her. If you love her you should like anything that would make her happy, trust her, be open with her... Tell her about your problem and see how does she react. Ofcourse you cant prevent her from talking to guys, sitting next to guys, or maybe enjoying her time with some old school friends. Thats normal. When ever these thoughts cross your mind try to think of something else, try to get busy with more important stuff... Think always that you also have some girls in your life that mean nothing to you, but u gotta socialise with them. Its the same for her, i suppose... good luck
2007-03-20 15:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
a simple anwser written on a compute by someone you don't know is not going to fix this problem. Sorry, but this is something that you personally have to overcome. Wether you like or not people need freedom. Just imagine if she was all over you all the time about everyone person you talk to. Try to keep that in the back of your mind. How would you feel if it was the other way around?
2007-03-20 15:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well admitting you have a problem is the first step. I think now you should just try your hardest to realize that eventually other men will talk to her but you get to be her boyfriend and they don't.
If she loves you she will never cheat on you andis she does cheat, then that is her mistake. Should that happen, just move on and find someone else, because she was obviouslynot the one for you anyway.
Just try to relaxand have faith that nothing will happen with these other guys and her.
2007-03-20 15:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Cuppycake♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be like that too, but what you need to learn to do is live for the NOW. It doesn't matter what she's done in the past with her ex boyfriend... she is with you because she cares for you. You need to be more secure in yourself & in her feelings for you because jealousy like this can ruin a relationship.... as you already have experienced.
There's no better way to drive a person away from you than to be jealous & overbearing. Ease off & try to have some faith in yourself & in her love for you.
2007-03-20 15:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
So you say that you have a jealousy problem right?Well that can be helped with 3 steps!Simple yes?Well Step 1 is to think of how much you REALLY love her!So if you really love her and she really loves you then there isn't really that way of cheating if you both love each other!Step 2...TRUST her!If you really have a BIG problem with trust read in the bible!!Heres a good verse about jealousy...Galatians 5:19-26!
Step 3...PRAY!Pray to God to help you through this so you don't ruin another relationship!If this doesn't help then I'm really sorry!Let me know if it does...monkey_girl_1112@yahoo.com!
2007-03-20 15:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing that will just "get you out of it". Good thing is that you admit you have that problem, and you are just going to have to keep it in check.
Being a little jealous, can be flattering, but then there is Othelo... don't forget that.
Women also put "jealous" and "controling" together, so you are going to really have to work on it if you want to have a serious relationship. Next time you feel jealous, just excuse yourself to the restroom till you calm down, maybe.
2007-03-20 15:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's totally natural to feel like someone else is comingi n on your "territory" when another dude talks to your woman, I feel the same way with my boyfriend... But who is she going home to at the end of the night. Long story short... Unfortunitely, we cannot control everythingi n our lives, if she's going to cheat on you, she will. But you will also find out. You have to trust that she's obviously with you for a reason, and while it's nice to have your man get protective of you, you need to at the very least pretend it doesn't bother you. Good luck.
2007-03-20 15:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by Heather L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The reason why you are jealous because you are insecure about your own self. You think that she would leave you for somebody else that look better than you or somebody that meet her standards. So take my advice don't be jealous when she talk to another guy because she is with you not him.
2007-03-20 15:36:02 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone here is going to tell you you're insecure and need self-confidence. B.S. You are jealous and that's the kind of guy I love. I find it flattering. You don't need to tell her you were jealous with the other one, that spoils it. You will always be a jealous guy but it will get less when you are much older. So forget these pattywackers that tell you to be someone else and just go ahead with your life and loves. You need a girlfriend you can trust and one that appreciates your possessiveness.
2007-03-20 15:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋