My ex bf and i have been together for 4 yrs. Last month I decided to call off the relationship and move back to the state I orignally am from. I feel as if we both hold each other back from what we want to do. I still love him to death, but I don't want to continue this relationship. Since letting him know, our relationship is actually better. We have more sex now than b4 (kinda strange). I know that our paths will entwine in the future as friends or as lovers, but is it wrong to sleep with him even though we are actually not together? When the time comes, I just don't want to make it harder for the both of us. I still care for him passionately, but I can't be with him. I just love having sex! What should one to do?
2007-03-20 07:50:55 · 19 answers · asked by NLNLN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way, we both still live with each other until i leave in june. So should i enjoy the last 2 1/2 months?
2007-03-20 07:59:27 · update #1
probably stop having sex because what if someone else comes along? you would still be having sex with your ex and datig someone else? then you would have to stop having sex with him then , and it would probably hurt him a lot more
2007-03-20 07:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by Namename 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds exactly like me! My boyfriend and I split up after a few years, for basically the same reasons. We just werent going anywhere. We started to sleep together again a month after we broke up, and then decided it was best to not do that. Just because it was confortable, and we knew eachother so well. It turned out to hurt us more than anything, because we werent being the individuals we were trying to be in the first place. We ended it. That was a smart decision. We actually ended up sleeping together again for awhile about 6 months later, when we had moved on, and were doing the date scene. We were also able to move on once I started dating someone seriously. So all and all I think it is ok to sleep with your ex, but only if there is some time in between the breaking up and moving on, or else you havent really moved on or changed what you were supposed to accomplish by seperating
2007-03-20 08:00:58 · answer #2 · answered by sjhockeyfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question made me smile. I've been there... there's nothing really wrong with it, if neither of you are starting to see someone else. The reason the relationship got better is because there's no pressure anymore, so you're actually free to just be yourselves. Ironic, isn't it? We tend to hold a little back, and to try to always be a certain way around our partner... but the truth is, you CAN be yourself! Maybe this will show you that you two should be together. Anyway, I wish you luck! No guilt, as long as you're both honest about what you're feeling... you're likely to have some of the best sex ever!
2007-03-20 07:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think having sex is great, but you're just leading him to believe there may be more there than you really want. Sure, you have already told him you wanted to go your separate ways, but your actions are saying different things in his mind. Maybe you should be sitting down to discuss what your intentions are even though you guys are sexual. I would let him know that you are not looking for anyone else and that is why you continue to have sex with him, but at the same time you don't want to be obligated to anything with him...sex, commitment, etc. I'm sure if you two have already come this far, he'll understand. Good Luck!
2007-03-20 07:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by Punkie Brewster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex with an ex is ok. but just make sure he knows it is only sex. and since you do not want a relationship with him, which is absolutley fine, it will be harder when you finally say goodbye. since you like sex, and you seem very open minded, maybe find someone else to have sex with. i don't think you'll have a problem :) just be honest. and i know it's so tough to say goodbye to someone you love but just don't want the relationship. if you just want sex from him, maybe end the sex now and when the feeling subside then have sex with him again =). but also if you do that then he might want to get back together. do what makes you happy. good luck
2007-03-20 07:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by baby_sunshine_4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your ex-boyfriend is now your spoogie. That is a friend you go to for sex that you enjoy sex with and you know is safe. It's better than having a one night stand just for the sake of sex with a stranger. When you or your spoogie gets into a serious relationship then you'll part ways always as friends as long as you both understand it's just great sex between you nothing more. A spoogie is a wonderful thing to have.
2007-03-20 07:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by Cyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you are on dangerous grounds. For right now it seems all good, great sex without the commitment.
But, what happens when he doesn't want to anymore because now he has found someone else. Then the problem comes, because one of you all are going to be ready to move on before the other one.
I think if he is your ex, let him be your ex, cut the ties and remain friends. You don't want to ruin the friendship that you all have.
2007-03-20 07:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, in case you imagine that replaced into the in undemanding words time that they had sex at the same time as you 2 were at the same time or broke up you're a minimum of semi-retarded. he's were given it made in case you even let them loaf round now to not practice you're acquaintances including her too. easily, you're in part allowing this. basically get it over with and performance a three way. a minimum of you'll know what befell in the mattress!
2016-12-02 07:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now, if you're both untroubled by this arrangement, it sounds okay to me. But it might keep one or both of you from moving on to the next stage or next relationship in your life. Just keep an eye on the big picture and you'll be all right.
2007-03-20 07:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not "wrong" but it's often not a healthy decision, especially if one party still has feelings for the other. It can lead to more heartache and a re-hasing of a breakup that's already occured. Why be masochistic and put oneself through that?
2007-03-20 07:54:48 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is wrong to sleep with him. you two broke up for a reason... and then you are going to give him everything he wants without anything in return. don't be so easy. if you love sex so much then find a guy that you actually connect with and do it with him.
2007-03-20 07:54:35 · answer #11 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋