How do build my trust in him (my long-term boyfriend) again? I've caught him looking for other chicks online and he uses the excuse that me yelling and him over stuff is the reason why. But what I don't understand, the last 4 times I've caught him, he tells me the same day that he loves me knowing he did it. We've been fighting about this for quite a while and just had a big argument that lasted a week and just ended. We said our sorries and I know that when he told me he was sorry and wouldn't do it again, he meant it, but it's hard for me to believe. How do I rebuild my trust in him again? I have no idea where to begin or anything. I think about it constantly and can't get it off my mind. I know I need to change my attitude, but there's a long story behind why I act the way I do. I feel like I always have to have a defense up. How do I mend this relationship or how can we both mend this relationship? It's tearing me up emotionally, physically, and mentally.
2007-03-20 07:38:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't want to break up with him. So, please don't give me that answer. I'm trying to save this relationship. He means the world to me.
2007-03-20 07:39:16 · update #1
it's a hard thing to do..but as long u both want this relationship to keep working it will..have u talked to him why was he looking for others? what is he really searching for? Mend this relationship with the help of communication..and with that i mean remove and things that makes u doubt him..discuss with him again and tell him what really bothers you.. I don t think that in a relationship is normal to have your defense up every time. it s not ok to feel this way.
2007-03-20 07:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by Rebel EXtravaganza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can mend this is ti practice and practice very very long in how to be SAD,HURT,and DEPRESSED,cause thats the only road your wheels on driving on,I speak for experience I just saw a friend go thru extcly what your just starting to,extly,same M/O as you,and the only thing I can say to you is your words he spoke to you were I,m sorry I won,t do it again you replied I know he meant it,?? which time did you know he meant it the 1st,2nd,3rd,or 4th. you can,t rebuild with a desperate need. good luck (practice)
2007-03-20 14:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by krikett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems immature by his failure to talk with you about issues causing problems in the relationship and started checking out girls on-line instead. Trust is a big issue and it takes two willing participants to form such trust. Are you sure you want to continue making an effort to keep this relationship in tact? Are you sure the relationship is actually in tact at present?! Sorry, but I have no advice as to how to make him into the person you'd like for him to be.
2007-03-20 14:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you relly have to ask yourself if you are truely happy with the relationshp. you can't trust him... and its not your fault it is his.
the reason why you don't have trust in him is because he has broken it time and time again... and then tried to blame you for it.
do you really love him or love the company? i'm sure there are tons of guys that would die to be with you. take a good look at your priorities and what you want in a guy. also look for what makes you happy.
2007-03-20 14:44:05 · answer #4 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REALLY THINK.HARD.LOVE.IS WONDERFUL.BUT.DO YOU CONTINUOUSLY WANT TO BE LIED TO?.IF YOU CAUGHT HIM NUMEROUS OF TIMES.MAYBE.HE'S NOT REALLY SORRY.LOOK AT THE BIG BIG PICTURE.HE PROBABLY WANTS TO END THE RELATIONSHIP OR YOU GET FED UP AND LEAVE.OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO SAY HE "LOVES YOU"."HE'S SORRY".ALL THE THINGS HE HAS TO SAY TO GET YOU OFF HIS BACK.YOU FALL FOR IT.GIVE HIM SOME LOVING ETC........BUT REALLY DON'T BE SO DIZZY.DON'T THINK SO "I LOVE HIM SO MUCH" AND BE STUPID TO HIS GAMES.FORGET EXCUSES.THE TIME AS EXPIRED.REALLY THINK ABOUT MOVING ON.IT'S GOING TO HURT.THAT'S NORMAL.LOVE HURTS.
2007-03-20 15:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Shadia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want this relationship to work. you have to learn to really trust him and scrutinizing him everytime because that could easily ruin your relationship. Tell yourself that you want to trust him and stick that into your mind
2007-03-20 14:45:41 · answer #6 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is just not that into you. why would you want to be treated that way? fix yourself first, everything else will fall into place. You will realize on your own that you deserve better.
2007-03-20 14:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with time and with his actions, he will show that you can start trusting in him again. It will take time, so dont get desperate.
2007-03-20 14:41:54 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋