We have been dating a little over a month. He's a great guy, treats me great, etc. And we get along great. But there is absolutely NO sexual chemistry there. Yes we've had sex - but to me its more like a duty and not fun. Which is totally unlike me. I love sex and even have "buddies" when i'm not dating someone. Is this something I should bother working with or just move on?
2007-03-20 07:30:14 · 12 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I can tell you that as an online dating consultant, I would recommend a little exploratory dating.
Your lack of feelings for this gentleman is a rift that will definitely grow as time passes. I think that he has the qualities that you are looking for in a man, but the other half of the coin is missing. You are probably in this relationship because you have had a difficult time finding a man that you are sexually attracted to, but also has all of his good qualities.
I would get out there, and do some online dating research for guys in your area which have his qualities but also create that spark that your relationship is missing.
I have included the site that I recommend to all of my clients, if they're not already using it! It will definitely allow you to see the guy before you meet him, as well as find the qualities that you current beau has.
Get out there and look around. Perhaps some feelings may spring up for your current relationship, or perhaps you'll find that perfect combination that you're looking for!
2007-03-20 13:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by Mark V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are looking for a good long term relationship it is worth persuing. If you are looking for a quick shot of love it is not. You are not physically attracted to this person. I have been married for 20 year to the same guy, the first month I was attracted to him physically, after that you become friends, and sometimes have a physical moment. So, it's not important to get the physical thing for long term relationships, its more important that he likes you and visa versa...good together. Keep him as a friend, and maybe when you get a little older you may look at a good guy in a different lite.
2007-03-20 07:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by redford 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a vital part of any male/female relationship so if the desire isn't there you are better off being friends. Otherwise you will wind up sexually frustrated and be tempted to cheat.
If you really like this guy, you should at least give him a shot in bed to see what he can do. Maybe he'll surprise you and things will work out!
2007-03-20 07:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a relationship to work, you have to have chemistry in ALL aspects. If you don't like sex with him now, you won't tomorrow or the next day, next day, next day, etc. Sorry girl, but sounds like he isn't the man you want him to be. Then again, maybe he isn't as good as one of your buddies (which is disturbing that it is plural).
2007-03-20 07:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, people say sex doesn't matter, they are called virgins. Sex is 40 to 50 percent of the relationship, it's an animal instinct.
2007-03-20 07:34:32 · answer #5 · answered by Ross B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely communicate these feelings to him. If you really love him you would do it quick so no one gets hurt. If you think it really could be something wonderful then maybe you could work with him on the sex issue. maybe he just needs to get creative and he could do it with a good teacher.
2007-03-20 07:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by dry2th 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Unless you love him enough to teach him about sex, cut him loose. If the attraction ain't there, move on.
2007-03-20 07:34:11 · answer #7 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens...the person can be fabulous in every way you can think of, but there's no chemistry. For me, that's a deal breaker. I want that spark, that passion and I think the person I'm with deserves it as well (to have their partner feel it toward them).
If you stay, you are "settling". Would you want someone to "settle" for you? I personally wouldn't find it flattering at all to know the guy I was with wasn't head-over-heels crazy about me, but was with me because I was "good enough".
I'm 42 and I've had 1 relationship in my life where "chemistry" developed that wasn't there at the outset...it took about 2 months I think, and we weren't dating during that time, just spending time together as friends.
You may want to give it a bit more time to see if anything develops, but if you've been intimate with him and it's still not there, chances are it's never going to be.
2007-03-20 07:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Move on. The chemistry has to be there and obviously it is not in this particular case.
2007-03-20 07:34:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do both! talk to him, try something new in the bedroom, im sure he'd be egar to do somthing to please you and if things still dont get any better then maybe its time to move on, but it wont hurt to try.
2007-03-20 07:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by Youll See 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋