Since this one has been beaten the hell out of, why don't we see if anyone can actually come up with an original Mormon/Moron joke?
I'm not Mormon and don't care to be, but lack of originality is something that pains my backside more than Greg Luganis.
2007-03-20 06:49:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Does anyone else find it funny that the only 2008 Republican candidate that HASN'T been married to multiple women is Mitt Romney? Well it is somewhat pro Mormon, unless you are Fundie Mormon and then he needs him a few more wives, but I just don't really feel funny right now.
2007-03-20 06:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is one that has to do with the 3 degrees of glory. Just background, the Celestial is the top, the Terrestrial is the middle, and the Telestial is the bottom (kindof like hell, only a little better). Not literally top to bottom, but from best to least, but meh. This also has to do a bit with Utah and its being settled. Anyway, here it is:
So a man goes to heaven and Peter decides to give him the grand tour of the three degrees of glory. They go on an elevator and it opens up to the celestial kingdom. The man looks out and sees that it is lush and green and just absolutely beautiful. They decide to continue their tour and go down to the terrestrial kingdom. When the door opens, they look out. It's a bit more arid, but is generally pleasant, though not nearly as nice as that Celestial kindgom. They continue on in the elevator to the Telestial kingdom. When the door opens, they look out, and it is lush and green and just absolutely beautiful. The man looks at Peter to see if there was some mistake. But Peter just shakes his head and says "Oh no! Those Mormons have done it again!" Lol. I love that one. If we go to hell, we'll just do the work and make a heaven out of it!
2007-03-21 17:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by Laurel W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many morons does it take to make up a Mormon joke?
(you do the math)
2007-03-20 20:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by mormon_4_jesus 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is uncouth to make jokes at any groups or individuals expense. If a person wants to poke fun at themselves, then that is their priviledge but it is wrong for anyone else to make ethnic jokes or denomination jokes or anything else like it. I am a Latter-day Saint and it pains me to see ignorance promulgated on public forums. The jokesters, for the most part, do not know what they are talking about and should keep their ignorance to themselves. If they have legitimate questions to ask about the denomination, then I would be more than happy to inform them but I don't appreciate reading about stupid jokes that come from a foundation of ignorance.
2007-03-20 13:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by rac 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Hey, I found this one in the joke file on my computer:
THE MISSION PRESIDENT:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water,
Associates with God.
THE ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a switch engine,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm,
Talks with God.
THE ZONE LEADER:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds,
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
Is faster than a decelerating bullet,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with God if special request is approved.
THE DISTRICT LEADER:
Barely clears a mud hut,
Loses tug-of-war with locomotives,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
Is occasionally addressed by God.
THE SENIOR COMPANION:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Dog paddles,
Talks to animals.
THE JUNIOR COMPANION:
Runs into buildings,
Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times,
Is not issued ammunition,
Can stay afloat with a life jacket,
Talks to walls.
THE GREENIE:
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings.
Says, "Look at the choo-choo!"
Wets himself with a water pistol,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.
THE SISTER MISSIONARIES:
Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the tracks,
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them,
Freezes water in a single glance,
Knows God.
2007-03-20 13:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a Mormon and i have some of the best jokes but out of respect to my religion, i will not share them.
2007-03-20 13:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by ♣♣K+J-alltheway♣♣ 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Cloud Strife was a Jenova's Witness until he converted to Moronism.
(This won't make any sense unless you're familiar with Final Fantasy VII)
2007-03-20 13:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by P.I. Joe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Both Scape-goats/Dumb-sheep on Left/Right "hands" get a reward from Son of Man: Noahic sort of destruction in Lk 17, for them all: both them vs them; For not knowing, by now, that "both good and evil" Law Law ends with "evil". Not to mention before it was forgive them, after it's destroy them;
that is after evil concupiscence makes em feel "wretched".
PTSDs and Exposed Priests can Verify it feels wretched.
Paul The Apostle notes source of wretched: "another law".
http://www.godshew.org/Concupiscence.htm
http://www.godshew.org/AnotherLaw.htm
"Beginning" 1: "Fear" has this end: "torment"... of Law
"Beginning" 2: "Sorrows" has this end: "grief"...of Law
Good Grief? An oxyMORON with a BAD ending: Grief!
His Grace has neither of their beginnings nor their ends.
There is no dis-comfort at all in "the God of all comfort";
And there is no Law Law at all in "the God of all grace".
http://www.godshew.org/GodShew2.htm#Allness
The GRACE of our Lord Jesus Christ with you all. Amen.
2007-03-20 14:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Mor-ma-gonzolla
it's a cheese.
Mor-ma-zilla.
a big mormon.
2007-03-20 13:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why'd the penguin cross the iceberg?
2007-03-20 13:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋