I hate to think about what I did to her because I loved her very much. But I was a cheat of a husband and her mother left me because I got someone else pregnant when I was drunk. My wife was virgin and my HS sweete heart an adorable petite fun burnette and I had no reason to cheat on her but I was drunk and the women I cheated with is a 6ft heavy set, controlling, not attractive, a mile long rear end, so I am still cheating & she is exteremly jealous. When my wife left I ended up marrying her as she was threatening to sue me for child support she was PG with twins and did not want me to ever speak to my daughter let alone my ex-wife. To think I took her virginity and abanded her and my baby well ... this has been eating me up for over 10 years. I want to contact my daughter and my ex wife and make ammends. What do you think?
2007-03-20 06:09:07 · 27 answers · asked by Mr.N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you love this women you talk about and your daughter,you should try contacting them. You have waited too long for this, 10 years is a lot and the sweet girl you met years ago might have changed and not want anything to do with y ou at all. You abandoned them and never contact them? It will be hard but good luck! Dont give up,go for what you want.
Mjr
2007-03-20 06:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by mom_princess77 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
There's not much chance you'll get back with your ex-wife, if that's what your hoping, but there is a chance for forgiveness.
Your daughter will most likely be very angry with you, and if she has a step-father, feel that he is her dad. However, she probably has wondered about you all these years. This means you should try and make amends. You can contact her, apologize, tell her how you feel, and wait. If she comes around, you two may have some sort of relationship. If not, don't be too hurt or surprised.
It never hurts to try. If you want out of your second marriage, get out. It's never right to cheat. You probably need some therapy, and I'm not saying that to be mean. Good luck with your family.
2007-03-20 06:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Stephene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest cleaning up your act first. If you are not getting along with your new wife (and I assume you're not given how you talk about her and are still cheating on her) then get a divorce. Pay your dues (i.e. child support) and realize that it's better for your twins to not see you two together in a less than loving relationship.
As for making amends with your ex: honestly consider your motives for this. Do you just want to apologize so you feel better about yourself? Or are you seeking to know your daughter? If you just want to feel better about it, it's really not fair to contact them and bring all that up again. If you do want a relationship with your daughter, please realize that she may not be interested at all. Don't force it. It's not going to be easy, but you won't know till you try. I'd suggest contacting your ex first and maybe working out what you can with her. It might help get things moving with you and your daughter. Be completely honest, take responsibility for your actions (stop blaming your wife) and perhaps it will work out the way you want it to.
2007-03-20 06:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by sgtlambsonswife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry being drunk is a cop out. If you were truly that drunk you should not have been able to get it up. It was a choice you made. You should have just paid her support, and been a good father to your daughter. And faught for visitation of the other womans kids. But thats over now.
Im sorry my hubby was a cheater too..... he chose Meth over his children. ( ive never used) You need to try to talk to your daughter and give her time to adjust to you wanting her again. You broke her heart as a child im sure, and it will take time and alot of patience on your part. But in the end it will be worth it.
I will say way to go for knowing what you did was not right, Im glad you want to be part of your daughters life. If your not happy diforce the other woman..... Just end it before you get with another woman. Please dont think Im being mean, But i know how my little girl feels "cause why dont daddy love me" Ive heard more then I care to remember.
2007-03-20 06:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by tammer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find out what your daughter feels about you first. My father married my mother while she was a virgin, and physically abused and cheated on her constantly. He eventually left her and abandoned me in the process. Since I turned 18, he's been trying to have a relationship with me. However, all he is to me is a pest. I have no desire to have him in my life. I really wish he would stop trying to disrupt my life. I urge you first to make sure your daughter wants you to be a part of her life. Whether or not she does, I would advise you to write a long letter to her and her mother apologizing for your bad behavior. Include your contact information and let them know you'd be grateful if they'd contact you but will understand if they don't.
2007-03-20 06:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Caribbean Belle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u only live life once u'll never get those years u had without the people u love so now would be the best time to make ammends and its going to take a lot of work from u because i'm a woman and i'd be angry if i were ur 1st wife but more angry because of ur daughter. she should be ur everything and if u feel like she is then let her know. good luck
2007-03-20 06:19:42 · answer #6 · answered by jbw1_1002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you prefer to circulate decrease back. that's next to impossible to circulate decrease back, because of each and all of the soreness you have led to. you could attempt. yet do no longer assume a miracle. the place is the 2d spouse? If she remains in the image you're in effortless terms soliciting for extra trouble. do no longer rub salt right into a wound. in case you have left that woman and are loose to have a relationship with your daughter, without the reason of your leaving, you're making have a gamble. Your ex spouse, she might in all probability prefer to pay attention you tell her you made a super mistake. yet that would not placed you decrease back at the same time as a kinfolk. you're dreaming , your loved ones grow to be destoryed by utilising your movements and you paid a severe cost. Take what you may get and be happy that they might additionally communicate with you.
2016-10-02 11:04:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should. But, you should do it without any expectations. I'm sure there are many issues which will need to be addressed at some point. It will take a lot of persuading them that you're just not walking into their lives to walk out again. (If this is your intention, leave them alone!)
I once dated a guy who went through this very same thing. It took him a lot of time and courage to approach his kids. The daughter accepted him with open arms, but his son had a lot of resentment, but still met with him.
Good luck to ya! I hope all goes well. :)
2007-03-20 06:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a very selfish person who blames drink and others for your shortcomings but if you want to make AMENDS, you should write a letter, have a trusted friend, counselor or member of the clergy read it. If they think it is truly an apology, then you can send it.
If your ex wife and daughter respond to it, fine. If not, let them go, you have wronged them enough.
2007-03-20 06:17:37 · answer #9 · answered by realst1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could write your daughter and your ex and explain how sorry you are for all that you did. HOWEVER, they probably won't make it easy, and if you really want a relationship with your daugther, you'd better be prepared to take some crap from her.....don't run if it gets tough, because then you won't look sincere and then you'll have ended up hurting her twice as much.
2007-03-20 06:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋