Why does a nice girl like me attract so many losers?

Question

I keep getting hit on by totally disgusting men. It isn't just that they are old enough to be my father, or that they need a long session in the bathroom; their comments are so disgustingly sexual. I have gotten not just sexual comments, but propositions, and have even been groped... I don't dress provocatively, I am pretty, but no more than average, and I am 5'1". Oh, I am not anywhere seedy when this happens. It happens at bookstores, grocery stores, the mall, family restaurants. I can only see three possibilities: one: I am rather large chested- 34DD, but I keep it covered. Two, I am usually alone and being short makes me an easy target. Three, I put off the "too nice" vibe, and that makes me vulnerable. So, my question really is: what do I have to do to change this, and is there a different reason for this behavior than I can come up with?

Answer 1

You are correct in observing a few things; being short does in fact make you immediately appear less of a percieved threat, your chest draws immediate attention from this type of 'man', and being alone reduces the level of anxiety for them because if you do reject them, it won't be witnessed by anyone other than you and he. Additionally, what you refer to as the 'too nice' vibe is percieved as a non-threatening invitation by 'men' of this caliber.
You can learn by way of CBT {Cognitive Behavior Therapy} or to a lesser extent from peers, how to express through kinesics a different 'message'. Kinesics is essentially body-language and is used to change the way in which you 'present' to people. Largely taught in Police training, being aware of and having the ability to adapt how other people percieve you sounds just like what you need to keep this disrespectful, 'disgusting', and potentially dangerous element of society at a distance. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Most men are disgusting like this, trust me i know all the guys like this. However, i don't get how men get this full of themselves. I for one have never groped or made a sexual connotation WHILE SOBER! to a woman, I respect them too much, now mind you there have been a couple of instances where i would think with my d.ick and not with my head and go over, have a little to much self confidence and try and coarse a woman into "getting out of here" only to be slapped in the face lol.

What can you do to change this? Don't look so Innocent. Men don't like things left up to the imagination.

Answer 3

Well, first you have to realize that these people's lack of respect is not your fault. That being said, own the complements because that's essentially what they are. These men just don't know how to do it right. Be proud of yourself and act that way. When these creeps hit on you, tell them exactly what you think. You'd be surprised how much respect you will get for being honest. As for being groped, I can't give you advice on that - only that it's happened to me before and I physically retaliated, to my attacker's surprise. No one has the right to assault you. But remember to always think about your safety. It's more important to be safe.
Again, be proud & strong and ignore the way the creeps hit on you. If you start taking it as a complement, you will notice how much this doesn't bother you anymore. Good Luck.

Answer 4

No problem here: you are simply approachable -- a very nice thing -- it seems as though you speak to everyone -- don't seem to be shy -- but not to out spoken either.

What I would suggest is to step up the confidence level one notch and take charge of the situation when it presents itself -- ask the hard questions when they come up to you. Kill them with your kindness.

but know this you are attracting this type of man for a reason -- try this, change your thought process as far as men goes -- simply ask for what you want in a man -- only once and then let it go. The catch to this is: you can not ask more then once -- then once you ask -- you must now go on faith that it will be answered. Not necessarily tomorrow, but things will change -- this is called the secret: Live your life as he has already arrived and he will seek you out. try it you have nothing to loose

Answer 5

The same thing applies to women that attract abusive mates, exept you are attracting perverts. If you are dressing appropristely and not in an environment that this type of behavior is common, then maybe you're being too nice and showing yourself as vulnerable.

Answer 6

Yea.. it's cause these men are azzholes !!!! But you should not have to change who you are for no one. Once you do that , you'll be constantly trying to change yourself to avoid or please others. If you look that young and you are by yourself then go to a store clerk and tell them. Or tell these older men that you are only 14 or 15 and your mom said to call the cops on pervs.

Not all men are like this. I certainly am not one of them. You do seem nice so if you ever want to chat to a nice guy contact me...I would be more then happen to talk to you. Hope to here from you soon.

Answer 7

Its not you, it's the many jerks out there that does not respect women. Appearently the places that you've been to has too many of them. I think instead of being alone maybe you can bring a friend along. A guy would be better because they'll know not to do anything to you. I think its your boobs that are attracting these low-lives...so if they ever grab your ass again, slap them!!!

Answer 8

You can be a little more assertive. Guys like that go after girls like you because they think your too nice to do anything about it and they can just have there way with you. On the other hand, there are men who are just assholes and think they can treat a woman any old way no matter what she looks like.

Answer 9

1.) ignore them - don't talk to them, don't help them, don't sit next to them or even look at them

2.) go out with friends if possible, try not to go out by your self as much

3.) Go to places that are most decent

4.) don't ware tight close, especial tight pants

5.) don't ware that much make-up it helps some times

6.) don't show weakness - don't run away from them real fast, just ignore and stay away little by little at a nomal paste and stay far from them as much as you can
if they follow you call security or locate a person that works there and let them know the situation.

and if non of the obove work

Prey to God so that he can keep you from all harm and cary a Bible with you at all times

Answer 10

You don`t say how old you are .
Do you think just because the men are older that they are disgusting ?
Maybe you should just accept the advances as a compliment .
Older men don`t think they are disgusting and it takes confidence to approach a younger woman .
I feel you are the rude one with your condescending remarks .
If you really want to change this just get fat ,lazy and lose your will to be sexy ,just as those men`s wives have .
Don`t worry one day you`ll be the one that no one wants because you will be old .
Im glad you think your a nice girl because I certainly don`t .