What do I do? I've decided not to tell her how I feel, It won't change anything, I think?

Question

My mom said when she was younger, there were boys she just didn't want to talk to anymore for no reason, just like the girl I fell in love with and can't seem to let go. She also said this boy told her how he felt about her and she still didn't want to talk to him. So I'm not going to tell this girl how I feel about her because I it won't work. It's just that today I saw her talking, touching and playing with other boys and even though it don't mean nothing except she likes them in a slightly-more-than-friends but-still-not-boyfriend kind of way, it still gets to me because I'm not one of the boys she's flirting with. I can't get her off my mind. I saw her sneak at least 2 looks in my direction though (and it's one of several times I've caught her on separate occasions). I keep asking myself "She never liked you like you liked her, she told you she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, why don't you just forget her? The answer keeps coming back, "Because I miss her and I love her."

Two sides of me are telling me to try because I love her and the other is saying there must be a good reason for my benefit she's gone and let her stay gone. What happened between us was I've liked her since I was 15 and she was 15, when we met, and 4 months into the year 2006 (we were both 16) we talked but after that I did something by mistake, she got mad at me, and I gave her space. When I tried to talk to her she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I've tried to move on but I feel like I need her friendship back. Could I have given her too much space (a month and a half), to where she'd think I must not care since I didn't try my hardest to get her back, and that's why she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. By the way, when I talked to her online after that about it, she always responded when I said something. Sometimes it seems like she may want to talk to me, and maybe if I just start a casual conversation (instead of saying how I feel) it could work out.

I have the strangest feeling (or delusion, or soon to be dashed hope) that she may want to talk to me if I just be myself to her and act confident and unafraid she won't talk to me, you know, almost like I don't care. We haven't talked for 11 months as of today because I been to scared to just approach her directly. We were only friends before, and that's all I want back.

Below is what I'm thikng about saying to her.

Hey. How are you? From the moment we stopped talking, I missed you. I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. I've worked on those things to improve myself. A special girl like you is hard to find, you're unlike any friend I've ever had. No other girl is as amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful as you. No one else has your light brown eyes that sparkle when you're happy and fade away when you're sad, or your bright smile. I miss when we used to talk and I would really like to work on things and get to know you again. I really care about you and like I said, you're special to me. I'm tired of playing silly games around you, trying to act like you're not when you really are. Without you, I just had to admit that I must be really stupid for not understanding then what you were trying to tell me, that it wasn't anything wrong with me that you didn't like, it was you just didn't share those feelings for me that I

had for you.
I've found out for myself it was better when you didn't like me in that way. Now that you don't like me at all, it's alot worse. For the things I've done, I'm really sorry. I was just afraid of losing you, so I did. I only want us to start over, pretend this whole thing never happened. I just want your friendship back, if it's ok with you. If what you want is to never see me or speak to me again, I will just try to let you go just because I only want to make you happy. (END)

Answer 1

Move on and stop wasting your time. There is other girls out there.

Answer 2

After reading you question. I have an answer. I was in the same situation. there are just some people that you can never get over. I best way to go about this is to. Give her plenty of time. It may seem like you'll never get over her but you will. You may still like her so if you want any chance of her liking you again you have to try to be her friend. Ask her to speak with you alone. If it is infront of any other people then that will bring unneeded attention. Explain to her that you still like her but if she doesn't feel the same way thats fine. Just try to be her friend. It is easier to get over someone if you put yourself in realistic situations of her just being your friend. You can't just get over her in one night. It takes sometime. If you really want the answer you have to talk to her because she is the only one that can give it to you. I wish you luck

~lostandlonely

Answer 3

i think you need to just be out with it and let her know how you feel, this is clearly eating you up....you can't go on this way..and really what have you got to lose by just being honest.....really, sounds like she may have feelings for you too....keep it casual, but get your point across.
I am much older than you and I am married.....if you choose to read on I will tell you a little story, I am married to a guy I went to high school with, he was very shy and quiet and I was not. He said he always had a crush on me and to this day I can't understand why he didn't say anythinjg to me , or ask me to prom....or anything....it saddens me to think of all the wasted years we both had without eachother....so you see, just speak up, you may be very surprized at what happens..good luck........give it a shot!!!!

Answer 4

I got a request....u mind coming back to tll me what happen when this is all ove or when u have come to a decision......coz i'm actually in an almost identical situation as u,difference,i didnt give her space.....pester n annoyed the hell out of her....Zzzz
then again there's two sides,1 to forget n 1 that i love her. Got no ideas what to do too !

Answer 5

oh man....thats one lengthy story. youve both got alot of growing up to do before thinking about another relationship. dont avoid her, be a friend to her. maybe things will take off again naturally

Answer 6

if you dont tell her than its sure that nothing will happen... but if u tell her than may something happen..
i just wanna say that if u dont tell her than there are no chances.. but if u tell her than there are chances though much less according to ur point of view..
so whats wrong in trying...and give a chance to luck

Answer 7

Too long.
Just talk to her, what is wrong with you?