First, let me just say I love my bf more than anything so the "just leave him" responses aren't necessary. But this issue has come to a point where I am emotionally and even physically tired and worn out. My bf knows I dont like him looking at porn, so about 5 months ago he told me he would stop because it makes me upset. Well, yesterday I found out that he has been looking at it, even paying for it. When I go to confront him, he denied it then eventually said yes but he will stop again. So today, I looked at his email ( i know I shouldnt have but) and he requested those sites to change his info, which shows his intent to still look at it. I am so upset, hurt and worn out over this and he is just going to lie to my face about it. What is so great about porn he has to look at it then lie. Why lie? If he knew he couldnt stop, why not tell me that 5 months ago? Im tired of crying and staying up at night worrying about what else he could be lying about...any advice? Thanks.
2007-03-20 05:20:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have also caught him keeping info from me, such as not telling me his ex was trying to contact him online. Its just getting to be too much but I cant leave him.
2007-03-20 05:22:35 · update #1
I've been with my husband for seven years. Guys like porn--that's just what they do. If he enjoys looking at it and it's not harming your relationship, why not just let him? The lying part is definitely not cool, but maybe he just didn't want to upset you by continuing to enjoy it.
In my opinion, telling him he can't look at porn and spying on him by looking through his email can only cause more problems. Obviously, there are some trust issues there if you feel you have to do that. Keep in mind, though, that you're not being "replaced" if he looks at porn, it's just something every guy does.
It could be that he's unsatisfied in your relationship, that he's looking for satisfaction somewhere else (i.e. porn). I'm not saying he's cheating on you or anything by any means, but you two might be lacking a connection of some sort.
I would talk to him rationally, without nagging or getting emotional, to find out what's behind all this. There's no reason you should be crying yourself to sleep at night--relationships are supposed to be a good thing, not something that upsets you so much.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 05:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by lalalola775 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The age old porn debate. Many will say that it's normal andguys will always look at it and then there are those on the other side of the coin who will say it's wrong and is almost like cheating. It seems your opinions on the matter are at odds with his. I honestly don't feel this will ever stop being an issue unless one of you changes your mind. He says he will stop but he obviously has no intention of doing so and you are not going to stop being upset by it, correct? So what do you want us to tell you? You don't want anyone to tell you to leave him. Well then fine,I won't but do understand that this is not going to change either.
2007-03-20 06:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by Vivita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn is not ideal for a marriage, but under your circumstances can you look at it with him and try things together that he likes? Can you get him to stop lying to you about it if you tell him you want him to tell you when he does and you will not get mad or cause any other negative feelings between the two of you. Just get him to be up front when you ask, so that you can learn to trust him better.
2007-03-20 06:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, no offence but lighten up girl!!! Everybody likes porn, even if they're getting good sex, love their partner whatever. WE ALL LOVE PORN LOL!!no bu seriously your guy likes porn, i don't see what the big deal is, maybe you can join him looking at it sometimes, i suppose you's like it too if you tried it's quite HOTT!!!
2007-03-20 07:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by xsierra_diamondx 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋