I miscarried my son in Decemeber and my neighbor just gave birth on my due date recently. I don't know how to deal? My other neighbor gave birth a few years ago on another due date of a baby I lost. Is God playing some sort of joke on me!!!??!! Should I just move and stop trying to have a baby?
2007-03-20 05:18:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Am I being punished for not having any real faith?
2007-03-20 05:19:30 · update #1
There are a few things that I thank God I have never had to go through, and miscarriage is one of them. My mother had 7 pregnancies and 2 of them miscarried (the first and the last ones) and that never went away.
Don't feel guilty for asking a few bitter questions when you're in deep trouble (you see similar things in the Book of Psalms). But I believe that if you have genuinely asked God for help, no matter how uncertain you feel in doing so, that he will send some sort of help.
The biggest book in the Bible for the subject of suffering is Job. It might be worth your while to read it, although it's very erudite and flowery and so on. Here's a summary of the book as I interpret it:
Job is a good man and the adversary considers him significant enough to make specially nasty efforts to get at him. God allows it, with some limitations, and Job is suddenly hit by horrific losses and later the loss of his own health.
His friends visit and sit in sympathy, and they have a lot of things to say; you'll probably have heard some of these from your friends: If you're in trouble, then stop whatever sin you're doing, and God will forgive and restore you. God loves his people and will not punish them without reason. God has the power to end suffering. Etc. (A lot of what they say is not in itself untrue, but they are making some incorrect assumptions; they tend to put it that suffering has to be the result of sin on the part of the sufferer.)
Job insists that he knows all that, but that it isn't applicable in his case, because he has lived a good life. And the reader knows this. The erudite and poetic argument continues for who knows how long. Job feels that his friends are using academic dishonesty in God's defence: fine to defend God, but do it honestly.
About when they all start to run out of steam, Elihu, a young man who in keeping with the values of the time does not push forward too early, starts to tell all four of them that they've got it wrong. His drift seems to be that God is not answerable to men, no matter how erudite they may be, and that God won't play our games.
After they've had an earful off Elihu, God finally speaks to Job, and his first words are not of comfort but to show him what humility and submission means. Faced by God at last, Job suddenly forgets all his own wisdom and the questions he wanted to ask of God, and responds with complete trust and submission to God's wisdom. Just as suddenly, God accepts Job's words and gives him something to do: pray for the friends who had tormented him with their arguments.
After Job does this, God restores him to health and wealth. The idea you end up with is that although Job did not deserve the suffering, God can teach people amazing things just when they are at their lowest.
If none of this means anything to you, please don't be upset. I would be just as bad as Job's friends if I pretended to know what things are true in your case. But I know that God does not play "jokes" on people. He lets us be subject to the human condition, tragic as it may be, and Biblical evidence is that he sometimes lets the adversary get at some of us, but God is always looking to do something good to you at the end. (Oh dear, that did sound trite, but I can't think of a better way to say it.)
The Bible doesn't give us much info about what happens to miscarried babies. Perhaps people in general don't need to know. But after my father died a year and a half ago, my younger sister had some dreams in which she saw Dad. Firstly he was with a Jewish-looking man he called "my Friend", and secondly he was in the same place, holding "two very tiny, very beautiful babies". My mother's response? "Oh, that's not fair--he's got them and I haven't!" I don't think all dreams are revelatory by any means, but around the time Dad died, there was some sort of message of peace to all of us. I told a friend about Sarah's dreams, and she said of course, a lot of people who have dreamed of Heaven say that it is full of babies all happy to be with Jesus.
I haven't really answered your question, but I will pray for you.
2007-03-20 06:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by Fiona J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry that you miscarried twice but God is not playing tricks on you. He may be trying to tell you something. I saw a program last night where a couple went to the Ukraine to help the poor children of that region. During their stay the woman gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who unfortunately died a few days later. During much grieving and prayer, they decided to dedicate their lives to these other children who had parents with addictions, or no parents at all. The couple have built a wonderful complex and you should have seen the looks and smiles on the faces of those kids (there must have been about 50 or 60 of them). In the course of what the couple thought was a slap in the face from God, it turned out to be an incredible blessing to them both. I reiterate that God is not playing tricks, He may be calling out to you to come closer to him. Your blessing will come, it may not be in the way you choose, but it will be a tremendous blessing when it does come. My prayers are with you friend.
2007-03-20 12:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by philz4jc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, God isn't punishing you. It's just a cruel twist of biology and coincidence. These things always seem magnified after a miscarriage when it seems like everyone is having a baby but you (I don't know from personal experience but this is according to my aunt who miscarried) I'm so sorry for your loss.
If you haven't already, get yourself some therapy to help deal with your losses. A professional counselor can help you sort out your feelings and deal with your grief and anger in a healthy way. Get yourself in healthy place mentally and emotionally before you try to make the decision about trying again or moving on.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
2007-03-20 12:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by LX V 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nooo thats silly. Although its true God has a strange sense of humour (so would you if you were all powerful) but God gives life to those he wishes and takes those he wishes. He is by no means punishing you (that would be pointless... he can punish you a whole lot more in the afterlife than on earth so its pointless) you just have to be patient. About half of all early miscarriages happen because of a problem in the way genetic material from the egg and sperm has combined during fertilisation. It can be difficult to find out why this has happened but it is more likely to be due to random chance than to any underlying problem.
While some studies suggest that stress may play a role in pregnancy loss, it hasn't been shown to cause miscarriages on its own.
So relax... take a little break. Successful pregnancies are usually unplanned pregnancies (strange isn't it?) and it will happen when it happens. Be strong... the most that is happening her is your resolve is being tested.
2007-03-20 12:27:45 · answer #4 · answered by jackfrost_y2k 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My dear, you are NOT being punished by God. Have you ever heard the saying,
"God Never gives you more than you can handle".....I also had a miscarriage in my past...the worse thing about it was my husband was in the Navy, and they separated rooms with drapes....After the miscarriage they put me in a ward with mothers that had had their babies....That was very tough for me...to hear all those babies crying & how happy the mothers where....I said I would Never try for another child.....Today I have 2 wonderful son"s......
You will never forget this I am afraid,.but don't be mad at God...He really is there to help you....You need to contact your Dr....and let them know that you are having trouble coping......Its called "post pardem Depression" You really need some help....
Don't try and cope with this alone...It will get better....I promise....Today I send you my strength and God Bless you....If you want to talk more....email me.....take care my friend
2007-03-20 12:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by Kerilyn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep faith in God and ask Him to help you to strengthen your faith and trust in Him. You are not alone, many women have suffered the loss of their baby. I am one of them. I had a son that I carried to term in 2004 who was born stillborn. I love him dearly and he is in a much better place and I strive daily to make it to heaven. I plan to see him and hold him again. I had a healthy pregnancy with no complications so we did not foresee this. But my trust in God was strengthened/multiplied, and I made it though, it was hard and I will never get over it, but I made it. All things work together for good to them that love the Lord. I have a 9 month son now, I did not lose faith. God is good!
2007-03-20 13:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Moni B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Typical reponse. Anytime anything goes wrong people some how think that God is to blame. God has nothing to do with it. If you're gonna blame God for everything then maybe you shouldn't be raising any children until you develop a strong will that won't let your faith be broken. As far as God not doing anything, why should He partake in time or in an aeon when He existed before these things. And why would He meddle, wouldn't that hinder our free will? Why should God take part in our lives when He made us to be part of Him? God gave us a spirit nature. Matter exists in confliction to the spirit. That is why matter is flawed and you should blame your physiology or genetics but, not God.
2007-03-20 12:40:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lifted by God's grace 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My heart goes out to you. God wants only the best for us. Ask God to reveal to you why you have miscarried. Let God know that you want His blessing and you know a child is a gift from God. God doesn't play sick jokes. There could be an inherited factor that needs to be dealt with. Don't give up asking God until He answers.
2007-03-20 12:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no more than he does with the population. god does not play
around, nor seems to play favoritism like that., its our own life. he can make exceptions. but i guess its up to him! god did not let you miscarried for a punishment. then let your neighbor have children as a joke to you. he loves you both.
2007-03-20 12:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's VERY common (unfortunately) for people to think that bad things happen to them as punishment from God. This only makes you more and more afraid of God and have less of a relationship with him. It may be useful to think about Job and the hardships he endured.
In addition, please reach out in all directions to people around you -- they want to help! It's easier to think through these things by talking and listening.
2007-03-21 19:20:39 · answer #10 · answered by Surely Funke 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋