Last week my ten-years-younger brother (he's 10, I'm 20) who is in the fifth grade was put in time out for an hour because some kid chased him with a freshly sharpened pencil threatening to stab him with it. When the kid caught my brother, he really did try to stab at him but, thankfully, my brother had on a very thick jacket so the pencil never pentrated. My brother retaliated and when the teachers saw this, they put both boys in time out for an hour. My parents and I congratulated my brother for standing up for himself and me and my mother will be having a very strongly worded talk with the teachers (and possibly the principal) about this event.
When asked why my brother was put in time out, the teacher said "he should have come to us instead of reatiliating. We had to punish him too". Do you agree with this? What are some things you would tell the teachers/principal? Do you agree with punishing both parties of a "fight" even though one started it because no one told the teacher?
2007-03-20 05:05:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My brother and I have always been told by our parents that if someone started a fight with us and threw the first punch and we didn't fight back, we would get another butt-whooping when we got home. Which is something I truly agree with. I taught him how to fight myself and for a scrawny little ten-year-old, he can throw a mean right hook!
2007-03-20 05:06:05 · update #1
Before answering, remember this: my brother was being chased by a boy who has a FRESHLY SHARPENED pencil! What would YOU do if someone were about to stab you with something like that? The kid TRIED to stab my brother and if it weren't for that jacket, he'd probably still be in the hospital. Think about it.
2007-03-20 05:23:50 · update #2
To Know Me Is To Love Me, this is for your answer: the kid DID try to stab my brother. As I said above (twice I believe), if it weren't for the large jacket my brother always wears, he would probably still be in the hospital. The jacket was too thick for the boy to stick the pencil through it. My brother was assaulted with a deadly weapon.
2007-03-20 05:39:45 · update #3
Bernieszu, this one is for you: yes, there have been events leading up to this. That kid has been bullying my brother since the third grade. He got fed up. Obviously, you were never bullied.
2007-03-20 05:46:35 · update #4
Nope I don't agree that both parties should be punished. THE KID WAS TRYING TO STAB HIM WITH A SHARP PENCIL!!! Those things can penetrate skin, veins and organs if given enough force. Clearly it's a matter of self defense and self preservation. It's one thing if the kid was going to slap him or throw an eraser at him or something, but stab him with a pencil??? This teacher is a moron and you should definately talk to the principal, if he doesn't support what you say outright w/ no questions asked and agree to reprimand her or set her straight- go to the board of education or whatever it is that's higher than the principal.
Thinking about it, this is a matter the local news station would love to eat up. In some cases the parents would sue the school. Dramatic for your taste? If so, get the teacher set straight becuase this rule being applied to this case seems absurd.
2007-03-20 05:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's a difference between using enough force to defend yourself and then following it up with retaliatory force. If your brother only used enough force to push the kid off him and get away then you have an issue with the school and the teachers. However, if your brother pushed the kid off and then threw some punches and/or kicked him they both deserved what they got.
Since you say your family taught you to fight back or you'd get in trouble at home, I'm willing to bet something like the second scenario is more likely what happened. Now if that's your house rule, while I don't agree, I would bet he's not in trouble at home.
But that rule doesn't work in schools for this reason: now the kid with the pencil has been hurt and should fight back. If schools allow him to have this rule tomorrow he'll have a knife and the next day your brother will bring a gun. Basically, the kind of escalation this rule would allow would eventually hurt not only the two kids fighting but others around them.
Talk to the teachers and the principal to make sure they know to watch this kid because it sounds like a longstanding feud but don't expect them to apologize for handing out in school punishments when both boys broke the school's rules.
2007-03-20 06:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but I think the teacher was right. If kids in school are fighting, someone can really get hurt - the kids fighting or the bystanders.
For the safety of all the children in a school, it's very important that the teacher is told if one child is being aggressive and it's important for all the kids to learn that physical aggression is not acceptable, for any reason.
There was probably some conflict that led up to this incident - what was said? It's fairly rare for a fight to have no history or to be completely one-sided.
Yes it's good to be able to defend yourself, but it's far more useful and more important to learn how to defuse aggression before it gets physical and how to resolve differences through discussion.
I take your point about the freshly sharpened pencil. But look at it this way, what if the aggressive kid had had a knife? Should your brother have tried to fight him off or should he have tried to get the teacher's help? By standing on his own two feet, your brother might have ended up seriously injured or even killed.
2007-03-20 05:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by bernieszu 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now this is a difficult one. On one hand, they are boys, and they often need to fight something out to solve it, and prove they are not weak. One the other hand, I do not think that parents should be telling a child off for not retaliating physically. I don't think he should have been punished the same as the offender, but I do see where the teachers are coming from on wanting to punish him. If your brother was seriously hurt by the other kid your family would be angry with the teachers for not stopping it, but it's difficult for teachers to see everything that is going on, and to know when to step in or not.
2007-03-20 05:29:46 · answer #4 · answered by iccleanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The teacher did the right thing by punishing both of the boys, although the other boy should have received a harsher punishment than a 1 hour time out. There is nothing wrong with defending yourself, but there is a time and a place for everything.
2007-03-20 05:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by dolphins_chic_69 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think, that your brother fought back is not defense but as you said yourself, retaliation. It was consequential to the classmate's action. Had he not been provoked, he wouldn't have done that. He could've handled this more maturely, but then he's just a kid and didn't know any better. You and your mom shouldn't have encouraged this kind of behavior by congratulating him. He was okay, didn't get hit by the other kid so he could've done something else to stop the fight. It was right for the teachers to have put him on time out because although the other kid started the fight, it was HE who caused damage to his classmate. They were being fair to both parties I guess.
However, having this fight started, you and your mom definitely would have to talk with the teachers about that not happening any more or else, the kids might get hurt seriously next time.
2007-03-20 05:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
So in other words you are teaching your 10 year old brother that if someone starts a fight with him it's okay to keep fighting. Try telling your brother to be the bigger person and tell someone what's going on. I would never ever tell my younger siblings that it is okay to fight someone. I don't care if the person threw the first punch or not. Yes I agree with the teacher punishing both boys. Your brother did something in retaliation to being chased with a pencil. That is not something you do. I would tell the teacher that if this continues you will have to have a talk with the other person's parents and figure out what's going on.
2007-03-20 05:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
nicely, I even have little ones and that i too tell my young little ones to shield themselves. the certainty that the youngster attempt to stab him with a pencil, that could desire to be seen a weapon. factor that out to the instructor and vital. that youngster is think to get suspended. i do no longer agree at the same time with your brother having been punished, yet while 2 young little ones act up, even in self protection, the lecturers are informed to punish the two. it is so as that next time any project arises, your brother will tell the instructor so as that she might desire to handle it. i be attentive to it s*cks yet, they're attempting to coach the youngsters that violence isn't the thank you to handle issues. this is a sturdy lesson i ought to confess.
2016-10-19 04:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the teacher was wrong to punish your brother. he should be allowed to defend himself. he should be apologized to, also.
2007-03-20 05:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by luvbuggies 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋