How would you take this ...?

Question

I've been dating this guy for the last 4 months and we have argued almost from day one. I really like him to a point and I think we both are just two strong personalities so I say to him:

"I'm not sure what direction your going and I want to make sure you and I are on the same level.I've been talking with friends and asking myself questions and I don't want to fall in love and then find out later you don't have the same vision as me"

He starts cussing and telling me if I listen to my friends then I will be lonely and that if I observe a little more then I would know ( thats the point I dont see anything) and that I thought I was better then him.

So since then we have been all down hill and I recently was over his house and he went to sleep and called out another womens name. I thought that was just as bad. Now he keeps bringing up the conversation and says he's not longer interested in me. I think he's been seeing someone else or has someone else and made up an excuse.

Answer 1

move on he doesnt want to be with you and you deserve better

Answer 2

Any guy who has 1) been arguing with you from day one and thinks 2) you don't see (observe) anything and 3) says you think you are better than him is not even that interested in you. What difference does it make if he calls out another woman's name? What difference does it make if he says he's no longer interested in you (although when someone says that, it is time to go out the door, close it behind you and keep walking away)? It's not an excuse - he's hasn't been involved with you enough to worry about 1,2,and 3. As the character on 'Sex and the City' famously said, 'He's just not that into you.' So get out of that relationship now and don't look back. If you keep having relationships like this, then maybe there is something you need to work on in your own life and your own personality but this guy doesn't even care that much about you. He doesn't care if he hurts your feelings and he's not interested in YOU and who you are. He doesn't even sound like he likes you all that much. Lose him. You don't need this - and he would see someone else and make up excuses; he doesn't care about the relationship.

Answer 3

For him to swear in your face is a red flag. Granted, fights are good to have in relationships sometimes... you can sort out some issues that way and maintain your own self/personality... but honestly. Cussing and putting you down like that? Maybe a little bit of lack of respect, I'd say.
For him to say he's no longer interested in you is saying he isn't too scared of losing you. That's a HUGE red flag. I don't know how much more you need to let you know that he is gonna make your life mediocre, if not hell.

As for the woman's name, I wouldn't worry too much about that.. dreams and sleep are wacky/crazy and you can't rely on those.

Hope you make a decision that you benefit from the most. God bless.

Answer 4

Get rid of him. He isn't worth it. If a guy can't talk to you with out cussing...he isn't really worth it. He doesn't need to swear when you are just telling him how you feel about things. If he's calling someone's name out in the middle of the night...there has to be someone else. Or maybe it's an ex he's just thinking about subconsciencly. But, it isn't a bad thing that you ask your friends for advice. That's what friends are for! He isn't good for you. If you don't feel it..it won't be there ever. If you don't see it...it won't happen. You need to find someone who is going in the same direction as you. You don't need someone to hold you back. Follow your dreams. Accomplish what you need to succeed. And when the right guy comes a long, you will know it. It's that once in a lifetime feeling. =)

Answer 5

I wouldn't take that at all. Let him go. You can't listen to your friends all the time, but you do have to listen to them to a point. Sometimes other people can see things from the sidlines better than you can see them from the field. What if you were to listen to him and stopped listening to your friends just for him and you lost them and then he starts cheating on you and you have nobody to turn to because thanks to him you lost all of your friends over some stupid guy. Think about it. After a guy dumps you, all you have is your friends. If you give up your friends just for a guy and then he dumps you, then who do you have? Nobody. Even if he said he'd be with you for forever, never let a man seperate your from your friends. That means bad news and a red flag better go up.

Answer 6

PLEASE READ IT ALL>>>>if you were somebody else and this was asked to you what would you say?? this is what i think .... i think that his not for you and your not for him. Its defenetly not going to work... love... is not enough... i mean do you think your going to be miserable without him ? you won't be. Tired of trying? youll get tired of being tired and won't longer be sometime. move on really. DO NOT TLK TO HIM NE more . JUST DON"T. i don't know about you but i woundnt put up with somebody that calls me someyone else's name . i certainly woudn't try to make things work out with somebody who doesn't feel the same for me. i also found out that two controlling ppl won't work forever...so if you rather learn the easy way follow my advice .. if you like to learn the hard way than ignore what i have to say. you can always find something better even if you don't want to at the time. life is a challenge you has got remember that nothing will be simple. His really not worth it>>>>>>>>> i mean do you think you will spend the rest of your life with him.. if not .. than why why/??? are you wasting such valuable time. A guy that really likes you doesn't tell you i don't feel 4 you ne more .... a guy that really cares doesn't give you this kind of insecurities or questionings. DON"T TALK TO HIM NE MORE MOVE ON! argue for what when you just don't have to ... and almost about stupid s*** what for. Even if is not that bad that could be quite annoying, fustrating, and waste of time really. when you can be talking to somebody that values your perpectives instead. Also i am not saying that freinds come first because the guy your with at the time could be the one that your spending the rest of your life with and friends will have make their life someday. but is not even to that point... his just a waste of time. don't let Ne body take you away from your real friends specially when your the one asking for opinions from them. friends will only tell you what they think and will not try to butch in into your relationship. learn to not tell the guy your with what they think about him or to tell them what he thinks about them and said about them. this only creates conflicts. the question is are you looking for advice or problems??? your choice

Answer 7

It sounds like he picked this argument and used it as an excuse to break up with you. Guys are less mature than girls and rather than just tell you he doesn't want to be with you anymore they create an issue and use it as the excuse. So, I would just let him be. There are plenty more trustworthy guys out there.

Answer 8

I didn't even have to read all of that to tell you what to do...One, arguing everyday is a waste of time. Two, you have to ask your friends and that's not good either and three, he uses foul language when talking to you and that's it. No good, sweetie. Move on and find someone who you can laugh with, your friends are jealous of and who talks sweetly to you!

Answer 9

Just stop talking to him. You two are oil and water.

Sounds like you both would have fun with each other on a one night stand, but there there's too much opposition upon which to build a relationship.

Answer 10

Leave him 4 months is a drop in a bucket. He sounds like he doesn't want to be with you so just leave him alone. He has serious issues.

Answer 11

this is a NO brainer!!! get rid of him. And speaking from experience after being married to a woman for 13 yrs that held me back from my friends, you will not be lonely when you boot this jaska$$ to the curb