I have a question about depression/ anxiety....and keeping house clean?

Question

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. All you have to do to see how I am feeling is take a look at my house. If it is clean, then I am feeling pretty good. If it is a mess, then I am a mess inside. I know that this is labeled as depression/anxiety issues, but have any of you ever wondered if this is something different? Like an illness in itself? Some people can be depressed and not have any problems whatsoever with keeping up with the house. It is an embarassing problem that I wish I could find a cure to as I am sure many of you wish as well. I am not bragging, but I am a great mother except for the whole house problem. I try so hard and will be doing great..then I start sliding again. Sometimes I feel a lot of it has to do with my need for having everything perfect. I know that perfection is impossible so I just give up. So, anyway...do you ever wonder if this could be something completely different? I do. It seems like it needs a different name. Thank you.

I just wanted to say you ALL are great!!! Thank you so much..I was afraid I might be setting myself up for some critisism. Each of you has made me think...it will be difficult finding "one" best answer. Again, thank you!!!

Answer 1

What you describe is all part of the depression issue. It is not a separate issue in itself. Why not consider hiring a teen to come in and help clean for you?

Answer 2

I am suffering from something similar. I know that a few months ago I saw something on Oprah about people that have a real problem with keeping their surroundings clean. The expert she had on did give it a different name. I rarely watch O but I did that time and said "that's me!" Part of the therapy is to do the work.
I think sometimes I use the dirty house as a way to avoid other things. Like, I would work harder on my writing but the house is so messy. I would have friends over but the house is so bad. Since you say you have suffered for years I would hope that you are under the care of a mental health professional. I speak from experience that you won't get better until you do.

Answer 3

I've never had depression issues but do suffer from what you are basically describing. Everything can get overwhelming at times. I had 4 kids 2 years apart in age and was a single, working parent. I also had 3 kids that I took in because their parents couldn't cope with them in addition to ducks, chickens, turkeys, dogs, cats and birds (yes, it was a zoo). But I found that if I wasn't feeling up to par (overwhelmed, I tended to just give up on the house....besides there were many days that you just couldn't do it all anyway and the kids needs came first. I have always suspected that I am at the very least border line obsessive/compulsive. I think this should be called IJDGADT....(i just don't give a damn today) disorder! The T (today) could be changed accordingly W (week), M (month), Y (year), L (lifetime???). Anyway this is a problem that apparently is NEVER going to go away for me because now at 60 I am raising my 7 year old grandson who I am thinking of having his name changed legally to "I don't know how to pickup anything I own boy".

Answer 4

I think it's a matter of satisfaction, I myself am always tiding up, and I am obsessed with the very smallest amount of dust I see, but then I ask myself why?

I should JUST be content: but in the case of dust, if it wasn’t so bad for my health, I shouldn't have to clean it off, or else I would be one of those people who only care about the image I portray of myself..

It's not you, it's the society we live in, messiness is wrong because it is made to be wrong.. So don't worry about the mess..

Try this exercise, just stay in the mess for a while, try to feel relaxed, and when you want to clean, clean for yourself, not for the "perfect image", and clean because YOU WANT to, not because you’re SUPPOSED to.. That way you won't feel stressed about it..

You asked for a cure, when you already are the cure! Don't make cleanliness an anxiety, make it something you enjoy, don't clean and organize every single corner of the rooms eVeRyDaY, just do it bit by bit, and don't "give up" on yourself..

You should feel good whether you’re tidy today, or not! Just because you're messy, DOES NOT mean you have an illness or are bad in anyway, it just means you’re busy with more IMPORTANT matters, e.g: like your kids.

Feel satisfied. Don’t feel compelled. And don’t be stressed because of something like domesticity.

Good luck. I hope this helped.

Answer 5

You may have a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but my theory is that most successful people do. You have children and you're a "great mother" so that means you pay a lot of attention to the emotional and physical needs of your children. Keeping your house clean is important for sanitary purposes but no mess is next to impossible with children. If you want a label, it's probably OCD. If you want the truth, you're being too critical of yourself and setting yourself up for failure by expecting a tidy house with children. We did make our kids responsible for housekeeping within their range of capability as they matured. Sometimes it wasn't much, but they should be picking up their own toys, clothes, books, dishes etc. You're their mother, not their domestic servant, and you're raising far healthier children by attending to their other needs.

Answer 6

You sound like you have OCD as well. I'm the same way...if I'm feeling ok I take care of myself. If I'm depressed I won't shower or brush my teeth. I have bi-polar disorder and OCD. And your condition sounds like mine. A psych could help you but if you don't have the money you can go somewhere that charges on a sliding scale or to a free clinic. Whenever you start to feel bad just vege out or play with the kids. You are not alone. You can e-mail me if you like for more information or just to discuss your feelings.

Answer 7

Don't know a different name for it , but my wife suffers the exact opposite. When happy and things are going well she is relaxed enough to let the house slide a bit, its when the house is spotless I worry, b/c that's her stress energy at work. Stress effects everyone differently. You may however have a slight Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD happens to many different degrees so you may want to investigate that possibility.

Answer 8

I can perfectly undestand what you are going through...being a Mom of two i go through the same problem as well, but who says we moms have ten arms and 16 legs. So it is OK to deal with kids and their happiness then our own for a short time...house can be cleaned later...try hiring a cleaning lady for a short time just so you can catch up on other things and then move on to clean the house. Ask you husband to take care of a few chores in the house to help you as well.
i hope it helps

Answer 9

I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression a few years ago....finally, through talk with a therapist, it turns out it was all rooted in having ADD.
Once that was determined, I was prescribed a med called Concerta. Sure wish I had that while growing up....Lord only knows how much better my quality of life could have been.
Better late than never.

Answer 10

These are simply matters that experience labored for me (the son of a MAJOR percent-rat/muddle queen). Use them if you happen to like one million:CLEAN AS YOU GO. If you spill anything - mop it u p immediately. Never depart a room empty passed. there may be continuously anything out of position - take it again to its rightful dwelling earlier than it will get too at ease there & invitations its peers to become a member of it . If you are taking anything out, use it, blank it & positioned it again in which it belongs. two: FIND A HOME FOR EVERYTHING. and that i do not imply simply stash them out of sight. uncover a logical smart position for the whole thing to live whilst no longer in use & be certain its there whilst ever it's inactive. three: GET RID OF THINGS YOU DON'T NEED. Clutter is brought on via having too many matters & no longer sufficient areas to position them. If you have not used anything within the final X months do you fairly must hold it round? If the reply is not any - GET RID OF IT. If the reply is YES, positioned it in which it belongs. By making the above conduct you are going to scale down at the want for a enormous blank and your position will look to handle itself. I forgot the principal one: ****CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK**** Does your position must be photographer-capable consistently? Are your peers that prone to drop in unannounced and critique your housework competencies? Set useful expectancies for your self and your partner and get at ease with them and dont pressure out approximately it... this may increasingly make existence plenty less complicated for you and the partner and enable you time to revel in existence somewhat extra. Cheers.