1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2007-03-20 04:01:54 · 18 answers · asked by clever investor 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I like that! There is some good advice there! Seen all that stuff before, but never in a collection like that. Thanks. And I like the way you brought in the bible to make it look like you have a legit 'question'. A man after my my own heart!
2007-03-20 04:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very informative but you had a couple different from what I read in the Bible (King Ralph version):
3) It is always darkest before the dawn. Don't you think you should pay your electic bill?
9) If at first you don't succeed - give up. No sense being dang fool about it.
You left out:
23) Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you.
24) He who laughest last - didn't hear the joke.
25) If life gives you lemons, return them to the store for a refund and say they were not your size.
26) Leadeth us not unto templation - for we already knowest the way.
27) In God We Trust - All others pay cash.
2007-03-20 11:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. This is written to "today's" audience of Westerners with comfortable lives and disposable income...lol. The bible was written to an audience of nomadic savages wandering through the desert thousands of years ago in another part of the world. It seems fairly evident that times change and so do the rules; but some people are so scared of original thought that they'd rather pretend to identify with Bronze Age mores.
2007-03-20 11:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by jonjon418 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if man wrote it now I think a lot of this could be included
2007-03-20 12:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by ringo711 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope, my Bible doesn't say anything remotely like your statements. But they sure are funny!
2007-03-20 11:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by yourdayscoming 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your eloquantly phrased question must be from some Bible I am not aquainted with.
I suggest you read one from any church in your neighbourhood, then re-ask your question, for it appears that the time it took you to type this question shows your genuine interest in the Bible and you need to seek the right one!
2007-03-20 11:08:52 · answer #6 · answered by cullentoons 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Cute! Funny!
Not an answer or a question...........but I forgive
2007-03-20 11:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it certainly makes more sense than the bible, but less of an exciting fiction book to read.
2007-03-20 11:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by dsclimb1 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Sorry can't answer proper do to boredom, falling asleeeeeeep.
2007-03-20 11:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by S.O.S. 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No way!!!!!!! The Bible would never say any of that stuff. Whoever told you that is wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad that you take an interest in the Bible though.
2007-03-20 11:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by drewster 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋