My birth father left my mom and I when I was 3. He later relinquished his parental rights when I was 5. I was then adopted by my step father. My birthfather has never made contact since I was 4. I am now 36. I made contact with my birth father 4 months ago. It looks like it will be a long process to estalish any type of relationship. I learned that I have 4 siblings who range from 16-30 years old. These 4 people do not know I exsist. My birth father does not want to tell his kids until the youngest finishes school, as he is concerned it will negatively disrupt their lives. I feel a bit cheated that these 4 will not know me until I am approaching my 40's. If my birth father disconnects from this reuniting process, is it awful of me to connect with his kids ( my half siblings) knowing he (birth father) did not want me to do this for a few years?
2007-03-20 03:53:21 · 6 answers · asked by tammyshari 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would tell your birth father exactly how you feel about it. and tell him that you do have the right to meet your siblings. now. good luck.
2007-03-20 03:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probable that your birthfather does not want to look bad in front of his teenage kids. You know how teenagers can only see in extreme sometimes. This is a whole side of him they don't know (the father who walked out on his family) and I'm guessing he'd rather they didn't find out about it until they are all over 18 at least. If you want to make this work between you and your new family them perhaps you should wait another two years. Tell him that you will be back in touch but that you hope he will have been able to tell your half-siblings about you before then. That way he knows you will be back so he has the choice and opportunity to prepare his family for the day you show up again. Two years is not such a long time when you consider what is at stake. Good luck.
2007-03-21 23:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by irisheyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it is reasonable that he doesnt want 2 upset or confuse the younger of your siblings, but 16 isnt really that young and they shud b mature enough 2 take this on. i personally dnt think that this will cause any problems with his family, but he is obviously worried and is doin wot he thinks is rite. i dnt think u shud contact them off ur own back as this cud cause more problems, they mite not appreciate u goin behind their fathers back an ur father deficately wnt. i kno u really want 2 meet ur family bt u shud respect ur fathers wishes. meet up wi ur father an have a long serious discussion about this, let him kno how much u really wanna meet this half of ur family.
gud luck x
2007-03-20 04:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by debs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey i never met my dad till i was 36 either, that was 7 years ago.... but he didn't leave me, (SHE) being the egg donor dumped him because she fancied his mate, that went pear shape when the friend didn't want to know her, so she was left with no one, until married this nasty contol freak who has a horrible family, fortunately, he is not here any more he passed away years ago, so that got rid of his warped family too....now our family is free of all that crap we were put through for years....thats besides the point though......
i contacted my real dad and i too have sibs aged between 25/35, we all get on great, in your case i think he's just trying to protect his kids from being hurt and confused, but you do have the rights to meet them, and he should tell them soon, after all they are your half sibs, talk with him and tell him what you wrote in here, tell him you feel cheated and tell him how this makes you feel...it's only right that he should tell them about you, because imagine if they found out by someone else.....good luck hun, i do know how you feel and i sympathise with you....take care...x
2007-03-20 04:03:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing u can do is write a letter to your birth farther. explaining how you feel, you have the right to know your siblings,and you never know whats around the corner what happens if something terrible happens and you never meet one of them or all of them or if they dont get to meet you before its to late.this is the fact of life get to know them now before its to late,good luck and i hope all turns out good
2007-03-21 02:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by lady z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sound like an idiot to me i would stay away, its his loss. he didnt want you then why should he want you now? move on
2007-03-20 04:00:27 · answer #6 · answered by Tony T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋