Question for new moms?

Question

I'm concerned about getting pregnant after I deliver our first child. I plan to breasfteed but I know that I will also pump and that decreases the effectiveness. I've tried to bring up our many options with my husband but he ends up feeling like he is something I have to be protected from and the communication breaks down. Any ideas on how I can talk to him, or should I just discuss it with the doctor?

My husband and I do go to all the appointments together and I plan to bring this up at the next one. I want him to hear from the doctor how important it is, maybe then he won't feel like I'm trying to shield myself from him!

Answer 1

Don't rely on nursing as birth control. A LOT of women (two of my friends in particular) got pregnant while nursing. You need to be in control of your own body. I went on the minipill. Your doctor will know exactly what you want when you talk to her about it. But, understand that you MUST take it at the same time every day and not skip any or else it loses its effectiveness.

Depending on how the communication breaks down might determine your approach to your hubby. Sounds like he might be feeling like birth control options are just another way of him feeling out of the loop when it comes to the pregnancy and baby. He may not fully understand how intense an experience it is to be pregnant, especially pregnant after just having a baby. The second one could be a lot harder on you if you get pregnant soon after childbirth. My friend just had her fourth: they are 6, 4, 18 months and newborn. I was with her throughout her third and fourth pregnancies and saw what havoc the fourth wreaked on her body -- physically, emotionally, psychologically. I wouldn't want to do it that close together. You're not "protecting" yourself from HIM. You're ensuring your physical and mental strength which in turn leads to your husband's mental strength and your child's happiness. A pregnancy too early any time is not a good stress reducer.

You love your hubby, you guys surely have talked about how many children you want. Just explain to him that it would be better for you physically if you don't have to worry about another pregnancy soon after the baby is born. That's also a lot of stress and sleepless nights he won't have to worry about. Just explain that it's a temporary option and it will give you time to be with the baby and give him or her some alone time before your family grows. Then ask your doc about the mini pill. I hope this gives you an option. Good luck!

Answer 2

You want to keep the lines of communication open with your husband, but also get an answer to your concern. I nursed both of my children and pumped as well. I was offered the Progeterone-only pill (POP) which does not affect your milk supply as the regular birth control pill does. Ask the doctor about it.
Communication is key in a relationship. Just mention to your husband that you want to keep your intimate life going, but don't want to get pregnant and have 2 babies in diapers that are only 10 months apart.
Best of luck with your new baby. Keep in mind that a baby changes your life in so many ways. Hope that the baby will help with your husband's communication problems.

Answer 3

you can definately and easily get pregnant while breastfeeding. I had 3 babies in 3 years and after my third i told my husband to BACK OFF because i was terrified to get pregnant again, but men whine and even though we used a condom baby number 4 arrived! Men can be insensitive, go on the pill, do whatever YOU want. FYI, my husband is getting a vasectomy next month, it was either that or he was gonna get real lonely!!

Answer 4

It is very important to do something before its too late
Some of my friends get pregnant even if they still breastfeeding.
And it really wise to wait for 2-3 or more years.
Not only for you but for your first born

Explain to your husband that it's very important for everybody, choose a rigth time, when he is not tired or hungry or stress from work.
If he doesnt want to do something with birthcontrol, you can do it (pill, IUD, patch) etc
Make him agree that you will go to the doctor and use that birthcontrol, so you can do it in peace.

Answer 5

I think you should go to your doctors with your husband. This way you can talk to him and your doctor to find out everything and all the information at the same time. Also you or your husband can ask any questions you have for your doctor. Good Luck and Thank you for breastfeeding or at least thinking about!

Answer 6

Just make sure he knows that your not trying to attack him, since your going to breast feed your options are limited. You can't use birth control that have hormones in it, so the best thing that you can use is a condom or a female condom. Just tell him its really not that big of a deal, all you want to do is be careful, and in no way is that attacking him. Men do that sadly.

Answer 7

Well, unless you are intending to use birth control behind his back, I think it's something you both need to discuss. Does he want you to get pregnant right away? If not, how does he suggest that you prevent it? If so, is he aware of the emotional and physical demands that places on you?

Answer 8

Breastfeeding and Fertility
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

Exclusive breastfeeding (by itself) is 98-99.5% effective in preventing pregnancy as long as *ALL* of the following conditions are met:

- Your baby is less than six months old
- Your menstrual periods have not yet returned
- Baby is breastfeeding on cue (both day & night), and gets nothing but breastmilk or only token amounts of other foods.

Birth Control and Breastfeeding
http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/birthcontrol.html

Answer 9

Talk to your Dr most men and I hate to say this will always try to make it out like we are saying they are the bad guy. Mine is like that too and it pisses me off to no end I tell him "yep keep being the victim your good at it"

Answer 10

u should try both in the same room that way u can hear both sides to ur problem to reach that one solution