They both want credit for taking care of me, but I was in foster care since infancy, & the birth mom didn't raise me. The foster mom took care of me, but the state PAID her to do that. Otherwise, she wouldn't have taken care of strange babies for free. THE STATE OF LOUISIANA was our guardian & my twin sister & I were a ward of the courts (state). So, how can my foster mom say, "I've been taking care of you for 18 years!" & the biological mom says that she, herself took care of me because her Social Security beneficiary check was child support. NOT! The STATE took care of us.
& the foster mom says, "I should've left y'all nasty, filthy, dirty babies where I found y'all!" & the birth mom says that she's smarter than ALL of her children. Well, I'm 23 with a college degree & birth mom started popping babies @ 13 & became granny @ age 29.
The foster mom stole my trust fund check from my dad & foster care check, & Social Security backpay check. I felt so betrayed.
2007-03-20 03:17:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They're probably holding a grudge against each other because you actually turned out better than the both of them. Now that you're grown and have a college degree, they probably both want to take credit for your good choices in life and reap the benefits that come out of it. I wouldn't worry about it too much. That's something between the two of them. Don't let their actions change who you are or how you think of them already.
2007-03-20 03:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can decide using your good reasoning skills who, if anyone, deserves any credit for your upbringing. Your foster mother did provide food, clothing, education, transportation, doctors, etc. She may have been paid by the State but normally what the State pays is not that much when you look at it as a 24/7 proposition plus all that is involved in caring for a child...feeding, clothing, bathing, helping educate, hopefully instilling some morals and values in the child. Your biological mother had you..any female capable of bearing children can do that. Just giving birth or having sex and creating a child (father example) does not make you a parent. Loving a child, caring about them and their welfare, giving them the best you can under the your circumstances are what makes a parent. You don't have to choose anyone but don't begrudge your foster mom because the State gave her money to raise you. Think about the things listed and answer your question honestly based on your own experience.
2007-03-20 03:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by curious74432 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a really hard situation. remember friend, though the state paid her, ur foster mother took care of u. atleast she gave u some care and attention which ur biological mother refused to give u. u know there are many others who do not even get that privilege. ofcourse, that doesnt entitle her to tamper with state funds.it is normal to feel betrayed if she really has pinched ur trust fund check. talk to her abt it. tell her that tampering with the state funds may get her into real trouble. meanwhle, plz dont bother abt the cat fight going on bw ur two moms. it is time for u to think abt ur life. u got a degree, which is really an excellent thing. not many children with such backgrounds have the inclination for studies, but u did it , friend. so get out of there, make ur life for urself. dotna llow ur two mothers to meddle in ur affiars. u have written many things abt ur two mothers.. next time a fight erupts, have the courage to fling these truths at their faces. move on with ur life. much more success awaits u in ur life. all the best
2007-03-20 03:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by lilac4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way your questions have been sounding, I have to be honest, I wouldn't WANT credit for you and can;t see why they fight over this.
As for that money she didn't STEAL it. Social security backpay goes to pay for the child's needs the same as the monthly checks. Same goes for foster care check. Those are to pay your DAILY/MONTHLY expenses, not to give to you to go blow on bubble gum or video games. As for the trust fund, that may or may not be the same thing. My will is set up so that the person we have appointed as guardian for our children does have access to their trust.
I suggest teh same as I did to you in the other post I answered, get out leave them ALL alone. You say you have a college degree, USE IT. But I also have to tell you, that degree will do you NO good if you don;t develop a different sort of intelligence and just get out of and ignore that situation.
2007-03-20 03:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Betsy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is sad that they both do not understand the privilege they had in raising such beautiful girls. Who ascended out of the murky clay of a life and worked very hard and made something great of themselves out of such heartache and dis-pear. I say, pat your self on the back and say well done. As for both of your "parents", I say, tell them thank you meaning, to your birth mother, thanks for taking time to give birth to you and for this only I thank you. As for your foster mother, I say, thank her for sharing her living space with you for the 18 years only because you did not have to be moved to different foster homes over the past 18 years, although she took all of your money consider it rent paid in full for the used space and for this only you are thankful. They both served a purpose in your life which helped mold you into the great young lady that you have become this day. I say rejoice and be exceedingly glad that a star was born. Good luck !! and keep up the good works.
2007-03-20 03:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by mcgneedhelp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it seemed like you faced a difficult childhood, you seem to come out of it with a good head on your shoulders.
You seem to know that education is important for you to succeed.
Really, let them war it out and you go ahead and live your life to the fullest.
It seems that both of them may have some quilt about what they have done in the past.
Your life is a story, and you never know how your life can be an example or assistance to help someone else that may be going through what you went through.
I wish you the best...
2007-03-20 03:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am in the same boat. I have the same problem as you but it is with my biolagical mother and my fotster dad. I am not gaurdenshiped and I am not allowed to see my mom or dad or brother or sister. So what I do is ignore both of them and hope that they grow up and get over it. I am just a person who wants to be loved. I am a teenaged girl who is lost between two families.
2007-03-20 03:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by ~Cowgirl~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but your foster parent did raise you , at least you had a roof over your head, she fed you, clothed you, and did the best that she could. even though the state paid her for it. but it was wrong for her to have stolen your trust fund . and I don't blame you for being betrayed. I would have to. All I can say is move on, and don't look back, enjoy your life now. and if you have children enjoy them, let them fight it out and you just stay out of it. good luck. wish you nothing but the best.
2007-03-20 03:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
preserving a grudge against her is going to teach you in to the very element you hate maximum,yet another version of her.That being suggested she abused you and inspired your Dad to abuse you so this is going way deeper than you preserving a grudge.Abuse is a criminal offense and he or she desires to be became in to the government.one element you do not opt to do is hate her,i realize it is hard even although this is going to easily make you depressing and make you advise like her.that's obvious she has themes so by using you not preserving a grudge it will make you the bigger and extra useful individual and could make you in to a individual she ought to in no way be.one element you do in no way opt to do although is ask your self or others why she hates you like you sense it is your fault because of fact this is not your fault.some human beings regrettably are under pressure incorrect and he or she seems to be one in all them so the fault and the blame is on her.this is unhappy there are people who've babies that they don't take excitement in and appreciate.I as quickly as had a daughter who by using no fault of my own became on me and that i might provide merely approximately something to have a newborn that merely needs me to care approximately them,your mom does not see the advantages she has in you and your sister and that's certainly unhappy.in case you do not opt to touch government a minimum of see if staying with a relative who cares approximately you is an determination and that i say that because of fact companies which includes babies and childrens now and lower back place babies in a worse venture and plus you and your sister might get separated.Neither you or your sister deserve this so please get out of that homestead to someplace which you will get taken care of with the care which you deserve.
2016-11-27 00:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book smart has nothing to do with wisdom. You were in foster care, others spent their entire childhood in daycare the rest in school. Your mom is your mom...what does this have to do with your level of book learning - nothing. Good for you if you have obtained an education but I encourage you to ground yourself in wisdom before that's all you have left.
2007-03-20 03:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋