My family recieved horrible news this moring. My cousin had been killed in a car accident. My sister felt that she could still go to school. Upon her arrival, her classmates saw how upset she was. They questioned her, as teenage girls normally do. Upon hearing what had happened, one girl responded " Was he a Christian". Who would actually say that? Who would actually have the gall to suggest to a mourning family member that their loved one is going to Hell? I ask you, how is that in itself loving?
2007-03-20 03:17:26 · 46 answers · asked by Je veux changer le monde 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Forgive.. She's still young and knows nothing.. I'm Sorry for your cousin.. Be strong.. The poor teenager is probably influenced by media or radical parents.. C'est tres mal. I'm Sorry again and my condolences for you. Hell and heaven is subject to God's discreation and have nothing to do with our beliefs, I hope your cousin is in peace now. pray for him and for us all.
2007-03-20 03:30:52 · answer #1 · answered by Lawrence of Arabia 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I'm very sorry for your family's loss.
To answer your question, someone could only be so cruel not realizing the implications of their question and the feelings of your sister.
I don't know the whole story, but from what you wrote I would just like to say that perhaps the person asking the question "Was he a Christian?" might not have been implying that if he wasn't that he was going to hell. I see a leap here. "Was he a Christian?" could have simply been a question of curiosity of his faith and not necessarily a judgment of your cousin if he wasn't.
Still, whoever asked that needs more tact. If it was only a question of curiosity then it could have been asked at a more oppurtune time or in a less direct way like "May I ask what his faith was?"
You never know, that person in their thinking might have wanted to reassure your sister by saying something like "well, then he's in heaven" if the answer was "yes", but still it is a matter of tact and really not very sensitive to the reality of the loss of a loved one (unfortunately, some Christians use the idea of their loved one being in heaven to deny their pain about the human loss... in other words, they don't properly morn because they think they should be happy, which is kind of sad.).
Again, I'm sorry for your family's loss and I hope you can excuse whoever it was who needs more tact.
Please know your family is in my prayers and I pray for the peace of your cousin's soul (no judgement here... this is something I do even for someone known to be holy like John Paul II). Peace
2007-03-20 03:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I had an ex girlfriend with a very strict evangelical aunt and uncle.
The aunt was one of 4 kids. Tommy, Sue, the B-tch, and Dan. Tommy died one night in a car accident. No drunk driving, just bad weather... At the funeral, the B-tch felt it necessary to tell HER MOTHER and the rest of her family "oh, Tommy was a good brother, but he's gonna burn in hell!" The rest of the family pretended not to notice until they got home.
As far as I know, everyone is still on speaking terms in that family... although I don't know why.
2007-03-20 03:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by billthakat 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. All people, christians included, become absolutely stupid in the face of another's tragedy. I don't know why. Teenagers are sometimes the worst offenders because they have the least life experience. I don't think they really meant to be cruel, they were hoping to reassure themselves that the dead person was not in Hell. No, it's not a loving question. It's a stupid one.
2007-03-20 03:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 10⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't be so upset . She is only going on what she has been taught by her beliefs and parents.Right or wrong it was only a question,and I don't think she meant it in an unloving way,she just isn't seeing the whole light clearly.You can rest assure that your cousin is in the most free-loving,and peaceful place ever,and that's a fact!!! Sorry about your loss!
2007-03-20 03:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by Sidetracked0260 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have been asked that question when a friend of the family killed himself. The question is insensitive and downright rude.
Regardless of religious beliefs, the proper answer to heartbreaking news is "I am sorry. What can I do for you?"
That Christian, I am sure, meant well, but she very sadly fell short of a wonderful opportunity to be a positive advocate of her faith.
I am sorry your sister fell victim to such clunky condolences.
2007-03-20 03:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Teenagers can be cruel. After my brother passing away I went back to school-girls asked me what happened, after telling them, one girls says "you don't seem real sad about it". I couldn't believe that.
I am sorry someone said that to your sister. When you do hear of someone dying, your first response (if you believe in Heaven and Hell) is "did they know God". I do it. I don't come out and ask someone, but I always wonder.
2007-03-20 03:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by AJM 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My sympathies to you and your family.
I have often heard of Christian adults who react in the same way as those teenagers: "Did she know the Lord?" "No? That's too bad; if only she believed, she would be in heaven now."
People are thoughtless at times, and often at the most difficult, inappropriate times. As far as I am concerned, it boils down to taunting someone when they are going through personal agony.
I hope the coming days will not be too difficult for you and yours.
2007-03-20 03:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by SB 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. It is disturbing that someone would actually be so bold as to say that to your sister ( especially at this time). It was a very insensitive remark, and quite frankly, not comforting at all (despite his religious standing). Take comfort in knowing that we all go Home in the end, and that it was his time. You cannot know the impact of this tragic event on your family and on his friends. God Bless you and yours at this time and always.
2007-03-20 03:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by The Pope 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This only shows the conditioning done by religious bigots. The young teenage questioner is obviously brought up with certain beliefs and thinks in absolute terms. No, the poor child is not being heartless but concerned in all innocence. You should be angry with religious heads spreading such beliefs.
2007-03-20 03:30:25 · answer #10 · answered by P'quaint! 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am sure the question did not intend to hurt, people sometimes say things without thinking of the effect the question may have at the time.The girl was just hoping that he was a believer as they hate to think of anyone going to hell even if they don't know them.
2007-03-20 03:26:00 · answer #11 · answered by James B 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋