I have been with my bf for 2.5 months(i'm 20, hes24)When we first met i knew he really liked me and he started calling me all the time.We hung out quite a bit at first,about 4 times a week.he took me to meet his parents & friends in the first few weeks.evrything was going great,but now i barely see him,hes ALWAYS out with friends and he drinks quite often.we live about 30 min away,and only i have a car.he really opened up to me one nite and told me how his ex cheated on him(i can tell this really scarred him).The amt of time we spend togther has been really bothering me.I see him once a week and we are usually with his friends or his parents.I talked to him last nite abt this and he was being very understanding but said whenevr hes changed for a girl shes screwed him over,so hes scared to get hurt again.and then he said he just wants space!i barely see the guy!He kept telling me last nite how much he cares about me and that he really likes me. SO wats the problem?what should i do now?
2007-03-20 03:14:19 · 20 answers · asked by kimmy_717 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
trust ur heart
2007-03-20 03:17:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give him his space. He likes you but the thing is that he isn't about to be hurt again and I know that you don't intend on hurting him but thats not how he is thinking so what he is doing or trying to do is get you angry or upset enough so that you will dump him or leave him. Don't fall for it. Assure him that you want to be in his life and that you are going to be there for him that is if thats how you feel about him. A person who has been hurt time after time learns not to trust anyone or open his\her heart up to anyone and its sad because you could be just the woman he needs in his life but he has a brick wall up and doens't look like he will take it down anytime soon either. If you like him then stay by his side and continue to be there for him and just let him know that you aren't going anywhere. He needs to know that he can trust you with his heart and all these things that he is doing is just a test to see how far he can push you before you leave him too. Sounds crazy but people do crazy things when they have been hurt. If you really like him then be patient and trust your heart. God Bless
2007-03-20 10:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if what he says is true, then i think u may give hima little time to cool his head. but meanwhile, dont just wait for him to come back. tell him, that u too care very much abt him and will always remain faithful to him. have a real chat with him. tell him that staying away from u is only going to marr ur relationship and that these rare meetings make u feel estranged from him. also, try to make him understand u too expect from him the same commitment which he expects from you. after all love cannot be a one way traffic. u r not asking him to change for u, but to find some time to spend together. calmly but firmly make urself understood. tell him how much hurt u r by this aloof behaviour from his part. i am sure he will understand u. just give him a little time, but always know where to draw the limit. all the best tou .
2007-03-20 10:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by lilac4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to tell you what I tell everyone woman with a relationship issue like this. Go to the library or a book store and get the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Bernhardt. It will change the way you look at relationships and the excuses that you make for men.
Now, I can understand him being worried about being screwed over and all, but he needs to realize that you are not his ex and if he is not going to accept that and let you be close to him, he is not worth your time. It just means that he is not ready to be in a relationship.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 10:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy some space. My bf and I went through something similar. It's gonna be hard but its best. If he can see that your not hovering or being pushy or annoying then he will put more effort in. If he really likes you as much as you say he does then he won't let you get away. Sit low for a few days then call him up(unless he calls you first) and see if he wants to hang out/go on a date. Just don't stress to much about it or nagg him about the whole thing, it will just push him away.
2007-03-20 10:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by barbiebabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that he got hurt (actually his ego got hurt) by the fact that his ex was cheating on me...and now he is probably thinking a way to take revenge or he is just thinking of his ex and wondering why she did that to him...etc.
So you should talk to him and make him understand that his attitude annoys you....if he really cares about you and likes you (as he says) he must stop thinking his ex. His ex is past and you are present....so tell him that if he wants to be with you he must forget his past and take care of his present...!!
2007-03-20 10:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can say I understand this is your reason for needing space, but this relationship is not all about you and your needs, what about mine? I really miss you and just want to be with you. I miss our intimacy and closeness one on one.
Is there something wrong with that? I mean I'm just being honest about my feelings. If I bottle them up they'll end up blowing out in some other way and I don't want that. I feel it is best to be honest as I see things before it gets too estranged, or before we get too estranged.
2007-03-20 10:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by sassinya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he likes you but he is scared. If you really care about him than work through this with him and be patient, he just needs time. If you stick around and show him you care back than maybe he will be able to slowly move in closer. FYI: If he takes advantage and things never change than move on. But first give it time!!! GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-20 10:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by Casey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must trust your heart and your feelings towards this guy. If you love him then try to your best ability to work it out with him. Try going to a quiet place (away from his friends and parents) and talk to him about the situation. Try getting him to explain why he needs space, and above all just be there for him and love him with all you've got.
2007-03-20 10:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by Oaks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take your time in dealing with this matter. Just give him a little space. If he truly cares for you he will come back. You have to make him trust you. It's just trust he needs.
2007-03-20 10:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by arabs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of us have been 'betrayed' by our significant other; we don't blame the whole female gender because of one -- or more -- unfaithful women. This guy sounds pretty immature to me. I think you should let him think about it for a while; if his feelings for you are sincere, he should decide if he wants to take the chance of losing you. Meanwhile, you sound like a decent woman. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
Blessings to you.
2007-03-20 10:24:48 · answer #11 · answered by guitarjas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋