What happens if the reason that he fell out of love with you because you weren't yourself or the person he did fall in love with in the first place. I wasn't myself for the last year (we were living together this year) of a 3 year relationship because of me being scared of losing him. I did extreme measures to make him happy, like being available to him all the time, letting him do what he wants avoiding any serious conflict (basicly losing my independence and identity). The reason why i did this was because he had committment issues in the past with me which made me think that if did everything to make him happy i won't lose him, but then he dumps me teliing me that he wasn't happy in the last couple of months and doesn't feel the same way by doesn't know why. I still love him and I regret in what I have done (in my case in losing myself first and then second, losing him)
2007-03-20 02:41:50 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's been 3 months ever since we broke up, i have not made any contact with him, I have boosted my self esteem and independence, i travelled arond europe I moved in with my best girlfriend, started a new job, and i started dating, i feel happy about myself, but i still love him, these feelings haven't changed, i still desire him
2007-03-20 02:42:31 · update #1
Well you could start by telling him what you've just said here.
You were not yourself, you lived in fear because of past relationship and because of this, you completely lost yourself.
The time apart from him did you good. You have gotten back to you, all the while you having realized that you didn't give of yourself in the relationship and would really like to give it another shot if he's willing and understanding of it.
Tell him you love him and miss him, but that it's not because of don't know what you have until it's gone.... it's because you had to do some work within yourself.
If he accepts you back, great!
If not, then it wasn't meant to be, but learned from and move on knowing that you have to be yourself with the next man that comes into your life.
2007-03-20 02:49:42 · answer #1 · answered by sassinya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that it was your fault just because you went overboard showing him how much he meant to you. I commend you for moving on and doing things for "you". It probably will take some time to lose the feelings you have for him but if he really wanted to be with you then he would have made every attempt to get back with you.
We all have problems and many times we can at times not be ourselves but unless we are abusing someone or doing drugs or drinking heavily or partying like crazy things can be worked out if both parties are willing to do so. Sounds like he wasn't willing just based on him not knowing why he wasn't happy anymore.
Someone new will come along and you will forget all about this guy.
2007-03-20 09:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings may not have changed but his feelings are no longer the same for you.
My personal view just tells me that a guy who really loves you will be by your side through the tough times and tries to understand why you are acting that way. Clearly, that guy didn't stand by you when you were feeling insecured.
My bf broke up with me because of similar situation. We were together for 1 year plus. I realised that if he can fall out of love with me just because of a few bad months then he isn't worth all that much afterall.
Now that you have regained confidence in yourself, get to know more guys. :)
2007-03-20 09:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He uses you, he didn't love you you made everything to makes him happy and that's your reward, oh God, if i were close to you "your best friend" i'll help you get even over him actually i'm in the same situation like you i'm tryin to forget someone that dump me "to forget about him and what he did to me" anyway hope you'll feel better
2007-03-20 09:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by yurrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those feelings take more than 3 months to get over but it sound slike your doing good and remember next time just be yourself.good luck
2007-03-20 09:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on girl! If he were the one, you'd still be together.
2007-03-20 09:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Looking for the REAL answer! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋