Girls Only : Isn't he being unreasonable?

Question

My boyfriend of 18 months and I had a massive fight last night.He claims I always put him last and make him feel bad about himself and I couldn't agree less.Examples:
He was sick with the flu for 3 weeks and I didn't go see him but talked to him on the phone.What else was I supposed to do?If I went over there I could have caught it too.
He was in a car accident 3 months ago and ended up with a broken arm and leg and a concussion.He got mad at me because when I got the call from the hospital at like 7 am,I was sleeping off a night of partying and didn't go to see him until 6pm that day.Did he want me to drive over there half-asleep?He claims I put him down all the time in front our friends.I may talk about hooking up with other guys in front of him but it's all said in good fun and everyone but him takes it that way.He also keeps getting mad when I flirt with my ex.My ex and I are just like that.It's harmless fun and nothing more.
He's threatening to dump me if I don't change.

Answer 1

I will take him off your hands..u r unreasonable not him.

Answer 2

There are some points that I see that would make him feel like he's getting the short end of the sick. The flu is only contagious during the first week or so, so you could have seen him and just taken some extra Vitamin C. A car accident is a major deal. Rockstar energy drink would have given you enough time to check on him and see if he was okay, because you need to take into consideration that he might have died. Undermining him in front of your friend, albeit jokingly, can still hurt. Guys can view that as disrespect. And definitely keeping in contact with your ex, even when you're friends, is a no-no in a relationship. You just basically need to ask yourself, do you like him that much at all? And if you do, would you be find if he pulled the same crap with you?

Answer 3

I know you said girls only but I have to say something about this... Last think I would like from my g/f is to flirt and play with her ex. If you are so much of a friend with your ex why dont you stay with him... There is a reason why we call our ex partners "ex"... because we are not staying together anymore... I am not sure if you have ever cheated on him even with a kiss but I would not be surprised if you did... As for him being sick and you not going over his house that's is only because you are a very selfish person the same for the car accident story... If you ask me and I had a g/f for that long and she was sick for 3 weeks last thing I would think is getting sick for my self... I would've been there for her at least 3 times a week... It might be me but you would never last more than 2 months with me... :) good luck selfish ...

Answer 4

When i got in a car accident, the first person i called was my boyfriend. i had flipped my car over and i hit 2 other people. he just sat at his house after the phone call because he said he had to get ready for the day. He never came to help me. IF you are out partying rather than spending time with your man there is something wrong. Maybe you would rather be single? YOu wont have the responsibility of caring for someone and you can flirt with anyone you want. And the flu thing...you could have caught it if he coughed all over your face, or you kissed him other wises i dont see a reason why you didnt sit in a room with him and talk. I think he has every right to dump you.

This doesnt mean you are a bad person it just means that maybe you should rethink what you really want.

Answer 5

From what you have described, I think your boyfriend has a point. I understand being careful about not wanting to catch the flu, but all the other stuff doesn't sound very caring to me. Your boyfriend is in a car accident and it takes you almost 12 hours to go see him in the hospital? Tired from partying or hungover or whatever, I would be there for my boyfriend immediately. That had to make him feel less important if you couldn't get out of bed to see him and be there for him.

It's not cool to talk about your past hookups in front of him either, joking or not. Put yourself in his position, how would you feel if he did that to you? It's not very respectful. And I must say, the WORST is flirting with your ex. OMGosh! That is just THE most disrespectful, slap in the face to him I'm sure. No wonder he wants to dump you.

If you care at all about this man, STOP treating him like this. He obviously loves you, but he can only take so much. Wake up, grow up and act like an adult in a serious relationship.

Answer 6

Um I'm sorry but he got into an accident and you didnt see him until 6pm. I wouldve been so worried I would shot out of bed called a cab or have a friend or family member drive me there right away if I thought I was too tired. Though I would be so worried my heart would be racing and I doubt you could fall asleep then. I also think it's obnoxious to talk about "hooking up with other guys" if you're doing it all the time that would get old. I wouldnt want to hear my bf (now husband) talking about hooking up with other girls, what is the point of that other then to make him feel bad.

This prolly isnt what you want to hear, but from one woman to another, this behavior is not acceptable.

Answer 7

Well, girlfriend put the shoe on the other foot. It sounds as if you may need to take a break and see where he does fit on your list. If my man didn't come and see me for 3 weeks I would drop him--Like Now! You can get the flu at any local bar or store just by touching a door knob. As far as the car accident--you must have been really smashed not to be able to get to the hospital until 6 pm. Sounds like you just want to have fun--and there isn't anything wrong with that! Set him free--or should I say set yourself free. Take him up on his "threat" Good Luck!

Answer 8

this to me is passive aggressive abuse. He is trying to control you in every way and I think you are realizing it but just want to validate your feelings by asking us about it all. Yes, you are correct about it all...Just tell him off, make your own choices and decisions as you have been and start flirting for real maybe and get a new friend at least to hang out with and all, or b, bc if you do not, you will surely pay a steeper price than this misery you are going through right now, it only gets worse later on. It's you life, your responsibility and right to protect yourself and your self esteem.
you're on the right course I'd say (at least in your mind; go for it! )
have fun and live a little away from this passive aggressive abuser and see how it feels
Remember you said "I couldn't agree less" .... very strong words...
Be strong, stay strong and be woman! Do Not give in to this abuse and nonsense bc this IS what it is...
good luck

Answer 9

you should support your boyfriend. If you want to really keep him you would stop flirting with your ex. Stop doing things for him to get the impression that you don't respect him. If you were in love you wouldn't mind coming over taking care and catering to his every need, its just a flu.
If you really cared about him you would have rushed to his side, sleepy or not.
You need to dump him and let the next girl get him, cause your not doing a good job. Its obvious you don't care, so why stay?

Answer 10

Give him more attention. Maybe he is right. If my boyfriend had an accident I would run to the hospital really as faster as I could. It's good to keep friends and have fun but remember that your boyfriend should be the most important thing for you. Maybe he thinks that you don't care a lot. Let's change if you really wanna keep your relationship. I know it's hard...
Nobody is saying you're guilty, it happens.

Answer 11

Give the guy a break, if you did care about him then you would have gone to seen him when he had the flu, and gone straight to the hospital hangover or no hangover. To put the cherry on the top, why would you flirt with your ex and even talk about hooking up with other guys. that is not right. You might want to change your ways if you want this to last a whole lot longer.