As an Atheist........?

Question

Although I am an Atheist, before my husband and I had children, we decided that although we do not believe in any higher being, that we would make sure that our children had any/all religious instructions within their schooling years so they themselves could make their own decisions.. We have
4 children that are atheists as the questions they asked could never be answered. They tend to look inside themselves to find answers, not into any bible or religion. Do you agree that children are like a book of empty pages and we as parents should give them the choice as we did, and I am sure they will with their children, to fill those pages with opened mindedness and not what is being forced upon them. In other words if you are Catholic would you be so offended if your child picked Methodist religion or even to be an Atheist ?

Answer 1

My hubby and I have a similar situation. I'm atheist, and he is catholic. His one thing was that he wanted to get our kids baptized "just in case"...which I thought was kind of funny, but fine with me. Other than that we will let them choose their own path. We will answer any questions that they have and give both sides of the argument. I won't be offended regardless of the religion they end up choosing, as long as they choose it for themselves.

**Just for everyone here that says you need to take your kids to someone who "knows" all the right answers.....I went to a catholic school for many years between grade school and high school, and after that continued on my quest for knowledge regarding religion...I have to say the more questions I asked and the more I learned is what turned me away from religion and god in the first place. So telling your children what to believe isn't always the right way. Let them learn for themselves, and be there to answer any questions.

Answer 2

I think it is a very good idea to let your children choose their own religion. Everyone needs to think for themselves, so it's best to let the child come to their own decision reguarding religion.
In schools, they are always telling kids to think for themselves and not listen to everything they're told, but they're being hypoctites, because they usually want the child to be a certain religion.
I think many parents would be mad if their child chose a different religion. Even if the child is no longer young, their parent would still not be happy that they have chosen a different religion.
I am afraid that my mother will be angry if I tell her my true religion, so I always try to avoid direct questions about it.
It is good for the child to be taken to a church service at a catholic church once, but they should also be taken to other churches to see the differences, and temples, and other places of worship. They should be very well informed before they make their decision.
I am still trying to learn about religions, to see which one I should choose. I have other friends that don't know what religion they are. It is best to be as well informed as possible when it comes to religions and what you choose, because it can be a major part of your life, or a minor part. It all depends on what you choose.

Answer 3

I am Lds, but my mom isn't active at all, I could have been catholic, but she thought the Lds church was more suitable. she kept us in the church because she wanted us to become a good person, she liked the values they taught, etc. She also wanted me to be independent and think for my self. I have never had any problem with drugs or sex because of the church. I am now a happy teen!
I think it is good that you let them choose their religion, but i really do think they need some. Religion can help them be better people, and influences them to make right choices. I had all my questions answered.

Answer 4

I am in a very similar boat, with 4 boys. My parents are very religious but I have moved on. I try to position differing religions as belief systems, neither right or wrong, so that they will be able to pick for themselves. My parents, of course, try like hell to indoctrinate the kids every time they go over to Grandma's house, but nothing has stuck thus far. If my kids choose to follow a religion, I won't have a problem with it, as long as they are respectful and logical about it.

Answer 5

My daughter lives with her mother in another country. I have effectively nothing to do with her yet. I'm sure when she is older though I might see more of her.... and then I will have my chance to influence her the right way.


I mean... the kind of influencing I would give to a child would likely be far too confusing for a younger child. I tried it on my youngest brother and I'm sure he didn't get it.
I quite rightly tell them: "Don't believe anything anyone tells you at face value... not even this. Doubt everything. Believe nothing. Go through life as though things 'might' be true but probably aren't. Only that way will you learn to work things out for yourself."
On the other hand, Piers (my youngest brother) did seem to understand when I told him to treat christians and americans like ignorant scum until they proved themselves otherwise. Since he is gifted with Asperger's Syndrome like me, he shouldn't have any difficulty doing that (I had to learn it the hard way).


I can tell I'll have a lot of work to do when I next see my daughter. Her mother is pagan... and her step-father was originally brought up a fundie christian (though he has been taught to doubt, to some extent).

Answer 6

I agree with you. I had Catholicism shoved down my throat for most of my life and later converted to Buddhism as an adult. I am not giving my children anykind of religious "insruction" per se, but am letting them be "exposed" to various religions. My sister is Wiccan, my Mom is Catholic, my husband is agnostic and I am Buddhist (which is considered an atheistic religion). I think children need to be given that freedom, and I will not be offended if my children choose to believe, as long as they do not try to force their beliefs on me or anyone else.

Answer 7

I agree with you that things shouldn't be forced upon them, but I also think that it is best to explain to them your reasons for deciding the matter. I think that because religion is a difficult subject to talk about, it is perhaps giving them too much choice, or perhaps no choice at all. I mean, you would at least tell them what you think about underage drinking, sex, drugs, even if you are for it or did it when you were young, you can at least pass on your wisdom to them. After that, then I think it's a great idea to let them make their own decisions.

Answer 8

I'm going to do the exact same thing with my kids.

One of my good friends has two atheists as parents, and they had no problem with letting him learn about all of the religions out there and deciding on his own.
These kids tend to be much more educated about religion in general than people who are actually brought up in religious households.

Answer 9

I think that you need to give your children the choice as you did, however, you need to recognize your choice of aethism undoubtedly influences your children, intentionally or not, just by the lack of any religion around them ie: no crosses on the walls, no prayer rug or call to prayers, no attendence to the temple, no celebration of the sacred days etc. this is not a criticism, you should raise your children as you see fit, but you also should not deny your influence on this choice. Unanswered questions don't always mean a dead end.

Answer 10

I'm just curious, and this might be better for an e-mail...

what sort of questions could never be answered?

personally I am not christian, but I do not think that they are "empty pages" as such. I was not indoctrinated with my beleifs like many christian children are, (my religious education was about language and history and holidays and stuff. not what to believe.)

if it means anything to you, I never had to be told what God was or to believe in God.
I did have to be told what the *word* god meant though.

but I don't believe in God as alot of people to do begin with... lol.