My friend who is more like a sister to me was in a relationship where she was treated very very badly (he cheated on her, disrespected her and spoke a lot of **** about him). She started over with a new relationship with a guy who i introduced her too.... she ended up cheating on him with the ex. I never ever supported her with the ex cause the way he behaved with her. Today she is with the ex once again and im scared for her. However she feels he has changed and tells me stuff like its all perfect and to the extend that their families have even met and agreed to a wedding. the only problem is that she doesnt want anybody else to know and gives me a reason that it may get jinxed again. She is trying to hide it even though its so perfect according to her. What do i believe? is it really true??
2007-03-20 01:32:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a Friend in just the same position....how weired! Anyhow I have just come to the conclusion that well she is a mate and I am here for when it goes wrong AGAIN! The rest I let her get on with it, for some reason she goes back to the EX they play happy families he cheats kicks her out she ends up in pieces, I help her through it. She goes back, he tells her it changed....! There life's, all I can do is be a Friend. Point to all this is don't worry about it. Be there for your Friend, and let her make her own desions.
2007-03-20 02:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea of her rekindled relationship becoming "jinxed" if other people find out about it is a load of crock. Basicly she knows this relationship is balancing on the edge of a knife and already it could split in two at any point or just fall apart.
It would indeed be best if it were to end, but until then, the best you can do is just be there for her. You dont have to show support for what you do not beleiv eis right, but atleast be there as her friend incase something should go wrong. You know what's likely to come of this relationship and now it's up to you whether you want to be there for her when she falls.
2007-03-20 01:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brad C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but you really can't interfere here. You have to let your friend do whatever she has to do. Maybe this guy has changed, it's doubtful but possible. Just support her and be there for her if she needs to talk, IF she asks for your advice then give it, but don't push your opinions on her too much. Only she can make the decision to be with this man, and it sounds like she's made that already, If it;s the wrong decision then she must deal with the consequences.
I had a friend who was with a real loser for years, I told her how I felt about him but left it at that. He beat her cheated on her among countless other things and she kept going back every time. She has two children with him now, but they are no longer together so she struggles alone. It would have done no good me banging on to her to leave him, people can say whatever they want but only the two people involved can decide how to live their lives.
keep your distance but, be around to lend an ear or a shoulder.
2007-03-20 01:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this - but its none of your business. You need to not interfer. Sorry.
You cant stop her from being with someone. If she is being treated badly then I hope to god that she wouldn't of gone back - but she obviously believes he has changed and sometimes you need to give people benefit of the doubt.
How about you tell her that although your worried about her and how things will turn out you will always be there for her, and if she ever needs you to talk to, or help her then you will be just a phone call away - she then knows she always has her friend there if she needs her.
Dont fall out with her over it - or you might find that if something happens in the future - she might feel she cant call you and admit you were right or ask for help.
good luck
x
2007-03-20 02:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally a leopard 'rarely' changes its spots. It sounds like your g/f will be needing you real soon, once the 'honeymoon' period has slipped away.
I stayed in a really abusive relationship for 19 years, I know to my cost that no matter what promises are made etc they are never kept.
Personally if I were you, I would try to support her now BEFORE she really needs it, by simply showing her that you ARE happy that she has managed to work things out with this man. She needs someone to tell her its ok to have hope.
You sound like a really good friend to have.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-20 01:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a hypocrite, loser who will get hurt and is also happy to hurt other people....
I would let her make her own mistakes...once you partner has cheated on you how can you ever look them in the face again...let alone sleep with them...the trust has gone...
She can only be desparate I would say......
The two of them seem to deserve each other...the marriage will last about 6 months......but if you intervene she will hate you forever.......people only seek advice when they want it....she knows what you will say and therefore won't ask....
2007-03-20 03:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by Robbo31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably trying to convince herself its all changed. But honestly sometimes all you can do for a friend is be there to pick up the pieces. Because they wont or cant listen to your advice when a guy is wrong for them you have to wait and be patient until this girl realizes he hasnt changed. A disrespectful, cheating guy who talks **** about her isnt gonna change-thats the real him who will make her life miserable. As for you just be there for her as much as you can thats all you can do.
2007-03-20 01:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it's not true and the thing is he is probably the one who wants to keep it quiet to make it easier for him to cheat again. your friend probably has no trust left and thats why she found it so easy to cheat on the person that you introduced her to.
you can not say anything to your friend and you probably just need to be there for her if it all goes wrong and it probably will do. if you get involved she will probably just resent you for getting in the way. just be a good friend and pick up the peices in the end or you just might end up ruining your friendship
2007-03-20 01:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by confused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not necessary to believe or disbelieve her. You have no say over her choices, even for marriage. Love and relationships are based on personal, inner feelings and judgments of character. You cant' decide for someone else, they can't decide for you.
You're a nice person, take care of your own relationships and future, let her be.
2007-03-20 01:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by Peter V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur friend is a rather confused soul. shev doesnt know what she wants. if she does, she wouldnt be with her ex. as for u, try advicing her, because if you dont, your fears will sadly come through.
so try making her eyes open to the reality before her and stop fantacising.
2007-03-20 01:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by lilies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋