I met this guy around 9 months ago. We gelled and clicked right from the start we were like best friends as well as lovers while seeing each other. But i discovered over time that this guy was a classic commitment phobic. Even when he spoke about his ex's saying that they were all too needy etc but I actually think it was him with the problem, as he is very immature and erratic for his age 28!!. during the space of time we were together he wasn't sure if he wanted any proper commitments right now, so we decided to leave it at that & just be friends. I am movin on as we are on 2 different levels right? I don't ever call him! He still calls me after 2 months. He called me a few days ago telling me that he does miss me & my company, someone to liase & laugh with, but still isn't saying anything about a proper relationship! I'm sorry but he doesn't know what he wants right now with me & alot of other things in his life. Am I RIGHT TO CUT HIM OFF I HAVE CHANGED MY NUMBER?
2007-03-20 01:26:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The thing about this guy is that he just doesn't want to grow up with alot of things its not just me. He has a good job and is skint in 2 weeks!! he is unrepsonsible. He has an 8 year old daughter that he sees like once a month. He is very immature for his age. Obviously to enable me to move on and find someone else I need to cut him off completely so that he can't try and stand in the way and talk crap when i start seeing someone else!!
2007-03-20 01:29:01 · update #1
thats an idiot, not a deadbeat. deadbeats are parents who dont pay child support.
personally, you couldnt pay me enough to have such a clingy mama's boy in a relationship. if you did, he would end up being controling (from the clingy thing), not be much of a partner, a terrible parent, and expect you to handle all the problems.
your right, you ARE on two different levels.
your doing great by standing your ground and move'n on.
2007-03-20 02:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the smart thing! Obviously, he can't or won't give you what you need to stay around which is a committed relationship. I don't blame you after 9 months together. He had time to get to know you and to decide what he wanted to do. He must be committment phobic. Changing your number is good. That way you can get him out of your life and out of your mind and move forward. He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. One day he is going to be sorry that he didn't have a closer relationship with his child also. Good luck to you!
2007-03-20 01:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i find in my own experiences. that it is so much easier to just cut it off. and nothing helps you forget that other person, like dating someone else.
i once dated this guy and we were together for about a year and a half.
almost the entire time we dated all he talked about was this girl he really liked, but never got with.. i thought that i loved him, and got really discouraged all the time by the way he talked and acted..
well to make a long story short. we broke it off for a while (mostly his decision) and i started going on dates with another man. well first guy then woke up and realized that maybe he had something to lose. wanted back w/me. well, we gave it another try, and it was right back to the way it was...
found out later that the next girl he dated, he did the same thing to.. except it was me that he couldn't get off of his mind.
i say if you are with someone a significant amount of time, and they have no idea of what they want you are just wasting your time as well as their time.
so no baby, you did the right thing.
sounds like he wants the privelage of having someone, but not the work that goes into it.
good luck, you know what is the right thing to do. so just do it.
2007-03-20 01:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES. You are right to cut him off and change your number however I don't understand why you mentioned again him not saying anything about a proper relationship.
You already wrote your answer: he is immature and erratic.
Are you asking this question because you hope somehow he may grow up all of a sudden?
Don't go with what you hope...go with what you know. :)
2007-03-20 01:45:36 · answer #4 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh please. The very activity that attracted you is now boring you. No such thign as two different levels. You just projecting your anxiety and goals onto him. You can't tell him what a proper relationship is as much. Sounds like only issues need resolving is your need to dominate and control. You sound too intense and seem to have a problem with been relaxed. Try accepting people as they are not as you want to make them. Do you like it when people try make you into someone / something else?
2007-03-20 01:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by bright_neon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you want to take him for infant help. you should attempt this earlier your daughter receives older. My best buddy is going by a similar issue. Her youngster's father is likewise a useless beat dad, yet when he is going to be taking section in video games, he'd more beneficial useful be prepared to face the outcomes. that's about time to look the nice and cozy temperature. as well, your little lady might want to apply that money. in spite of if he tries to lead away from paying, it will be not straightforward on him. he will basically incur a baby help bill that he ought to pay on no count number the position he works. it receives closer him. you may't save your little lady faraway from him and his relatives, until eventually he's keen to signal his rights away. that's why I allow you to know you should position him on infant help. My different Aunt tried to get infant help at the same time as her son replaced into 16. They informed her it replaced into too overdue because she waited too lengthy. by ability of the time the paper artwork is going by, the youngster may have already been of age. They informed her that she must have filed at the same time as her son replaced right into a baby. positioned your emotions aside and imagine about your infant. that's problematical, yet you've were given to imagine about what your infant needs. My best buddy couldn't thank me adequate for helping her do not ignore that her youngster's father is going to be in her youngster's existence no count number what, so that you'll besides have some thing coming in on your infant's needs and needs. -imagine about it. -sturdy success and God Bless.
2016-12-02 06:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by bulgarella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't understand how can he stand on your way of getting anything? is he your husband? re u marreid to him? do u live together? i presume not. so how can he stay on any way of yours? quit humoring yourself , if u can't find anyone better this is not his fault in any way. and by the way, i don't think he will be even slightly upset by u changing number. will he even notice that?
2007-03-20 01:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you already did. so now whats the problem? the only issue i see is your dwelling on him. either you want the drama or you dont. its up to you.
2007-03-20 01:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You figured him out. What's there to look forward to with this one?
2007-03-20 01:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No
2007-03-20 01:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by ebiyedinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋