am I exagerating?

Question

I feel very lost right now, last year, I had a mayor break down. Actually it's kind of been developing from the last 6 years. A bit more. But last year it was worse. I had memory lapses or gaps, don't know how to say it, when I lost my memory of what hapenned the last day, or week, specially of what have I done. I simply couldn't remember events of the month, etc. I started to reclude in my room and not wanting to go out or socialize at all. I also had ideas that ghost came to visit me, in the days in the nights, and some weid thing about a classmate of mine that was a wizard and came at night to visit me becuase his father told him to. I heard a few times conversations of women that weren't there, and screams, very loud screams, that I knew where from inside my head. I just let time pass and became better. Now I'm having some problems again. I believe that anyone can have problems of this sort, nobody is perfect, and who knows where normality reachs?

I was talking to someone over the internet that was a doctor, and the person became all psycho obsessed about me (on a lapse of a month or so) until it finally concluded that I was some sort of schizophrenic. It said that I will get worse and end up in a mental hospital by 25. I know this is not true, how a doctor can think like this? It also added: "You are creeping me out"
I don't want to go to a psicologist, what if he reats like this? What if I can't study medicine how I always wanted? My only main problem now is this force that makes me nt want to do anything and my lack of memory. I now I can overome it. What could I do to help my memory?
And by the way, shrinks are so expensive.

Answer 1

Actually I would not conclude schizophrenia based on the information in your post, but some of what you describe would make me suspect a Dissociative Disorder, the hallmark of which is time loss as you described. Also characteristic is the experience of voices coming from inside your head. These experiences are often episodic and may alternate with periods of relatively normal functioning.

Here is a brief description of symptoms associated with Dissociative Identity Disorder for you to examine and see if you recognize other aspects. I am not suggesting that you necessarily have this as it would be impossible to make a diagnosis based on the information provided, but thought it might be helpful to you. It is often misdiagnosed and labelled as schizophrenia due to a lack of careful assessment and lack of experience among practitioners, particularly psychiatrists who tend to assume all psychotic symptoms require medication. If you have a trauma history and have been under stress when these symptoms you experience surface, and you recognize any of the following symptoms, I would suggest that you seek an evaluation from either a clinical social worker or a psychologist who has experience working with trauma survivors in order to avoid misdiagnosis.

Here's a description:
DID (MPD)

DID is the existence of two or more separate personalities or personality states within one person, with each alter having distinctly different ways of thinking, feeling, behaving and relating to the world and distinctly different memories, each part having amnesia for the other parts' memories. It is born from repeated and severe abuse and involves the defense mechanism of dissociation and generally develops before the age of 10 as children are far more likely to dissociate.
DID is often misdiagnosed and it is very common for a person to have had multiple different psychiatric diagnoses before it is definitively identified as DID. The symptoms frequently overlap with symptoms of schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety Disorders (all), PTSD, other Dissociative Disorders and Somatoform Disorders as well as Borderline Personality. It requires extremely careful assessment and a high level of trust by the patient before alters reveal themselves. The diagnosis cannot be finalized before a therapist has actually made contact with another alter and observed the switch between alters.
The hallmark symptom is amnesia, which can be partial or complete depending on the level of co-consciousness that exists between alters. Folks with the disorder describe the amnesia as "missing time" or blank periods, often daily or weekly, where they cannot account for their whereabouts or behavior. It is this amnesic barrier between parts that often leads to the most bizarre and distinctive signs and symptoms: not recognizing familiar people; not remembering highly significant events in their lives (like the birth of their first child, for example); finding purchases or articles of clothing/possessions, writings or drawings that they have no recollection of having bought or created. They are frequently accused of lying because they disavow their own behavior which is remembered by one part, while the amnestic part is completely unaware of it. Other unusual symptoms include: an exceptionally high tolerance for physical pain (they split off physical sensation which becomes encapsulated in one or several alters without others feeling it); not recognizing themselves in a mirror; using different names; having dramatically different skills and abilities that seem to be alternately present and then vanish (one alter may be able to drive a car while the sudden emergence of a child alter results in complete loss of this ability until the adult alter re-emerges); completely different opinions and behaviors (leading to the mislabelling of Bipolar or Borderline Personality.
Often communication between separate alters takes place in the form of hearing voices, hence these folks frequently get misdiagnosed as schizophrenic. The key distinction here is whether the voices are experienced as coming from inside the person's head (DID) or outside one's head (Schizophrenia/Bipolar Disorder).
The separate identities develop in response to traumatic experiences which the child is unable to integrate and so they become "split off" from awareness and begin to take on a life of their own.
Folks with DID often self-injure, frequently a result of internal battles between persecutor alters and weaker alters and there are continual battles for control of the body and "time out" in the body between competing alters.
Symptoms of depression and anxiety are frequent and common and the picture is further complicated by the fact that one alter can meet all clinical criteria for Depression, while another part experiences no symptoms whatsoever. One part can be psychotic and experience no side effects from meds while another non-psychotic part has all the side effects and will stop taking meds.You can imagine that attempting to medicate such a disorder becomes an absolute nightmare.
Other symptoms include flashbacks and nightmares, hence the confusion with PTSD. Sometimes there are fugue states and clients will switch and "come to" in the body and have no idea how they arrived in the situation they are in, not know the people they are with and be completely disoriented. I had one client call me from another state after being away for a few days and having no idea how she got there or how to get home. Depersonalization and trance states are common and hence the overlap with other Dissociative disorders.
Folks with DID frequently experience multiple somatic symptoms for which there is no organic basis. They experience partial body memories of abuse without the actual memory of the event and thus exhibit strange physiological symptoms and are often labelled as Somatoform disorders or hypochondriacs.
I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that virtually any symptom of any disorder can be found at some point in a person with DID. Treatment is almost exclusively through psychotherapy as medication is merely palliative and an adjunct during periods of acute anxiety or depression. Treatment aims at initially contracting against suicidal and self-destructive behavior and attempts to establish safety first. Many DID folks enter treatment in horrendous circumstances where they are frequently in highly abusive relationships or are themselves abusive. Given the multiple alters, they may be both victim and perpetrator both within themselves alone and in the context of their relationships. The second primary goal is establishing communication and negotiation among alters to decrease amnesia and contradictory, self-defeating behavior. Ultimately the goal becomes integration of alters into one cohesive whole which involves sharing of memories and feelings across alters and a merging, where all parts continue to be present, but constant.

Good luck to you and please seek a professional evaluation. Don't be deterred by someone who was attempting to diagnose you online without adequate knowledge or skill. No qualified professional would give a prognosis like what you described you were told.

Answer 2

Hon, the symptoms you describe sound very much like schizophrenia. I'm no expert at all, but I'm pretty sure that the voices in particular can be treated, and this should also benefit the other effects.

I know there are always lots of nasty stories about treatment for mental disturbances, but I doubt it's always that bad. Seems to me you need to get some serious medication before it all gets worse - which it might.

Maybe taking the proper medicine for a while will at least straighten things out enough for you to decide rationally what you want to do for the long term. Right now I imagine it's not easy to make clear decisions with all these other influences pushing you around.

You have my sympathy - it sounds awful, and nobody deserves this. Maybe someone who knows the subject better can give you specific details.

Good luck,

CD

Answer 3

There are I believe 2 aspects to your plight, firstly you may have a significant lack of nutrients (for your bodie's needs not anyone elses) in your brain. The halucinations are most probably a mixed up playback of previous stuff stored in your brain, otherwise you may have an evil spirit that is trying to possess you.
Fix brain chemistry, the following nutrients are required per day::
Sunflower seeds 1 tbsp (best:omega 6, Vit. E & Zn)
Flax Seed 1dsp ground(best omega 3 & fiber)
Vit. C 500mg 2X a day with food
Gingko biloba >60mg conc. extract.
Lecithin granules 1tbsp (natural detergent cleans out the debrios in veins & arteries, & is what our body uses for insulation sheath round nerves, -if deficient can get short circuits)
2 extra glases of water
Then get your heart rate up >100 & keep it up with any exercise for >30min >3X a week.
Finally Start going to a Church near you & get involved in helping others! Associate with the right people & evil spirits will leave you, otherwise the people you are associating with will get help to expell any remnant evil spirits.

Answer 4

You bought installed a foul spot but it surely used to be your peers fault. You will have to have informed him any other intent i suppose however then that might were a lie. I believe you probably did the proper factor so long as you did not inform your ex your peers title.

Answer 5

wow. i dont know what to tell you. wow.