anyone have any ideas how to get my daughter to go in her own bed?

Question

after my special needs brother died my sons told my daughter there was ghosts and monsters in her room, unfortunately he died in front of her while my wife was looking after him now it doesnt affect her apart from getting her into her own bed we dealt with it as a family by allowing all the children to ask questions and we sensitively answered them we also allowed the children to buy teddys and draw pics to put in his coffin with him we did not allow them to see him in the chapel of rest this would have been too much for them to cope with, our daughter spends every night in with us. we have tried everything from lots of different lamps to buying dream catchers and decorationg her room how she wants it.

my brother died nearly 2 years ago now when she was 41/2 we spoke to her school about some grief counselling as the receptionist was a trained childrens counsellor when she saw her she said that it was more the boys telling her about the monsters than my brother dieing. every night before bed she would wave up at the stars to her uncle in the sky before she went to sleep and enjoys doing this,

we have tried ready beds etc everything we have thought of we have tried she just wants to feel close to us she wont go into the kitchen if its dark on her own or any dark room for that matter.

Answer 1

I don't know how long ago this happened, but perhaps you should let her share your bed for a while? Obviously this can't go on indefinitely, but if she was my daughter I would be seeking counselling advice on how to deal with this situation, and making sure you are telling her the right things.

Answer 2

My son is 7 and he pulled this stuff too.
Here is what you do.
Get a fan for her bedroom (a small desk fan) the white noise of the fan will help her. Tell her that if any monsters try to get in the fan will blow them out.
2) Make sure the room is not "too dark" so you need a nightlight or something so if she does wake up she can see where she is.
3) Before she is going to bed, before brushing teeth and everything like that tell her you and your wife do not allow monster to sleep in her room and it is your house and if the ghost and monster want to live there that is fine but they have to sleep in the garage, driveway, backyard they are only allowed in the house if they follow the house rules. Make a big deal about going into her room and telling the monsters it is time to get ready for bed and they have to go into there sleeping spot because this is (your daughters room) and they have there own place (where ever you decided that place will be) Tell the monsters they can come back after there monster mothers give them breakfast. It takes about 20 mins for the whole production but, it works
Necessity is the mother of invention!

Answer 3

Someone died in front of her and you are saying that is has not effected her in anyway other then her not wanting to get into her own bed and thinking there are monsters in her room.?? Really...!! Do you not think that this is a way that it is effecting her.???

How old is she.? Would it be that bad if she slept in your bed for awhile until she is some what over the death of another person. ? You have someone comforting you in bed at night and she is alone to be comforted by fake monsters in her room.

Maybe you could buy her a little bed to put in your room for a while so you all might be more comfortable.

Answer 4

how old is your daughter? I would suggest that to start off youlay with her while she falls asleep asuring her that everythings fine, then gradually sit on her bed until she falls asleep, then get further and further away untill you dont have to be in the room while she goes to sleep, also my daughter not having any experience of your daughter always slept with me in my bed up until last week when i introduced a star chart everytime she stays in her bed for the whole night she gets a star and at end of week a present (this has worked remarkably well). If all else fails is it only this room shes scared of maybe switch rooms, see what room she is more comfortable in i switched with my daughter and i get a whole nights sleep for the first time in 5 years, good luck

Answer 5

really good answers from frottage,april and annie. and i would advise the same.
a friend of mine had a quite elaborate routine each night but it kept his child happy... depends how traumatised she is at this method could have an adverse effect if shes really convinced monsters exist rather than just an irrational fear... march into bedroom as kiddies brushing teeth etc in bathroom. shout 'if theres any monsters in here they better get out now!' then he'd say' aha!caught you! out you go..' and would get the broom and literally sweep and push the monster out of room, down the stairs and out the front door, which he then slammed. his daughter loved this, and altho she said it was back the following night it no longer scared her and she prob just loved the theatrics!
personally i do not agree with teacher who said it was just the siblings that were bothering her...any child that sees someone die, in whatever circumstances, will be affected and if she hasnt seen a counsellor/child psychiatarist then maybe now is the time. especially if you see one 1st and tell her your plan (ie frottage/april/annies ideas) and ask her to tell your daughter that this is a good idea and she supports you all in it. that way its your idea but has official backing, whcih i think you all need.
i really feel for you all, and agree strongly that her brothers must apologise, take back their words immediatley AND take her out for a treat.
tell her all our friends and family that die all have spirits which go up to sky/heaven etc but they never harm us, only watch over us as angels.
i wish you all the best and send warm hugs to you all

Answer 6

I certainly have six toddlers. I certainly have been down this highway many circumstances. i comprehend how hassle-free it incredibly is to tug her into mattress once you're very drained, yet that is going to be the main right here. we've had the final fulfillment with putting the baby back to mattress on the instant, each and each time she gets up. that is not any longer hassle-free, it incredibly is hard, and that's by ability of no ability a speedy answer, although that's the final one we've discovered. in case you supply in and pull her into mattress with you, it is going to set you back some weeks because of the fact she will desire you will do it returned. yet another suggestion may be to ask her why she is composed of your mattress? i comprehend 2-a million/2 looks youthful, yet once you're affected person and continual in asking you're able to be waiting to learn her motivation. Does she prefer a night easy? A filled toy for defense? A drink? Reassurance that Mommy remains close by? attempt to get to the basis of the subject and be adamant approximately her no longer dozing on your mattress. principally, do no longer punish her. She comes for a reason, no longer because of the fact she is naughty. ultimate of success to you.

Answer 7

It maybe too much of a shock for ur daughter as he died in front of her
nightmares may have happened

Try to let her sleep with you n her mother
so she knows there is someone to protect her
try not to force her or worse outcomes will happen

Maybe u can redecorate her room
paint her walls
and make her sleep in her room with her mother or you

Answer 8

In stages.

Start sleeping in her room instead, so she feels protected. Move closer to the door over a period of a couple of weeks, then move out to the hallway and eventually back to your own room with doors open, then doors back to closed.

If this doesn't work, see a counsellor.

Answer 9

have you tried a room swap between the kids, or is it any room on her own, do you let her keep the light on so she can see nothing is there that can hurt her, plus you could ask your sons to take back what they said and to say their is no monsters or ghosts in her room.

Answer 10

tell her that her brother is watching over her to make sure that no monsters gets into her room.

i am sorry for your loss. this loss is affecting your daughter, maybe she is not scared of the monsters but is in fact scared of dying and being alone. maybe she needs to talk about it with someone else. if u guys are religious or spiritual seek, your church/spiritual leader.