I met him for the 1st time 2 years ago at a family event. He just moved here (Las Vegas from NY) so we had distance. I never called him after the event b/c I was escaping an abusive relationship. He feels that I blew my chance of knowing him. He is denying me seeing my family..isn't that disgusting? The elders of the family won't get involved but feel terrible for me. Who is right?
Remember.. I cied to him and told him I needed my family and wanted to see everyone.
2007-03-19 21:45:42 · 13 answers · asked by mancandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What's disgusting is that you're mourning his snobbery!!
WAKE THE HELL UP and realize YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOUR LOSER SECOND COUSIN!!!!
His cruel decision will cost him the disrespect from MANY in your family---something he'll later regret, trust me on this one.
This could prove out well for you in the long run, too......stay tuned: film at 11.
2007-03-19 21:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
I'm sorry this isn't going to be the response you want to hear.
But it's his wedding, and he has the right to invite who he chooses. 400 guests may seem like a lot, but I'm sure there are a lot of people who got left out. I'm sure that he had to choose who he and his fiancee wanted to be there most. I'm sorry if you didn't make the list, but, to be honest, that's generally acceptable if you've only met the person once- even if you are family. This is his wedding day, and he should spend it with the family members who are closest to him, and meeting someone once isn't exactly a close family member. You should handle this situation with grace, i.e. not crying to him about it, not insisting that he invite you, and not getting other family members involved. That only makes the situation worse. You're going to anger and upset him, ruining all your chances of getting invited or of even getting to know him. Apparently he does not understand your situation, and apparently he does not feel as if you are concerned with getting to know him. Why not make this situation about getting to know him? Tell him that your main concern is not the wedding, but, rather, your relationship? Invite him for lunch, coffee, dinner, etc. and work on your relationship. Maybe once you prove to him that you're serious about the state of your relationship he'll extend an invite. Until then, be gracious about it, because it's not your choice. It's his.
P.S. If you need your family and if you want to see them... why not just see them? Go visit Aunt Gertrude or Cousin Fanny on your own. You don't need a wedding to see your family members. That's ridiculous. The wedding isn't about YOU seeing YOUR family. It's about HIM and HIS fiancee.
2007-03-19 21:58:57 · answer #2 · answered by lilmissmiss 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You're not going to like this answer!
This is a guy who you have only ever met once in your life, and that was two years ago, and you've taken the huff because you didn't get an invite to his wedding? You might be related, but you're not much more than strangers, so why should he invite you?
You accuse him of denying you seeing your family - I don't think you can blame him for that! If your so desperate to see them what's stopping you? You can't blame your cousin's wedding for that - that's just ridiculous! If you can't see them because of your ex-partner then that's understandable, but that's got nothing to do with you're cousin!
The fact that you're reminding everyone at the end of your Q that you were crying makes it sound like you're trying to manipulate everyone to seeing it from your point of view instead of objectively. From the way you've worded your Q your coming across as a spoiled little drama queen! Get over it!!
2007-03-19 22:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Hi. Your cousin is planning a wedding and reception to celebrate his new life with his bride, not a family reunion. He and his bride have the right to invite people that they love and want to share in this event. They certainly have no obligation to invite a distant cousin that they have met only once. Heck, they have no obligation to invite anyone they don't wish to invite. And no doubt, your insistance and crying would be a turn off to say the least.
2007-03-20 00:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) His wedding, not yours.
2) He is not denying you anything, you are attempting to impose yourself. If you want to see family, go see them.
3) If he is planning a wedding, especially one for 400 guests, he has a lot of headaches already. Don't be one of them.
4) Him not wanting someone there that he has only met once or twice on his special day is NOT disgusting. Crying about it, however, is. (Again, go see your family if you want to see them, he is not denying you that. Go and get together after the wedding.)
5) Who is right? Him.
2007-03-19 22:14:43 · answer #5 · answered by Serving Jesus 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not let this stop you guys from getting to know each other better. Don't just focus on the wedding, because ultimately who he wants to go gets invited. I wouldn't invite someone to my wedding I didn't know. I actually have no second cousins on my wedding list and neither does my fiance. But maybe you guys can build a relationship and see each other at other family get togethers in the future.
2007-03-19 22:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's his wedding. He should invite anyone he wants. Maybe you should open up new communications with him and try to build on a relationship. What done is past history. Don't fret over it. Move on, and if you want to attempt to see that side of your family, then do it. Nothing should stop you from doing that.
2007-03-19 21:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by gone 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
why not go out and see your family and forget about the wedding?
2007-03-20 05:46:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can go to the ceremony and see family, but not the reception. If the wedding is in a church it is open to anyone.
2007-03-20 01:14:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
i think what is he trying to do is imitate what you have done before to your family and him.
i'm not sure whether he hates you or not but i really hope not.
i guess you should give an effort to repair your relationships with everyone.
maybe when he saw your effort, he'll gave up to you.
2007-03-19 22:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by syaoran 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋