Every guy I've ever dated in my adult life (I'm 23) ends up breaking-up with me because they feel I'm never there for them and they're always last on my list of priorities.What do I do wrong?
2007-03-19 20:55:27 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It can't be that the guys are the problem because most of the guys I dated are very career focused themselves and at least 12 of them have ended the relationship for that reason.
2007-03-19 21:03:31 · update #1
You've found the wrong guys, keep looking there is a man out there who will support you and stay with you as you drive for your goals
2007-03-19 20:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if the answer is always the same--last on the list and you are too busy--I guess you have your answer. But it is your life--your decisions, your career--are you picking men with a job and a life of their own??? Are you picking supportive, caring and respectful men??? I have been a man with 2 careers at the same time--because of it I never dated or married or had a nice relationship--there is only 24 hours in a day--I spent them working-------------what a waste--no girls, no wife, no kids, nothing to show for my life---no sex, no social life----is that what you want??? That's where you are heading---so rethink a few things---it is only a job--it will be there tomorrow---don't pass up the fun for some jerky job that could replace you in a minute--that is a fact.. Try making a nice man happy--he will be the best thing in your life--he will make you so happy that work and the days will just fly by---smile, and relax a little---are your bosses married?? Yup, you don't see them staying at work--because you are there!! Come on, enjoy life--don't waste it like I did--I am 59 and very sad--all I have is the firehouse and my paints--and some cats.
2007-03-19 21:08:02 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, clearly you have a great career or schooling going. And yes, it's okay, at age 23, to focus on that. But if you are going to include a partner, then you have to set some goals there as well. I found, while working is time consuming, that quality over quantity is pretty much the way to handle the home life. Make better use of your time with him, and let him see he is important even for short bursts. Only you can learn how to make him realize, when he's with you, that he matters in the moment and looks forward to the next with you, whenever that happens to be convenient according to your schedule. And if you can't afford even that, then don't date right now, until you can.
2007-03-19 21:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a career and a family- If I can do that, you can certainly have a love life!
I dont think you do anything wrong, unless going after the same type of guy who expects 100% devotion is something wrong. Try going to different places to meet people.
Its not healthy to spend every waking moment catering to a mans whim and if he resents your time at work then take your independent self and find someone who has the same goals as you do.
Sure, there is more to life than work but the two can co-exist.
Good Luck :o)
2007-03-19 21:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by karma_au_1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a way of managing your time more effectively. I am about your age (almost) and I recently got married but before that I was dating. The key is making a schedule and sticking to it. Make sure that you and the guy make time for each other and stick to it. You should also keep work matters at work and be yourself, if you had a bad day leave it at work and try to be a good listener 50% of the time and 50% of the time share your thoughts. Finding a balance in every aspect of life is vital and time management is one of those important factors.
2007-03-19 21:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your career that is the problem but your attitude to your relationships.
A lot of people do have serious career but at the same time enjoy wonderful love life. I do get kicks having a career woman by my side. The challenge is highly stimulating.
I believe that what you must therefore change is not your career but your attitude to your men unless, you have been dating insecure men.
2007-03-19 21:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by comradechris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have certainly loved to answer your question the day you have 48 hours in your day. i know you would say i am kidding. one can never have 48 hours in a day.
True, so if somebody leaves you for not being able to spend quality time together, it is justified. but nobody will dare to bother you if you are doing good in career and managing your time in a manner that you still end up spending some quality moments of togetherness and love.
the essence of the advise is : please persue a career, but remember that in order to be loved and being with, you need to manage some quality time and love your partner.
I assure you if that happens, your partner will not only be proud of your professional accomplishments but also prove to be a good lover.
2007-03-19 21:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by Brave Heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your priorities are making you unhappy then you have the power to change them
no one likes coming last on the 'what's important to me list' however i dont believe you have to suddenly give up a satisfying career in order to make someone else in this world feel loved and important
you say that your ex's felt you were never there for them........ this is what got to me.
I have a very active and demanding career and there are times where my husband has to be understanding because of this. he also has a demanding career and therefore there are times where i have to be understanding
however, if he really needs me then i need him to know i would be there for him otherwise whats the point?
there is my professional life, my life with my husband, my life with my friends, my life with my family and the part of my life where i take care of myself.
in my opinion, in order to make an interesting and loving person you need to develop in more than one area of your life
and yes its really difficult....... but its important to me to try
2007-03-21 08:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No balance in your life, take a good hard look at your priorities and see what you place where. if he is last on the the list then move him up -- if he is at the top of the list and you treat him that way, then dump him because he has issues and is trying to put you on a guilt trip.
2007-03-19 21:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by chazzn101 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who says your doing it wrong? if they can't see how special they are to you, it's them who has the problem. As long as you have a healthy balance between work and life then your boyfriend has no reason to complain.
If you do think it's you then look at your daily schedule. How many hours do you have for your partner? How many for work?
I hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-03-19 20:59:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly, if she doesn't go overboard, in any one particular direction. It's a question of how she maintains a healthy balance, between the two domains: Career & Love-life.
2007-03-19 21:03:41 · answer #11 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋