she's 23 months & doesnt have more than 3 words, she doesnt make eye contact & doesnt follow simple directions. My friend is a dear neighbor of mine. MY son is currently in early intervention classes so I know what to look for .
2007-03-19 20:06:43 · 15 answers · asked by kailuahi 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This is a really tough situation to be in. However, you should think about the child before your friendship. That means discussing your concerns with your friend. I would tell her that you are concerned that her child may have developmental delays and perhaps give her a book that talks about age appropriate development. Just let her know that you have gone through this and recommend that she discuss it with her doctor at the child's 2 year checkup next month. Make the conversation brief and see how she reacts. She may not know what is normal or doesn't know how to help her daughter or she may be in denial. I know this is going to be a difficult thing to bring up, but if you really care about her and the child you will do what's in their best interests. Pretending everything is okay is not being a good friend. You sound like a good person and your neighbor is lucky to have you as a friend. Good luck!
2007-03-19 20:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that it sounds like your friend's child has developmental delays (having been through early intervention myself with my son). Ugh though, its SUCH a touchy subject to bring up. I would either wait for an opening - if she even remotely expresses any concerns or issues with her daughter, immediately suggest she have early intervention evaluate her. Another way is to keep talking about your son's progress, and what developmental milestones they should be meeting at this age, and what "red flags" to look for, etc.... see if that creates an opening.
Other than that, there is not a ton you can do. I don't recommend coming right out and expressing your concerns unsolicited. Its a very touchy subject and chances are good your friend will not take it well.
2007-03-20 13:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a hard one - maybe with your child is in early intervention, if your given any activities to do with ur child at home, do them while the other child is over and involve them - see if the child responds how she should and maybe if she does/doesn't say something like " Oh my son's teacher said he should have been doing this ages ago...." I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but maybe point out where your son is behind and try to subtly compare that to her daughter, maybe you could open it up with " My son was the same age as your daughter when he first did...(insert activity you think this child is behind in)" Then sort of say how glad you are that your son can do that now because you got help with it.
Good Luck :o)
2007-03-20 03:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by karma_au_1984 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your friend exactly what you have posted here. And, that you have noticed these things and based on your involvement in early intervention with your son and wanted her to know that they are signs of developmental delays and maybe tell her examples of the expections of what she "should" be doing. Your neighbor may get upset with you, but she may simply be unaware of what is "normal" for her daughter's age. Just do it with tact and compassion and hope for the best. (I just had to tell a new friend that her daughter's form when trying to walk wasn't "right." This prompted her to get her back into physical therapy and the other mom was grateful that I had pointed it out as she didn't realize that her daughter hadn't been progressing as much as she and her husband had thought (the daughter is physically behind due to health issues).)
2007-03-20 03:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by Casey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just casually mention that her daughter displays some of the same things your son did and maybe she should get her tested
or
mention that in your son's early intervention class they mentioned that it is common for people to have their child tested...kind of better safe than sorry type thing
if not i'm sure someone will catch it when she starts school, but that will probably be almost 3 yrs from now. you will probably huri your neighbor's feelings, but i'd rather have my feelings hurt and do whats in my child's best interest...than to have my feelings spared and my child suffers.
2007-03-20 03:49:16 · answer #5 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she mentions something about her concerns for her child start talking about what you have done with your child and the early intervention classes. Or maybe just bring up your childs progress and how you are glad he got the care he needed since he was showing... "add warning signs here."
2007-03-20 03:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough subject to come to another parent about. most parents dont want to hear there is something wrong with their child. is this friend's child in a pre k or something lke that. You could start by asking how the child is doing in school. Start from there.you feel you might have a little insite gong by what you have learned about these things in your own experience. Explain to her" I hope Im not oversteping, I just want to help" If she gets truely upset drop it and say " Im sorry if i upset you I was only trying to help because you are a friend." And leave it. ou may have just giver her enough to go on to start thinking about it herself! hope it works out!
If you are close enough you could just say " look i couldnt help but notice".....and explain that
2007-03-20 05:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by vicky31mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell her. She probably already knows, and isn't ready to talk to you about it yet. A friend of mine didn't talk until she was three years old, and now she is a welding engineer. Notice if she makes eye contact with her mother. Remember this is a person you may be living near for a long time. You don't want to alienate your self from her.
2007-03-20 03:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by starflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do your own checking. By that I mean, see if she can hear you. At that age, hearing problems aren't noticed. I would just tell your friend that you have some concerns about her and address them with a very caring tone. There could be a number of reasons for what you are seeing and they will become clearer as she gets older.
2007-03-20 03:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start talking bout your son and what the teachers say he should be doing by now
leave a book or something with a development list at her house by "accident"
maybe she'll get the hint
if not talk to her about it
be foward but nice dont blame her cause it's probably not her fault
she needs to know so her daughter can get the help she needs
2007-03-21 04:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by squeaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋