How can i make him give me another chance?

Question

Well, i use to date this guy who at first was my friend then we went a step forward and became a lil bit more then friends. Yesterday he got pissed off because he found out that the last guy i've dated was married. The worst part was that i was not the one telling him about it, but his brother who just made a lil bit of a joke... well from that time his attitude complitely changed against me he barely talked to me the whole evening and when he droped me home i've asked him if he'll like to come in for a cup of tea and he refused. We've been knowing eachother for only 2 months and we never talked about our personal lifes open, that was the reason i never told him about it. I could say that i was closer to his bro as a friend then i was to him. How can i get another chance, how can i prove that my ex relationship was a huge mistake and the moment i've realised it i just stepped out of it?

To make it clear enuf for the dude who'd drop me like a "hot potato" i've dated this married man before i've met my bf. and i also stopped seeing this man before i met him...

Answer 1

you have to give this man time to come to terms with your past..he may or may not want to see you again.

Answer 2

When exactly did you realize you'd made a huge mistake with the married guy you were dating? When you realized it made you feel dirty, when you realized he'd always cheat on his wife or you, or when you realized he'd never leave his wife for you?
The reason I ask is because everyone knows how married guys can screw around on their wives - and how creepy it is. The bad part is that there are women who are willing to be the person the married guy cheats with - that is what your ex-bf is having a problem with. It will make his atttitude change - he wonders what motivates you to be with someone, other than just wanting to have a good time. Married men sneaking around provide a pretty good time.
It's too bad you've never talked about your personal lives before but it would have avoided trouble if you had brought this up early in the dating. Usually people do say something about how they just broke up with someone if they did have a relationship before. You would have explained (or maybe even lied about) how you just broke up with a married guy. He would have had a chance to comment about it then. Are you sure that you didn't avoid saying anything about it because you knew there would be questions and you would feel on the spot?
It's tempting to lie instead of telling the truth if the truth is the guy wasn't going to leave his wife. Makes you sound like a homewrecker - what is the nicest way to explain how you tried but failed to break up a marriage.
Your bf may not be able to get over the common knowledge that you don't care if someone is married and you do have that reputation. So just move on. Consider it one of many payments you will make for that mistake.

Answer 3

Well I think that if you wasn't dating the guy and was just friends then why should he be so mad. I know that a married man comes and you sometimes get swept off your feet by the sneaking and always wondering if your going to get caught. I know that your not suppost to date a married man but, what I don't understand is that you haven't dated him since you have been with your new boyfriend. I just think that he needs to know we all make mistakes and I for one have done the same thing with a married man. Plus those married men sometimes are the ones that is doing most of the persuasion in my oppion. Plus they usually know what you want. I think in new boyfriend needs to start acting like a man because, if he loves you he would want to work things out. If he doesn't then maybe you need to find you a real man that can handle stuff a little differently and has more trust in you.
Good Luck, Tracy

Answer 4

Word gets around no matter who knows. That's the problem with juicy gossip. Learn from this and make sure you talk about your skeletons with your partner before they surface.

To fix this is simple. Do what many have said already. Tell him about it now. Give him all the information first hand. Let him know the time line. Make sure he realizes that it was before you two got started. He's probably just upset because of his brother knowing first. I'm sure it will blow over don't panic.

If he doesn't get over your little past experience, then he's not someone you want to be with in the long run anyway and you should just let him go.

When you bring it up explain how you are embarrassed about what you did and that's why it's so hard to talk about it. Make sure you never get aggravated while explaining. If he starts to get upset just ignore his attitude and continue telling him. Make sure you get it all out. You don't want him to learn something else later from gossip that you didn't tell him this time around.

Answer 5

Tell him that everyone makes mistakes, that no one is perfect. And I am sure he has made mistakes himself. Also tell him he has no right to be mad because it was before you met him. You can not change the past you can only make the present and future better. And tell him your trying to move on from the past not dwell on it. Thats about all you can do then if he still don't talk to you then he wasnt worth your time. It's not your fault you cannot change the past. But he should and understand because he has no reason to be mad at all. But try to talk it out with him that is about all you can do about it. I wish you the best of luck and i hope everything works out for you

Answer 6

You should do nothing. If he wants to judge you for a mistake you made before you even knew him then he's a jerk. There are lots of circumstances to life. Not all decisions are the best, but they seem like the best when they are being made or we wouldn;t chose them. I believe in one one judge in this world, one we have to face once we are removed from this earth. That doesn't make it o.k. to accept things that are morally wrong in your oppinion, but he should have talked to you about how he was feeling. Not just dropped you off like that. Maybe he is just jealous at the visual of you being with another guy and his brother knowing. Maybe he has good morals and mistook you for a different personality. But come on, we are made of MANY layers and we only show a few to each person in our lives. Each one might see a different layer than another person sees. It's not like you broadcast those things to the world. If he can't understand that, then skip him and move on. You are not obligated to tell anyone anything about yourself. My advise to you is to keep your personal life private and be careful who you tell what to!

Answer 7

Sounds like he is hurt. You have only been going out for only 2 months or so, and if he wanted to know everything about you, he should ask.I guess you could come clean, and so should he if he wants a relationship with you, but I think is what matters now is what you both want. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Well for starters why would you go out with a married man?Now you know and your bf and his brother and this married man.You can guarantee this married guy will talk.Sorry if you were my gf I'd drop you like a hot potato.Goodness you've only known each other for 2mths and already you're cheating with a married man

Answer 9

Dating a married man is just wrong. Apparently this new guy has some values and has lost any interest he had in you.

Answer 10

First of all,you should of told him not his brother,you won't dating his brother,now go try talking to him,tell him that you were dating that guy way before you met him ,and tell him everything that he needs to know,don't tell his brother tell him,if you do care about him,tell him everything. GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

You can't MAKE anyone do anything.
If you are respectful and truthful to him, and to yourself, he might desire to talk about it. Otherwise, if he won't participate with you, move on, and decide to be content with it.
Be confident that' "there are other fish in the sea".