So here is the Deal...?

Question

My husbands older sister, Writes alot of bad checks, so me and my husband loaned her the $400 dollars to pay off her bad checks, and that she would pay us back the next day, well she gave us $300 of it back, and does not now have the other $100 dollars. I was not aware of what the money was for until afterwards needless to say. In the past When me and my hubby needed help with something she would give some kind of cope out excuse saying that she can't because of this and that, but when it came to her needing help, and me and my hubby said no, she would go off telling us that we are worthless fuhkers, and that we never do anything for her and so on and so on. We have gotten in to many fights over this, but she still fails to do anything and keeps getting worse. When she is mad at me and my hubby she turns to an evil *****..she has lied to make me lose my job(because she wanted it), lied to my hubbys parents about stuff, to cause fights.... so on...what do we do

Answer 1

TOUGH LOVE---you are only enabling her when you give in. She has acquired a really bad behavioral tendancy that is controlling and manipulating---too bad --NO MORE HELP--the screaming brat should finally be forced into learning responsibility. Too bad if she gets in trouble--your family life is in the toilet--and she is not YOUR sister, anyway. If your hubby insists on helping, keep quiet and keep living your OWN life. Ignore her--don't fight over this with your hubby--it is time wasted. Start your OWN bank account--save your nickels and dimes----she sounds like trouble and you can lose out if you don't protect yourself. Now, be cool, relax, let them handle their child--you protect yourself and find other things to do to avoid contact with her--she is a menace and a threat---that borders on harrassment.. DO NOT FIGHT OVER THIS.....have nothing to do with deciding what to do--she is not your sister....got that???Good luck and be cool

Answer 2

She needs to grow up and accept responsibility! I would not help her with anything and would break all contact with her until she can see her evil ways! I would talk to your hubbys parents together and tell them why you wont help her again. If you and his parents continue to help her and let her get by with acting that way she will never learn. Maybe writing bad checks will have her do some jail time and maybe will wake her up. But you dont need that from her, she sounds immature and very selfish! But break all contact with her, she needs to grow up. But talk to his parents and let them know what you are doing and the reason why. They may not understand at first but I have a feeling they will find out when the sister starts treating them that way.

Answer 3

I have been in kind of the same situation also. It is time to cut her loose. Be blunt, be truthful, and spread the news. Forget the 100 dollars and chalk it up to experience. Sounds like she is drugging and in any case you and your husband do not need things like this going on in your relationship. Talk it over with him and draw the line. Once you have, stick to your guns because they can come up with more excuses and sad stories than you can shake a stick at. And be sure you let her know what your decision are. One you have cut the strings she will try you again but when she realizes that you will not sway things will settle down.

Answer 4

you are going to have to set some ground rules with her. is she younger or older? sounds like she is a teenager! you need to tell her that you will not be helping her out anymore. tell her to quit writing bad checks, and if she can't learn to budget her own money, then she'll need to have her parents do it for her, or else she will just have to suffer the consequences and go to jail. you need to sit her down, and tell her that u guys have ur own bills and things to worry about, and its not fair to you guys that she keeps coming to you for help when she messes up. I would say have the bank confiscate her checkbook if she can't handle the responsibility of balancing her checkbook and making sure she doesn't overdraw herself. This sounds like your helping her never teaches her the lesson, and sometimes you have to learn things the hard way, or else you'll never learn. next time that she gets nasty and obscene with you call the cops! tell her "for someone who needs our help so bad, you're sure not acting like someone who DESERVES our help!" she'll get the hint, when you quit cleaning up her messes.

hope this helped and good luck.

Answer 5

sounds like she has some sort of addiction, just tell her now and hang up when she starts yelling. You have to demand respect from these sort of people and dont communicate unless she gives it.

There is nothing that says you have to deal with her because she is his sister. That sort of thinking is a bunch of garbage with people like this.

Dont have relationships with people who dont respect you.

Answer 6

Write her off, she will only bring you down and cause problems within your marriage. You have tried to help her, and she has proved ungrateful. Save your marriage and let her dig her way out of her own problems!

Answer 7

If there is nothing you can do to change he faulty ways, turn your backs on her until she learns her lessons.