I don't want to have any children and people call me selfish. Should I feel guilty about this?

Answer 1

I dont think your selfish at all. Some people were not ment to be parents, I was torn with this also. The world is so crazy I thought, Is it going to be fair to bring a child into the world. But then I became pregnant on the pill and my daughter is 4 weeks old and I wouldnt trade her for anything. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Some people dont have a maternal instint. Its okay. Have kids Dont have them. Its totally up to you.

Answer 2

I can't believe people call you selfish for not wanting to have kids. You should not feel guilty about your decision. There are so many different types of people in this world and some are meant to have kids and others aren't. This doesn't make anyone better or worse than the other. I commend you for knowing what you want (or don't want) and choosing what's right for you. I have 3 children and my sister has chosen not to have kids. We both chose what we wanted and respect eachother's decision. Children are a blessing, and I do hope that you have friends with kids or a niece or nephew. I think if you are never around kids then you will miss out on something very special. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

You should not feel guilty at all. It is your personal choice guarenteed to you by the US constitution. Not having children is not selfish at all considering what this world is shaping into. I worry about my kids everyday. Maybe to you the worry about another human life and taking full responsibility of another human life is overbearing and I commend you for reaching this conclusion and not procreating because you feel you should have to. If someone says you are selfish for it again say well i'm sorry that i dont want to bring a child into this scary world of school shootings and risk the pain and suffering that it may cause. The obvious rebuttal to this will be well you will miss out on the joys childhood brings. Simply say yes, I will I guess that is my loss and my loss alone.

Answer 4

NO!!!!!, Many of my friends do not have children. They do not resent me for the life I choose and I do not feel that they are selfish for the life they choose. I may be the selfish one, wanting kids, wanting to stay home, wanting all the things that I did not have and knowing that I will struggle to afford it all and college for 3 or more kids. Yet this is what I choose the path that I loved, the one that said it was OK for me to quit the pre med program to be a full time stay at home. I have many friends some with kids some with out...we all make choices and we should make the choices that make out lives happier, just make sure your partner feels the same otherwise there maybe hurt feelings and resentment. Good luck and enjoy the single (meaning no kid) life...Mom of 3 and looking for more.

Answer 5

Absolutely not. If someone tells you you're selfish for not wanting kids, ask them to give you just ten reasons why they had kids that DON'T start with "I wanted..."

Calling someone else "selfish" because s/he doesn't want kids is just a knee-jerk reaction for some parents -- they don't want to hear why you don't want kids, they just want to pontificate and lay down the law and tell you why you're wrong for not doing exactly what they did in life.

My husband and I aren't having kids because there's a high occurrence of heart disease and alcoholism in his family, and a high occurrence of schizophrenia, postpartum psychosis, diabetes, and heart disease in my family. I have about a 1 in 4 choice of having a schizophrenic child, and I've seen what it's done to my sister and my brother.

And yet, people STILL call us selfish for not having children.

I know a woman with multiple sclerosis who has a 1 in 2 chance of passing on her condition if she gives birth to a child, who had her tubes tied so that the disease would stop with her. She STILL has people call her selfish for deciding not to have kids. In short, there's really no way you can prove to these folks that you're UNselfish short of making yourself miserable.

Besides, it's infinitely better to just realize you don't want kids for whatever reason, selfish or unselfish, than have children you don't want just to go along with some absurd social norm or status quo that doesn't mean anything to you.

When those folks call you selfish, just give them a great big smile, and say: "Yes, I am selfish. DAMN selfish, thanks. And I'd rather just be honest and admit that I'm selfish, than try to disprove it by having a child I DON'T WANT."

But the childfree-by-choice community is growing. Perhaps you can find a support board where you can talk to people like yourself. Best wishes to you, and no, you are NOT selfish -- you are simply being honest with yourself.

BTW, Tawni B, that's a beautiful attitude for a parent to have. I wish we had more mothers like you out there!

Answer 6

It's not selfish to not want children. It's selfish to HAVE the kids anyway and not want anything to do with them. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone make you feel guilty!

Answer 7

Absolutely not. I find it commendable when people realise that they do not want children or that they would not be good parents. There are too many people out there having babies for the sake of having babies or because they were too lazy to use birth control.

No one should be able to make you feel guilty or selfish for knowing what you want ... or do not want.

Answer 8

I never wanted kids and in fact had more than one abortion because I was happy with my life and did not want it to change. But when I fell in love with someone and got pregnant, I decided to keep the baby. I am now a proud mother of a beautiful 2 month old baby. I just turned 28, and now I wish I'd had him sooner. He's the greatest joy in the world for me. Things change once you feel your child kick for the first time, or they put that little bundle in your arms. But if you don't want that, there's nothing wrong with that! Living for yourself is ok, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Answer 9

You're not selfish just because you don't want kids. Some people want kids, some don't. It's all about personal choice. The decision to have kids or not has nothing to do with selfishness.

Answer 10

Not at all. everyone has a different path that they take. mabey you dont want children now, mabey some day that could change, mabey not. The only thing that bothers me sometimes is, some people that dont have kids dont realise that people that do have a lot to deal with, I think that its you choice. nothing selfish about it at all, unless your one of those who degrates people who do have children, because thats their choice as well.