My next door neighbor's daughter is getting married. She (the mom) and I get along very well, but the daughter (who is getting married) doesn't live around here. I hardly know the daughter. When she comes around, she has little to say to me and sometimes acts a little arrogent. The daughter is getting married and invited me to the wedding, which is about 2,000 miles away.. She also invited some other neighbors and I doubt if any of them will go. She has nothing to do with them either. Should we all be sending gifts if we are not going?
2007-03-19 19:09:32 · 22 answers · asked by Lockformer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
In this day and age of 'gimme", people that you barely know send invitations for graduation, wedding, births, etc etc in the expectations that they are going to receive a gift from everyone, anyone that reads the invitation. A "gift" by definition is something given, but it should be followed by "because you WANT to give" it not because you should. If you don't know the person that is sending the invitation, and feel that you are just being asked for a gift, and are not wanting to give, then don't.
2007-03-20 03:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by cat14675 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married in June. My fiance's parents invited everyone. By everyone I mean EVERYONE! I've been with my fiance for six years and never even HEARD of some of these people.
Why am I telling you this? Well, because though I had to invite these people, I don't want them there. No offense to them, but I'd rather have people I love and am close to than introduce myself at my wedding. If they don't come, I hope they don't send a gift. Again, these are people I don't know. Why should they be giving me something, they don't know me, either.
A nice card or note on the back of the response is appreciated, but you were probably invited for the parents, and most likely not expected to come. Send a card for the sake of the mom, and don't worry any more about it.
2007-03-20 09:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably invited you and other neighbors out of courtesy knowing that you will not be able to go. As is tradition she is suppose to invite you and other friends of her family and probably didn't want to (because your not close to her and wouldn't attend) but wedding invitations are very expensive and you should acknowledge the invitation and give your gift to her mother to bring with her. If she doesn't have a lot of money then cash is the best gift, about $25.00 is a descent amount(great to get that before the honeymoon) but you also can buy a small gift. Either way thank her and her mother for the invitation and wish them well! Good Luck.
2007-03-20 02:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Timberland 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well more than likely it was the mother, not the daughter, who invited you. And if you aren't going, I would simply RSVP no, and don't worry about a gift. However, if your only reason for not going is the arrogance of the daughter, yet you are close to the mother, you may want to reconsider if you can. Again, you were more than likely invited because of the mom and you don't want to offend her. If you can't afford to go, or have a time conflict, etc., then just let the mother know prior to sending your RSVP that way she'll have a heads up that you can't make it. And no, I don't think a gift is in order if you aren't going.
2007-03-20 09:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably on the invitation list because of your friendship with the mother.
Sad to say, but not giving a gift would hurt the mother more than the daughter. To preserve good relations with your neighbor I would give a gift.......not extravagant, but what your circile of friends would consider adequate. I say that because some will say $25 range and some will say $100 range.
You would be the best judge of how much is reasonable. Also an actual gift is harder to tag with a price than a gift card or cash. I'd go with an actual gift.........set of towels or something generic and with a wide price range. The mother can take it with her when she goes to the wedding so no shipping costs.
2007-03-20 02:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving a gift is never required. Even if you did go to the wedding you would not have to give her a gift. However, if the mom is a good friend of yours you may want to give something for your friends sake, not the brides. Could you chip in with other neighbors on something so that you don't have to spend much?
Last week my big bosses daughter got married. I've seen the girl a couple of times but I don't know her at all. 7 of us at work chipped in on a giftcard. We didn't have to give much to show our support to the big boss.
2007-03-20 02:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is good form to send a gift to any wedding you are invited to through the mail. Check to see where the return address is on the reception card, or on the envelope itself. Ask her mother (your neighbor) where she is registered, then go online and order a gift. The gift can be automatically sent to her address, eliminating the need for you to wrap it. This is customary and very normal when an invitaiton is sent to someone who will not be attending the wedding.
2007-03-20 02:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would, considering you're friends with her mother. The invitation was probably just a courtesy, in order not to offend you. Just find her registry online, and pick something out in a price range you can afford (don't forget about the shipping costs!). Most of the online registries will ship the package automatically to the address the couple has on file with them, which makes it easier for you. Just ask her mom, since you're close, where her daughter is registered, and congratulate your friend on the new addition to her family!
2007-03-20 02:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say yes because the rule of etiquette is that if you are invited you should send a gift whether you go or not. But, it sounds like she is fishing for gifts from people she knows will not come. If you do send something, don't spend a lot of money!
2007-03-20 08:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could send a small gift of money If you sent five dollars in the card it would get the point across. Sometimes one tacky action deserves another, and in this case it would think it appropriate. If you don't want to offend her mom, you could get the neighbors together and get her a gift certificate, that way no one has to spend to much. Or you could just say Congratulation! Sorry I will not be able to attend.
2007-03-20 02:22:33 · answer #10 · answered by gigi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋