A Jew, a Catholic and an Episcopalian stood at the gates of Hell. Satan came out and looked them over. "Why are you here?" he asked the Jew.
"I ate pork," the Jew admitted.
"Okay, come on in," said the Devil. Then he turned to the Catholic. "What about you?"
"I ate meat on Friday, long before His Holiness said it was okay," the Catholic answered.
"All right, come in," Satan said. Then he looked at the Episcopalian. "Why on earth are you down here?"
The Episcopalian hung his head in shame, then answered: "I ate with the wrong fork."
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Question: What do you call a one-legged Wiccan?
Answer: Eileen.
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Question: Why did the Hindu refuse novacaine when she had her teeth worked on?
Answer: She wanted to transcend dental medication.
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Question: Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the sofa?
Answer: Because they have no attachments.
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2007-03-19 18:42:17 · 17 answers · asked by smacksgalore 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Question: Why don't Baptists make love standing up?
Answer: It might lead to dancing.
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A man sat reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt."
His son looked pensive for a moment, then looked up at his father and asked, "What happened to the flea?"
2007-03-19 18:42:54 · update #1
THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE
Scribbled across a restroom wall: God is dead. -- Nietzsche.
Underneath that: Nietzsche is dead. -- God.
2007-03-19 18:43:46 · update #2
here's one for shock value..
Q: whats the difference between jesus, and a picture of jesus?
A: it only takes one nail to hang his picture
that one is really offensive. if anyone is offended by this id like to extend my sincere appologies.. it is not my intent to offend, just make the 'asker' laugh
2007-03-19 18:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by Blenderhead 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
surprised some of the above people bother with the jokes section, anyway Very Good and Clever 9 / 10 and a halo, sorry star
2007-03-19 21:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by billtheangler 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Jesus is walking through Jerusalem when he sees a crowd trying to stone a woman to death."What's going on here ?" asks Jesus.
"The woman is a whore, a sinner." said one of the crowd.
Jesus replies: "Let he among you that is without sin,cast the first stone.."
Everyone looks guilty and sheepishly begin to drop the stones by their sides. Suddenly a large brick comes flying over from the back of the crowd and hits the whore on the head. Jesus looks back and says...
"Oh, Mum...you spoil everything."
2007-03-19 22:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Hah..liked the lot and the nietzsche one
2007-03-19 21:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by My name is not bruce 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The script over the head of Jesus on the cross read "I N R I".
Those who disbelieved, wrote this :
I'm Nailed Right In.
2007-03-19 18:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by You Can't See Me 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
A Buddhist went up to a hot dog vendor and said, " Make me one with everything."
LR
2007-03-19 18:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lone Ranger 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
NON-religion: Van and his friend walked in the forrest. Suddenly Van disappeared down a deep hole. His friend peeked down, shouting, "did you get hurt?". Up comes the reply, "I don't know, I'm still falling".
2007-03-19 19:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by Peter V 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
lmao... i liked the flee (flea) one best..
"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flea out of the city"... hehe
hahahahahahahahaha
good ones... thanx for the laugh
2007-03-19 18:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by PerFecT StrAngEr.. is back 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
complete mess
2007-03-19 18:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by Magician 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
lone rangers reply is much funnier
2007-03-19 22:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋