An Interracial Dating Questionnare...what do you REALLY think?

Question

I'm struggling with that question right now (saw "Black Snake Moan" and "Something New" this weekend). As a Black guy, I sometimes feel a "we don't want you here" undercurrent. A good example are the dating websites (like yahoo personals or match.com)...when you do a search, a large % of the women that specify a preference for their "mate" actively leave out African-American as an option...it makes me think that there's the "public answer," and the "answer for me." I take the latter as more real. So the questions: (1) have you ever gone out with someone of another race, (2) if your son/daughter brought home someone of another race, would you even blink or would it foster some thought on your part (and if this happened to you, what'd you do?), and (3) all things being equal (personality, socio-economics, etc.) would you prefer your own race? Keep it real, blind "pollyanism" doesn't reflect what a large % of people are really saying when they're looking for someone for themselves!

Answer 1

Hmmm...honestly, I have been very attracted to African American (I am shortening this to AA) men before but I am sometimes a bit chicken when it comes to going out. I just have no problem with race (yeah, we all say that :) but obviously there are some sick bigots out there. Also, some AA women do not appreciate seeing AA men with Caucasion women. And if I see a bi-racial couple, I notice that they are bi-racial, but I just don't care.

Guess I can't claim to have no problem with bi-racial couples if I would be too much of chicken to go out with an AA man though...... here's the thing, I know in my heart that if I met a man I really liked, it wouldn't matter what color his skin was.

Answer 2

Wow, its been quite some time since I've come across a good topic and yet very well stated and put together. I've had alot of experience dating outside of my race, and so have many other people in my family. I've shared both good & bad experiences with dating other races. The few african american males that I have dated, have turned out to be not so nice guys. All of them were very abusive towards me and honestly had no respect for women at all. But, that doesn't block my judgment of that race. Not every african american male is that way! Other then the bad occurances, I enjoyed it. Definately something new, and feels almost 'naughty' to me to be in a relationship that someone else may be against, almost feels dangerous in a way, lol. I highly doubt if I ever brought home an african american male, or any other race to my family, they'd disagree, for the simple fact that 3 of my aunts and uncles have married outside their race, would rather have someone other then a white person, not saying we dont like them, but thats what they prefer. Heck, my own mother married an african american male, and hes terrific to her, couldn't ask for a better step dad! Don't let it get you down hun, there are tons of idiots out there that are prejudice, and obviously dont take the time out of their lives to get to know each and every race! Keep your head up!

Answer 3

: (1) have you ever gone out with someone of another race,
Yes I have. Multiple times.

(2) if your son/daughter brought home someone of another race, would you even blink or would it foster some thought on your part (and if this happened to you, what'd you do?)
No, I wouldn't blink. If anything I'd smile and rejoice in the diversity.

(3) all things being equal (personality, socio-economics, etc.) would you prefer your own race?
I like diversity so it wouldn't really matter.

Hope this helps =)

Answer 4

i personally think that skin color or race should not be of any impotrance at least it isn't to me and thankfully to my mother as she brought me up to think that a person is a person and that because some people of a certain race may do something bad it doesn't mean they all do. There is plenty of nasty **** being done by whites too. I have dated women of many different races and my mother accepted everyone of them, as long as i was happy that's what counted. I am currently living in Manila with a Filipina and am very happy.I know people will point fingers and talk behind your back but screw them they aren't dating you or the person you like. While living in Canada i was out with a black woman and she said to me that a couple had been staring at us and i said made they are just impressed by how good we looked together.So i guess i am saying if you meet someone who likes you enjoy and the hell with everybody else

Answer 5

I am a caucasian woman, and I have dated Latin and Black men in the past. I am now with a caucasian man, but not because he is white. I know some girls who like black men like some girls like tall guys, it is their thing, their preference-they are largely attracted to that race. Some men I know have a thing for asian women, and my guy doesnt understand that at all. As for interracial dating in general, I think it really isnt about race a whole lot. I think if you are crossing borders, it is difficult because your backgrounds and upbringing will be totally unique of each others. I also think social status is a difficult barrier to cross. That is where I am now. My soon to be inlaws think Im after money, and dont like that my dad is working class. Age is another. I think if people have similar backgrounds and customs, ubringing, similar social status (money) and have common interests and attractions, then it is not weird. If those things are different, which they can be if your races are different, then it will probably be tough.
What I do think is a little funny is when you see a white woman at the mall or grocery store with a black or latin or asian baby...because the baby usually takes the darker genes, and they dont look like mom and baby. she looks like she stole it. Or adopted of course!

Answer 6

Well I've never been on a dating site, because I've been married for 8 years. Its hard to answer questions about race because so many people get offended by anything a white woman has to say. In highschool, I dated a few black guys. It wasn't something I went out of my way to do. I liked them and they just happened to be black. One was mixed. I live in the south and the general consensus is that we're all "rednecks" and "racists". Yeah, some are, but thats anywhere. I have had racial slurs said to me, too. I got made fun of for dating outside my race. I didn't tell my parents cuz they were raised to not date outside their race, like alot of people are. I am not against it, but I encountered alot of crap, mostly from the black community, for dating black guys. It really pissed me off that some said I was "taking their men" or "trying to be black". I just thought I was liking someone. If my sons came home with a black girl, I wouldn't really care. Whether I like or dislike people has nothing to do with their skin color. Some people are not like that, though. But I'll tell you this. I wish people of all races would open their eyes. I wish people would stop calling each other slur words and getting mad when someone outside the race says it. I was called Honky and Casper, but no one took up for me. I got told I was trying to be black because I like chicken so much. Which is dumb. Anyone can be racist. If I were to be single, I probably would stick to my own race just because of all the hell I was put through when I was in school. But it wasn't the whites that were mean, it was the black friends of the guys I dated and female friends and relatives. Society causes alot of resentment between races. I try to always be honest with anyone I talk to, so I hope this helps.

Answer 7

1) I have gone out with several "someones" of another race.

2) If my son or daughter brought home someone of another race, I would be more concerned that they shared our socioeconomic background and came from a family with similar values than what race they were.

3) All things being equal, I would prefer my own race. It would just be easier, I think.

Answer 8

LOL my answer is GUARANTEED to make you feel better!

Just be glad you're not Asian! I'm Asian, and people treat me like I'm Shrek or something.

1. No, but only because I've never been on a date in my entire life.

2. Wouldn't care, because I know they'll make their own decisions anyway.

3. Heck no. I actually prefer any race OTHER than my own, due to reasons of attraction and the fact that my mom beat the crap out of me as a child.

Answer 9

I'm only 16.
1) I've never dated (my parents don't let me). If they had let me date a few years ago, my first date would've been a black guy (he was the nicest guy on the planet :)).
2) I obviously can't answer this one.
3) Race or color doesn't matter to me. If my future spouse is black or Asian or something, then so be it. It'll most likely be God's choice for me (which I am waiting for. I'm not just going to search out a hot guy.) which will be fantastic (since it's God's choice, and He knows best).

Answer 10

1) Yes, my first boyfriend was white.
2) No, I believe in LOVE and LOVE only.
3)NO, black men usually give me problems. I kept it Real. sorry.

For you, I'd say that as a black man, you are statistically MORE LIKELY to date (or have the opportunity to date) outside of your race than a black woman would.

In general I think the term African-American (both men and woman) is left out of a lot of people's preferences and agendas.