ok my friend at work is constantly having to pick up the tab on anything her and her man decide to do.for instance shes going to visit him for spring break he was to suppose to buy the plane tickets a long time ago and he didnt so now she has to buy them and her 2 kids are going too..well he always ask her for money, she even said here lately shes' afraid to answer his calls he might want to borrow more money point is he never has any and she asked me for advice on how to tell to stop asking her for money and be a man..honestly im a B*tch. i'd dumb his *** . shes 28 and when she was about 16 they had a son. well he wasnt responsible then so she left him and never saw him agian till here recently she even wants to have his baby, shes suppose to move in with him in may..i try to tell her to wait i dont know what to tell her anymore but she asked for advice on him always asking for money so what should i tell her??
2007-03-19 18:32:02 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell her that as long as she acts like a scared little girl all she is going to be dealing with is scared little boys. Don't know a better way to put it, she needs to realize that no matter what bad he does from now on, since she had those kids, its her fault. She isn't a little girl anymore she is a mother and for her to make this guy her father she is going to have accept that he is just an extra kid. That only man she got out of him is the manhood between his legs, and that she is going to not only raise them up, but also him. Be mean with her, thats why I put it this way, because in the end she is being one cold and evil person to those kids. No joke, theres nothing right about forcing a boy to be man, and then a father. Its not funny and it is definite not fair to them. I find it incredible hard to believe that this is his only failing point, chances are he is a "don't care" kinda guy. She needs help to work past this friend, because history is so powerful, you need to slap a little sense in her or just find peace with watching her drown in this situation.
2007-03-20 03:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Brutal Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 5⤋
I doubt that anything you tell her would have much of an effect. These two have a history and it does seem to repeat itself.
Your friend is convinced that she is in love with this guy. But I wonder if she is. She is attracted to him and know his faults, at least on the surface. What she fails to realize is that if he was in love with her, he would try to make things easier for her and the kids. Instead, it sound like his needs come first.
He is either childish (not child-like) or selfish. He seems to get his needs met in this relationship with no thought about her needs or the needs of the children. He is not likely to change.
What should you tell her? She will not take kindly to your "dump his ***". You might want to ask her if she is ready to support this guy for the rest of her life. If she is not, then she need to communicate this to him and find a solution.
2007-03-20 10:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by Richard 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
As long as she's willing to give him money, his hand will always be out to take it. She needs to stand up to him and tell him it's hard enough to support her and two kids - let alone him too. Eventually, if she quits picking up his tabs, he'll get the point and start paying for his own stuff.
2007-03-20 10:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋