my 6 year old daughter asked me what is sex?

Question

how should i had answer her ?....i was caught by surprise..i told her ..that is a word for big people to use not ...for children .. to use ..i also told her ..sex is what me and your papa did to get you..was i wrong?..

Answer 1

Kids are curious about a lot of things but they are not old enough to be interested in them. Just give her a short answer and tell her the truth. Be simple about it, and she'll probably forget it a day later.

Actually a better idea would be to ask her what she thinks it is and if she has the right idea, just tell her she is right. When the right time comes, she'll find out and know more about it.

Answer 2

I'd say answer her question honestly and simply.

First, find out what she's really asking. She might not want to know the gory details. Perhaps she is asking about sex in terms of gender? You can't know until you ask.

Then, find out what she thinks sex is. That way, you can determine if she has any misinformation.

In my opinion, there is nothing dirty or shameful about sex. I believe it is sacred and proper to marriage, but it is far from shameful. I have no problems answering my children's questions in all matters, including matters of the body.

I think it's important to gear your answer to her age. I'm not precisely sure how I'd answer a 6 year old, but I can tell you what my 4.5 year old knows. I've told her that, in order to conceive a baby, Mommy and Daddy hold eachother in a very special way. A sperm cell from Daddy's body travels to Mommy's uterus and combines w/ an egg from Mommy's ovaries. The sperm fetilizes the egg and God creates a new human being. She hasn't asked more than that, so I haven't supplied the answer.

I DON'T think it's necessary to be unduly graphic, nor do I think it's necessary to use cutsey terms and try to blow the child off. If your child cannot come to you for this information, she'll eventually learn to ask someone else...and you won't be able to guarantee that information will be appropriate or accurate. If you're embarassed, you can admit that, but explain that you're still willing to answer any questions.

I'd say give her the simplest, most accurate answer you can. You might start w/ the idea that sex is a special way that a Mommy and Daddy hold eachother. If she is still interested in the details, I don't see why you shouldn't tell her that the Daddy is made specially to fit together w/ the Mommy. Again, if she asks for more detail, then I'd go on to say that the Daddy puts his penis in the Mommy's vagina. Honestly, I think kids won't ask the questions if they're not ready to hear the answers (on their level at least).

I believe that "the talk" should really be an open ended discussion starting at birth w/ naming the proper body parts, etc. As questions come up in childhood, you field them w/o fobbing your kids off. As your child grows, so does his/her knowledge. You will be able to be reasonably sure your child will feel comfortable discussing sex w/ you and listen to your opinion on the matter as you've long developed openness and trust.

Answer 3

I've had a toned down version of the sex talk with my daughter, same age. Some older kids on her bus were talking about sex and the younger ones were caught in the middle of the convo.I explained to her what sex is and where babies come from and then told her if she ever had any more questions to just come to me and ask. I don't want her to be ashamed of the topic or think its wrong to talk to me about. My mom always gave me vague information about sex when I asked questions and I became sexually active when I was 14, pregnant at 16. I think if my mom would have sat me down and answered my questions honostly rather than shew me away, I may not have been so inclined to find it all out on my own. Kids are having sex at younger ages these days and I think we need to be honost with them about the topic.

Answer 4

i disagree. You basically gave her the impression is dirty I would think. My daughter is seven and knows quite abit about it. I only answer her questions.. I don't bring it up or anything. By grade three or four they will be hearing about it on the playground and it will be part fact and part fiction. Sex is natural. Telling my kid about it is no big deal. It's part of life. Kids are more interested in the truth.. they want you to be honest, or they'll ask their friends. My daughter knows probably more then the other kids in her class.. but I am having a baby and so it came up. She doesn't know all of it of course. When she asks next time, I plan on saying something like, 'your body is ready earlier then your mind. Your body is ready for sex when you are a teenager. But your mind can't handle it until you are older'.. that is pretty much the truth... especially for girls. Funny thing is that girls used to have sex with their husband at 15 and didnt' know a thing. Now the kids are physcially ready at 15, and they know all the information.. but aren't ready in their minds and aren't mature enough... our soceity nowaday has people maturing slower (which isnt' a bad thing).. but it does off set the mind and body's correlation for sex readiness.. make sense? lol.. I am kinda analytical

Answer 5

Well, she's probably more confused than she was before. Children of this age don't need to know excatly what sex is but if they ask that means they are curious. You answered her question without even acknowledging her question. I wouldn't say you were wrong but I think you could have handled it a bit better. I know she surprised you but you could have taken a few minutes to think about your answer. She's coming to you with serious questions, make sure you don't let her down now, or she will stop coming to you.

Answer 6

NOPE--and you already said it...they hear it in school and on the playground--we all did--you just don't remember. proper names for the organs and proper names for the functions---you're right--that's what got her here. Remind her that women and men in LOVE do sex--not just anyone at anytime. Love is an emotion---made up of respect, caring, honor, dignity , integrity, communications, and fidelity---you have lots to talk about----you can do it. The privacy thing and no bad touching should be brought up a lot in this day and age. Nothing scary--but drive home the safe side of this life. Good luck

Answer 7

I have 4 kids 2 of them are girls. this is a topic that you want them to come to you about. not someone else. She will hear about it soon enough and more than likely already has, be upfront but remain tasteful. simply put you want her to trust you and when she is older and the subject comes up in a real life situation that she is facing then you need to have already prepared her for it. The heat of the moment isn't the time to make that kind of decision.
there are some great books on the subject, and always promote abstinence over safe sex. there are so many fewer emotional complications. (but that's for a bit older conversation).
Hope this helped

Answer 8

there nothing wrong with telling your child that. i believe in telling children the truth if they ask. Depending on the age just say it as simple as you can. If the child doesn't want to know more that don't worry about it. If you don't tell your child they will ask someone else. Often friends who don;t always know the right answer, then that can give the child the wrong image. did you also explain that sex can refer to gender. As in what is your sex?

Answer 9

Be honest with her, give her a short answer and if she is not satisfied with that she will ask more questions. Dont make sex out that its a "bad" thing to talk about. I dont think you were right telling her that sex is a word for big people, maybe something that big people do would have been better.

Answer 10

Very good answer I thought. Might have told her sex is what determines if you are a boy or a girl: boys are male sex, and girls are female sex. It's odd, but small children only know they are boy or girl because their mother told them they were. My daughter asked point blank like that one day at lunch "What is f...k?" And while we were beating around the bush and agonizing over what to say, she said her friend "...says it when a boy puts his thing in a girls thing" And I only had to say, "Yes. That's what it is." And she laughed, and said, "I thought she was lying." And was satisfied.