My boyfriend is 26, and long story short...loves beer. He has drank a 12 pack EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the past 5 years. He stopped for only one month once he found out he had diabetes...but now he's jumping right back on the bandwagon. At first...he used to be a "functional drunk"...I guess he drank so much for so long you couldn't tell if he was sober or messed up. But now that he's getting back into it, he is bi-polar or something...total attitude problem and crabiness. Can anyone else share some insight or experiences?
2007-03-19 18:00:27 · 7 answers · asked by tinkerbell_pixy24 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have dealt with alcoholism twofold. I had to live with MYSELF for many years, now am in a good recovery, thanks to AA. Now I am dealing with my husbands alcoholism, and look a attitude problem and general crabbiness is only the beginning. As alcoholism is a progressive disease, it can get much worse than that, so I would seriously think about being with this man for a long term relationship. There is nothing you can do or say to an alcoholic until they hit 'rock bottom' and only then may they think that perhaps they have problem. So if you feel he is going to continue drinking I am afraid you have some serious thinking to do, and I hope you make the right choice for You. There is also a organisation called Al-Anon, which is very helpful for people coping with someone elses alcoholism. I wish you all the best.
2007-03-19 18:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by judles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am married to an ex- alcoholic. He never really drank at home but when he stopped downtown after work or was on a pool or dart league he never knew when to quit. He would be shooting badly in darts so then he would have a shot for "aiming fluid" along with whatever he was already drinking. Unless you are prepared to deal with this you best bet is to tell him you are leaving until he is ready to stay sober. My husband got two DUI's less than an hour and 10 minutes a part and this was his wakeup call. He has not touched a drop of alcohol since then and servered his jail time on home detention. He has been sober now for 7 years. Tell your boyfriend that you will not sit by and watch him drink his life away and then follow through. Until he is ready to quit drinking your best bet is to get out of this relationship for now.
2007-03-20 01:14:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend for 5 years who drank at least a fifth of booze a day, or more. It was a living nightmare, and it sure caused me endless heartache. There was no pleasing her, and a guaranteed argument every day. Nothing ever helped. The only thing that worked was to break up. Sad...but I sure learned alot about what I want and about myself. I do like to drink, but I give myself a break. I couldn't drink around her though.
2007-03-20 01:13:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes...you have it pretty well nailed...your friend is an alcoholic.
He can & should be admitted to an alcohol & drug abuse unit in a private or state hospital.
They will help him detox without pain, get into AA meetings, make friends with other guys like himself who are sober-drunks, etc.
As for you, your choices are easier: begin attending Al-Anon meetings ASAP.
These groups are for family & friends of alcoholics.
They help us learn how we are enabling the alcoholic to continue to drink.
And they help us learn how to STOP doing just that very thing.
If your friend has no insurance, he can admit himself to the state psych hospital with wonderful results.
If he refuses to do this, you'll need to have one of his parents sign a consent form for a "coroner's committment".
If he isn't willing to do any of these things, you have two choices:
You can stand by and watch him kill himself---which will not take long since he's a diabetic.
Or, you can walk away knowing you did everything possible to help him help himself.
As hard as this is to do.....and I know it is heartbreaking because I've had to do it....
you need to constantly tell yourself that you did it because you love him; because you're not willing to be a partner to his self-destruction; and because you believe you may be able to do him more good by leaving than by staying...which is, in fact, the truth.
Continue to attend Al-Anon meetings, read books on co-dependency, and pray for him to find a mentor, a sponsor, a sober alcoholic, who will show him the way back onto the path of life...
Our prayers are with you both.
dave & patricia
2007-03-20 01:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by malachiwv 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father is an alcoholic, and his drinking became worse after my mum died. I wouldn't really say he was an alcoholic as such, as he doesn't drink during the day, but he does become really violent after a few.
He was always angry, nothing I did was good enough (definatly a sign of alcholism)...
Due to alot of things I had been through when my mum died (I was 15) I had to drop out of school.
I went back when I was 19 to try and finish my year 12 certificate (at tafe).
(I got an "A" on an assignment (I'd never been an A student before, usually C's, sometimes D's) - This was not good enough, and accused me of cheating.)
I never got the chance to finish tafe either, because my dad would get drunk and interupt me during study or working on assignments.
He would try to pick fights with me, sometimes he would hit or strangle me. The worst part was that he called me "stupid", "that I'd never amount to anything, why did I bother trying", "sl*t", etc... at first I didn't believe him, but over time I started to.
Anyway, he kicked me out on the streets on and off since I was 15, finally when I was 19 or 20 (during my studies) he acused me of something I didn't do (what he accused me of was quite pathetic, and wouldn't have bothered a sane person anyway), he became psychotic was slamming my bedroom door in (I'd locked myself in my room to try to avoid getting hit) trying to break my bedroom windows etc, I (luckily had a phone with me) called the police - but they didn't come for ages. So I grabbed a bag, packed it and escaped.
He almost ruined me mentally and messed up my chances of completing school twice.
I haven't seen or spoken to my dad in over 2 years now. He almost turned me crazy, I'm getting over it now.... but I'll never be able to forgive or forget what he did.
My mother would of killed him for what he had done, had she been alive.
A person with an addiction needs to REALLY want to help themself.
If you don't want something simular or worse to happen in the future to yourself or your children, I would leave him. It might be the wake-up call he needs to stop his destructive behaviour.
You can call an alcoholic hotline, see doctors and try to get him to face his problem, but what it comes down to is if he cares about his health, your life together or would rather be a lonely alcoholic.
If you can, move in with some friends or family.
I know you love him, and help him if you want, but really it needs to be him that wants the help.
Hope some of this has helped you. Goodluck sweety.
2007-03-20 01:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Trout Pout (Lollie) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have...it's very frustrating for those around the alcholic. Until he wants to change, there's not alot you can go...try finding a support group through AA for you. Does he realize that if he's on bi-polar medication, alcohol can affect it? Try to get him some help, if he'll take it.
2007-03-20 01:06:10 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes my dad is an alcoholic, although he won't admit it. he's been drinking for longer than i've been alive and i don't think he will ever stop drinking. he is a nasty drunk and gets very cheeky. i have never lived with him but see him a lot. if he goes for one day without a drink, he takes a fit.
2007-03-20 09:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by sara f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋