I'm in High school and my parents are strict. it's about relationships.. my parents wants me to have a boyfriend ONLY after college (you see how long i have to wait?!), but the problem is i already have one.. i like him but im scared my parents will find out. Especially my stepdad! alot of our schoolmates knows that we're together (w/ the guy) . i'm just scared my mom's going to find out 'coz she has friends in school. and what if my classmates are going tell? or teachers??? or that girl whom i hate will tell her mom and her mom will tell my mom! ...pls help!!!
...and what should i do and say when they find out??
........oh, and advicing me that they would understand will not solve my problem, if ever they find out, they are STRICT!!! military-kind of strict! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-19 17:47:41 · 23 answers · asked by inluv.. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ur parents r probably worried that with a bf, fornication will be introduced.and with that door opened up comes a lot of responsibility that u may not be ready for. it's important for young ppl to have relationships or be involved in casual relationships(not necessarily bf/gf). if u seriously insist that u r ready for a bf than think about it THOROUGLY. think about y ur parents may be concerned and think about the reasons that u want to have a bf or the reasons that they shudnt be concerned.present ur case in reasonable and cosnsiderate manner. ur parents will recognize ur maturity and it may sway their decision of not allowing u to date.
if it helps i didnt have a bf until i went to college. i joke that bc of that i was a lil socially retarted.lol! but honestly i dont regret it. try group dating. that may ease ur parents minds and its a lot of fun and best of all eases the pressure to be someone ur not..best wishes!
2007-03-27 07:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by B C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents a boy friend as a distraction, and even if they are not real parents they are the one who are trying to give you a head start to a good life. If they are strict maybe they know your the kind of person who needs a extra push, hey they know you will date in college(so did they) they just want you to get there and finish(it's not easy to go back if you drop out) being strict is to get you to focus on your goals, but let be real here once your in college you can date the whole damn school and all your parents could do about it is stop paying for it.
2007-03-26 08:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by wiggliy66 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In Luv, what's this rush to have a boyfriend? You have your full life still ahead of you. I can understand that you like the boy, but sadly, you're also living under the roof of your parents. It's their rules you should follow. I'm guessing that hiding this matter will not work for long, as something's bound to give. Plus, it's giving you the jitters. This is not good for you, and will disrupt your academic studies.
You should understand why your parents are giving you certain constraints when it comes to relationships. First and foremost, they're concerned about your studies and how it will be affected if you begin having a boyfriend at such a tender age. Put yourself in your parent's stead, and I'll bet you that they won't seem so strict and cruel after all.
It would really be nice if you can have the cake and eat it too, but in this case, I'm voting for your parents. See here, your love for your parents must win over your boyfriend.
2007-03-19 18:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Dowland 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you have two options: tell them or break up with him.
oh yeah, FYI, you hiding your relationship will only fuel the fire. You're just giving them a reason NOT to trust you. Sorry but being sneaky gets you no where. So you need to either talk (yes communicate!) with them and stand your ground. Persuade them and show them that you are a young adult and capable of making responsible decisions. Come to a middle ground with them. Negotiate. You can tell them that since your mom has friends within the school and most likely your friends are her friends kids. You could do group dating. All your friends go out to the movies or to the mall in group and you, with your parents permission, can go with your bf. Let them meet him. Have him come over sometimes at a decent hour to watch a movie in the living room. Let your parents feel safe that you will never be alone with him to put their minds at ease by doing these things. Do you get what I mean? Think this over and before going to your parents to discuss the issue make sure you have all your suggestions in order. So here are some to recap:
1. group date in public places
2. let them meet him
3 invite him to your home WHEN PARENTS ARE HOME ONLY (for dinner, studying in kitchen, movie in living, etc.) totally within eyesight of parents
i'm 22 years old so i totally know where you're coming from. my teenage years aren't too far behind me. hope this helps and good luck!
2007-03-19 18:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by #2 on the way! due 12/28 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are doing what they think is best for you. There is a saying "When in doubt do without." You are in doubt about this perhaps it is best if you listen to your parents and do what they say. It will not hurt you and if anyone makes fun of you listening to your parents then they are just being silly. If you are commited to having a boyfriend then you need to speak to your parents on their level. Explain CALMLY how you feel and what you think should happen. Explain that you are not out for sex drugs and rock and roll but that it is a simple way for you to get to know someone. Explain that you can date in groups if they are afraid and that you will go to public places. Perhaps if you use the word chaperone they may be more inclined to see things your way. If they do not then it is best if you listen to your parents.
2007-03-26 21:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try telling them. Right now it seems you spend more time worrying about it than actually enjoying it.
But I think you should keep your relationships casual, more like friends than boyfriends. They want what's best for you. They want your focus to be where it should be and not on serious relationships, which by the way are not always that serious in high school.
Ask yourself this....Do you want to risk your relationship with your parents for some boy you may not remember in 3 years?
Or are you trying to gain freedom from them? If that's it I would explore other things. your boyfriend in the end may not be worth the anguish.
2007-03-19 17:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by LaLa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love I beleive is something you can not wait for, theres a chance he will lose interest in you and move on and you're parent's also have to realize they can only control you're life to a certain extent and love is something that cannot be touched.
how would they feel if they can't see each other until they retire for example, they would absolutely hate it, try to use examples of some kind like there past and ask if they would have been able to do this because this is a lot to ask for.
holding back for love until after collage is ridiculous, i'm sorry but you're parent's are doing some really bad thinking here.
sure it's there house there rules but you could be letting you're future husband walk away!
if you can not solve this, at least keep his phone #
2007-03-19 17:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by the_peg_rox05 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are a senior and in the last leg of high school there really isnt anything they can say. i was in the military and i dont do that with my kids. my 15 yr old daughter told us she is bi and likes both and we just said that she needs to think it through fully. as far as you i can only say that if your community is that close you are lucky that they dont know already. as far as till you are out of college well they dont have that kind of say unless you let them. they might just be worried that a guy will drop your grades. keep them up and show them that you are still into school and just play it by ear. if they ask then tell them how long and show them that your grades havent suffered and they should not have any problems but if they do then hold off till you are out of the house then pick up where you left off
2007-03-19 17:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by wlfbelcher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your parents and you.
I was a little strict and very protective with my two daughters until they were about 16.
I'm not suggesting that parents are always right with their rules and regulations...but, someone has to guide a young person...and I believe that loving parents can be very helpful.
Try not to hate!
You don't have to dump your boyfriend. Just cool it. I believe that you do not understand your parents' concerns and conditions.
By your writing information, it appears that you are too young and immature to understand your parents' concerns!
2007-03-27 03:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by bob P11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived next door to someone about 20 years ago that is in you r same situation. She never dated or was hardly allowed to look at boys while living at home. She is now on her fourth husband and 8th child. She claims she is making up for lost time. If your parents find out, explain to them on their level, how you feel. Tell them when you turn 18 it won't be their choice. Just be ready to move out though. I was a Army brat myself but my parents understood when I sat down, (without yelling) and told them how I felt. Have you tried that? Ask them how old they were when they met and started dating.
2007-03-27 08:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋