im going out with my first love from 4 yrs ago.
the truth is i love him as much as i loved him back then, but the things he does are finally getting to me as opposed to being blind like before.two weeks ago,i started to notice that he doesnt take me out or tries to make up for the time we dont see each other as we work in different cities and we just see each other ever other weekend.he asks me to pay for things and he pays for others which are minumum with the excuse he is broke but then again he does go out with his buddies and im sure he spends lots.makes me realize that maybe he doesnt think im worth it to treat me right. hes distant when were not together but just a bit warmer when we are.im the one who goes to him when we c each other because he has no transportation and i pay for it while hes too busy to even ask how im doing on a daily basis. how can i change this without sounding dramatic?i want to work this out but i seem to be the only one treating him like a kinng.
2007-03-19 17:18:37 · 8 answers · asked by tarie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've learned this much about people.....they take you for granted if you take you for granted. If you make everything so easy for him how do you expect him to react?
You need to assert yourself. You need to ask without nagging or demanding. Be clear about what you want and if it's not followed through pull back a little. Do things that are gonna make you happy in-between the times your giving him time to reflect. One mistake a lot of us women make is that we become way to accessible and men being the at ease creatures that they are, will forget that it's not about making things easier for them.
If during the time when you've given him "space" he seems even more distant, don't panic. Give the "space" more time.
The bad news is in the end you might find yourself losing him, but ask yourself.......Is that what you really wanted? To be taken for granted.
And if you've used your time wisely while in "space" mode, you'll find that there are other things that you want more.
The good news is, he may realize that you need a little bit more than he's giving.
Basically, let him work for you....you deserve it.
2007-03-19 17:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by LaLa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve him. Let him go and find another one that will treat you really special. Don't expect that he loves you the same way you love him. You are on denial if you say that. And besides, in a relationship both should satisfy each others need. You satisfy him but he doesn't even care to satisfy you. He is taking advantage of you because he knows you really love him. The more you hold on to the relationship, the more you get hurt. It would be smart if you stop it and cry on it. After that, move on.
2007-03-20 00:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Masyaw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sort of been there done that, look at it this way, if you stay one year from now your situation will not get better at least u could look back and say wow i feel bad for whoever hes with now, but u'll be released from wondering, someone that sort of likes u or sort of loves u, doesn't really like/love u. leave now y there's still some peace, i was once in a relationship and knew from the very beginning that it was bad, i always say theres a red flag in the BEGINNING, trust me they r gonna keep popping up. turn the tables and ask yourself if you were him and vice versa would he even question staying with u, crap no, he's using u, as women, if we use our sixth sense, INTUITION, we could rule the world, i swear!!!!!!! u really do have the answer in your heart, follow it
2007-03-20 00:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by ilovehair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like you need to be honest with him and let him know
that you dont like the way this is going, it take two to make
arealtionship, if you are treating him like a king, then if you
are his queen he should be treating you the same way.
time to put the card on the table once and for all.
2007-03-20 00:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, you need to see him for who he really is. ask yourself is this what kind of relationship you are looking for? it won't work out if only one person is trying no matter how much you tell yourself it is. good luck, cause he sounds like a looser to me
2007-03-20 00:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can really do is try to talk to him
if that doesnt work maybe its time you find someone who will treat you just as good as you treat them.
hope this helps...good luck sweetie
2007-03-20 00:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♫§weetTart§amantha♫♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-03-20 00:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by maki" The time begins Now 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blessing u!
2007-03-20 00:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by tom king 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋