all these people from my past are calling me and e mailing me and congradulating me about my engagement and are asking me tones of questions, like whens the wedding, enegagement party, etc... i wasnt planning on telling them the good news because i didnt want to invite them to my wedding, do i have to now? would it be really f###ed up if i didnt?
2007-03-19 16:37:50 · 10 answers · asked by bar22bie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are not obligated to invite anyone to the wedding other than your soon to be spouse and a handful of witnesses..
Old friends may ask questions out of curiosity, but that does not mean you should invite.
A wedding is this - a gathering of people who support the bonding of two lives joining forever.
Invite only those that you feel will support your marriage with love, wisdom, and support throughout the rough times of your marriage. All others may want a "show to go to"... but that is NOT what a marriage is.
Tell friends that are interested that you are having an intimate family gathering, do not for a moment feel obligated to invite, "just because".... you certainly aren't getting married "just because" allow for the theme to follow through with who you invite.
And congratulations to you both, I wish you blessings and happiness in your lives together.... CW
2007-03-19 16:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by Craptacular Wonderment 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. I am having the same problem. Friends of mine from years ago are all of a sudden calling me and saying how happy they are for me and acting like we're the best of friends. Some have even been so bold as to say "I'd better be invited".
So no, you don't have to invite them all. Thank them for the cards/congrats. And simply explain to them that you're having a small wedding in a site that has limited seating. That you wish you could invite everyone, but that between his family and yours you're limited to how many friends you can invite so you're keeping it very simple. How expensive the wedding is and how you can't afford to invite everyone either.
Fact is if you invite everyone you've ever met to your wedding just because you feel guilty you'll end up with a way crowded wedding and probably not too happy that a lot of people you didn't really want there are there.
For some reason weddings bring out the need for old friends to keep in touch, but it's not necessary to invite every old friend that congratulates you.
2007-03-19 16:46:34 · answer #2 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if these people from your past ask -- you can share some details with them. There is NO problems with that. You can always hint around that final numbers are being worked out, and depending on the venue, your guest list may be limited. You don't have to outright say "And you think you're getting invited??" =)' Most people undersand that weddings in general are VERY expensive, with per person charges for receptions being upwards of $50-90!!
I'm currently in the process of planning my wedding, and as others have mentioned -- I had the same kind of problem. My "essential family list" alone is 100 people! Do not worry about feeling bad if you don't want to or cannot invite them. You have the final say in who shares this extremely special day with you and your future spouse. Enjoy the day and have those there that you want to enjoy it with -- plain and simple.
Congrats!! I wish you much happiness, and enjoy your wedding day!
2007-03-19 17:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Just Gotta Know... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't invite them to any other events, like engagement parties, showers, etc. they don't require an invite to the wedding. It's your day, you should have the people you want there. Accept their congratulations, and answer their questions the best you can (I assume you know when the wedding is, but you could say you're not sure if there will be an engagement party).
2007-03-19 16:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was kind of in the same predicament when I got engaged. My fiance and I wanted to have a very small wedding with just immediate family and a few close friends and extended family members and co-workers were asking when and where the wedding was going to be so they could come. I just told them that we hadn't decided on what "type" of wedding we were planning to have, that we were thinking of going small, and hoped they would understand whatever our decisions were! Most everyone was o.k. with that. It's your wedding, you should invite (or not) whomever you wish.
2007-03-19 16:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there is nothing wrong with sharing your plans with those who ask. It doesn't mean that you have to invite them, I can relate I have several gf's from the past asking about wedding details and I have really fallen out of touch with them so I have no plans of inviting them to the actual wedding.
2007-03-19 16:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it would not me " messed " up if you didn't invite them to the wedding. Are they like friends, acquaintances, or close friends? That would determine to me how much info I shared with them. Such as close friends, I would tell them the date, but mention it is a small wedding with mainly family or something like that. If just acquaintance,,,,be appreciative of their congrats and all, but leave it at that if you don't wish to share any more info.
2007-03-19 16:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no just tell them that you don't have a date set yet and that you will let them know when you do. Then just don't send them invitations. I know it sounds mean or rude but thats what i did. Besides it is you wedding and if you don't want them there they shouldn't be there.
2007-03-19 16:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by josiesmom305 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you really dont have to invite them. After all it is you wedding
2007-03-19 16:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by mogmon35 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its your wedding dont invite them...just tell them you decided to keep it very small and intimate.
2007-03-19 17:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by mamaac43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋