here is the story, my husband hasnt seen or heard from his mother since he was about 5. just the other day he met 2 sisters that he didnt know he had, he has been trying to find his mother for years, and now that he met the two sisters(who are in foster care b/c mom is mia once again he really wants to find her more than ever, SO she ledt him with his dad when he was 5 and left these two girls with no one at all about 5 years ago... Horrible! SO the thng is I am trying to figure out some ways to locate her using the internet... I tried intellius... but it didnt help me much... I did find that she has a terrible criminal record and was in a jail in north carolina, it showed a pic of her and I showed my husband... i think i did the wrong thing... I feel so bad becuz he had the worst look in his eyes and he has been angry ever since. should i back off or should i look for her. if i going to continue to look what else do i do 2find her???
2007-03-19 16:24:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your hubby wants you to look then look but his wants and feelings should be first and foremost. It is only natural to want to know your parents...good or bad. Hopefully he is ready for anything bad and that people can inform him in a good way without judgements. Good or bad parents and children should have unconditional love. We may not respect everyones choices but we can still Love them.
2007-03-19 16:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by damommyxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off tell him he has no reason to be mad or ashamed of where he came from. Most of our ancestors raped and pillaged and burned and looted cities at some point in our history. The past is the past. He has a right to know his history, and curiousity is a very human trait. You should pursue it, though maybe not let him know you are until he expreses a renewed interest in it. As for where to look the best bet would be to call the actual police officers dealing with her cases. Ask around through them. follow all leads. If she's into criminal activities she will likely not be on the internet much unless she is into cyber crimes. Do track her down and when you find her just keep tabs on where she is. Let your husband know when he is ready to.
2007-03-19 23:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by Malcolm L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is pretty much up to your hubby. If he wants you to continue to look for her then go for it. You said she has been in jail/prison in NC..well...call the Probation department and find out if they can help you at all. Explain the situation and if they cannot give you the information, maybe they will contact her and give her your info.
Also, each state has a directory of sorts. You have to register with them and if his mom also registers they will send you the info on how to find her.
You can also search the web for adoption finders or the sort.
Im currently searching for my half brother and I know how exhausting the search can be...and I even know it is scary as all get out..mostly the unknown.
Good luck to you both.
Blessings...Lu
2007-03-19 23:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by LuLu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you can find out if she's still incarcerated somewhere, or she might be under a probation officer from her last episode in jail. Not sure where to look for that though, sorry!
I think for your husband, not knowing may be worse than knowing. At least he can know that he ended up in a better place because she left him.
2007-03-19 23:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was trying to find my Father in law years ago and found him ..When i contacted him he spoke to me but really didn't show much interest in meeting my Husband... i left it alone... He passed away last Sunday and my Husband went to the Funeral and met a bunch of relatives he didn't know he had... If it's meant to be it will be...Don't push it
2007-03-20 00:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, dont continue to search for her.Tell your husband we do not pick our parents.The people who raised him are his real parents and no matter how bad she is, at least she didnt abort him.I know he is hurting but he needs to be thankfull for what he has, not what he wishes could have been.He has you now and 2 sisters.Be happy for that.If he still wants to search for her, let him.Maybe she has changed, but if not he has to accept her as she is and get on with life.
2007-03-19 23:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's his mother, not yours. Back off, especially if it is making him mad. Some families are just disfunctional, and there's nothing that will make them Ozzie and Harriet ever again.
2007-03-20 10:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by joshnya68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋