What do you do when you are dating a guy that is in the process of a divorce and he wants to be with you and you want to be with him yet there are members of his family that think you are the bad person because he has kids and they think that he should be with his soon to be ex and his kids but he would rather be with you because you make him happier than he has ever been with his soon to be ex also take into consideration that we just bought a house together Please help me I dont know what to do!!!
2007-03-19 16:10:30 · 11 answers · asked by pinksmallbubbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you are already in it if you are in love with him. unfortunately, we can't choose who we love, or what situation we will be in when this happen.
it's expected for his family to be upset about this. no one wants to hear the word divorce especially when there are children in the mix. if i were in your situation, we the info that you gave i would stick it out. you will have to be patient even if it pains you. they are only seeing this from their angle. with time people tend to change their minds about things even if they say that it will never happen.
the sad thing is that you are in the other woman's shoes. just wear them the best way you can. love him to death, be kind and generous and even if they piss you off be the one to reach out to them. don't nag too much to him about how upset you are regarding his family and how they view you. you don't want to add more to his already full plate. you don't want him to dread coming home to you. he needs to have a place to rest his head, let it be you. your hurt and frustration you should let out with a friend or right here.
i hope this helps a bit. be happy.
2007-03-19 16:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by la21unica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore askyomo..Anyone who stays b/c of the kids will eventually in one way or the other resent the kids because they feel trapped in a situation they arent happy with.
Forget his family, you arent in love with them. Who gives a F*** about what they feel. All that matters is how u 2 feel about each other. Play nice with the ex (or at least in front of the kids) and dont bring up the issue with the man. Sore spots like that take time to heal. Congradulations on the new house!! Tough it out if you think your time will be well spent.
Good Luck Woman, you will NEED it.
2007-03-19 23:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by heatherclhn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i have been there. you may now feeling painful as you are not exactly in the right position. not that it is your fault cause you can never decide when to fall in love. but at the same time letting him go is as much painful cause it's hard to forget what you two had been through. To not make the situation worsen, go back a step. Leave him for the moment, and tell him to resolve all his problem and start anew with you. if really needs you, he will. if he insisted dragging you with all the commmotion, that simply means he doesn't even know or bother to protect you. then leave him. sell the house and split the money. do not ever let property to be your reason to stay, you'll regret.
2007-03-19 23:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean what do you do? If you have already bought a house together, a big step in my book, it seems you already know what to do. Your with him so stay with him and as long as the kids are happy, screw the rest of them. Just lay low and after the divorce is said and done the extended family will come around.
2007-03-19 23:18:21 · answer #4 · answered by sss_1122 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I'd be scared of with that type of relationship is a rebound. He and his wife may have been having marriage problems and you were there when his guard was down,you made him feel happy and he may think he's in love with you when all the while he's just a weak man and can't deal with problems well. But if you bought this home together for your sake I hope it was his idea and not yours. And with you asking this question I think it's a little late for questions when you already have the home.Maybe your having seconds thoughts. It won't be easy for you having another woman's husband especially with kids.But you make your bed it's only you who has to lie into it.Good -Luck.
2007-03-19 23:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by kipdawneast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't date him until several months after the divorce is finalized. But you bought a house with him so that's easier said than done. It sounds to me like he was having an affair with you. What makes you think he won't do the same to you? It just doesn't make sense to me. Expecially the house-buying situation. Probably not the brightest idea considering the circumstances.
2007-03-19 23:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by shamarsla21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a common feeling especially coming from family members..i know i felt that way when my uncle got divorced but you get over it.. but if your happy and hes happy then go for it with him dont worry about what anyone says they will get over it....once they see how happy he is then they will lay off......but good luck and enjoy ur new home
2007-03-19 23:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by fcukn princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, use some punctuation marks so I don't get confused when I'm reading your question.
It doesn't matter what they think, it's up to him. Try not to get in the way of the divorce, but if you love him- it's worth it. If it's just about sex, get our of there.
2007-03-19 23:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by panic!please 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a breath and then think the situation out...you wil know what the right thing to do is....if you have the best intentions they will work there way to the surface for everyone to see...
2007-03-19 23:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by HRcutie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from that situation. It will get ugly. There is too much baggage there.
2007-03-19 23:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Kevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋