step brother living with grandparents?

Question

my three young children have a 10 year old step brother living with my husbands parents he was put there bufore i met my husband because him and the mother were spliting up it was to be temparary but he grandmother will not give him back the mother does not want him but we have tried for 7 years but since they were not married the mother has all wrights and the mother wants him to stay to. but my question is is it ok not to tell my children that he is there half brother till they are old enough to understand my mother in law keeps telling them that this is your big brother but i think it is hurting not helping 2 kids are still to young to understand but i think it should stop for now.

Answer 1

Not true that the ex has all the rights. Your husband needs to get a lawyer and fight for custody. In most states it's the grandparents that have no rights what so ever.

I have two older half brothers (34 and 29) I'm 19. I always knew they were my half brothers and I'm fine. I don't see them as anything but my brothers because Half is only HALF the name. They have the same father, and what is really in a name? They are still going to have that bond that siblings have since they are having contact with him. Now, my daughter on the other hand will know her step-brother as her brother because my husband is adopting her. He even calls her his little sister already and she's not even here yet. He doesn't however call me mommy. It is also going to be up to my daughter if when she gets older (7-8) when she is told the complete story of why her brother lives in one place and we live in another, and is told why he calls me by my name and not mommy. She will get to choose whether she will call my husband Dad or if she will call him by his first name. More than likely since her biological father wants nothing to do with her then she will wind up calling him dad.....

But seriously go and talk to a lawyer most give free inital consoltations and the states normally have lawyers that you can contact to represent you if you meet certain criteria. His parents, and his ex aren't the only ones that have rights unless he signed his rights over or had them termenated by a court. That is a court issue, my ex-mother-in-law lost. She wanted custody and if the biological parent is willing to be there the states will 80% of the time give the child to the biological parent over the grandparents.

And I appologize for any misspellings, my spell checker isn't working for some reason.

Answer 2

If she doesn't want the child why is she being allowed to tell your husband that hs son cannot live with him? He should take BOTH his mom and his ex to court and fight for his son, or his son will think that he doesn't care about him. And, YES, they have the right to know that they have a brother (Don't call him a half-brother, it sounds impersonal), and they also have the right to get to know him as a brother.

Answer 3

i think that you should tell them that he is their 'special' brother and he lives somewhere else. it will be harder if you just pop it on them when they are older that they have another sibling.