Worst feeling/Memory after loosing your parent(s)?

Question

I lost my youngest brother, than my Mom , and then my Dad, in less than six months, this was three years ago. I am just starting to feel depression, and just thinking more about death, how to keep them in my son's memory (10 years old). I still feel empty. As I lost part of my heart, with every Death. More so my parents, as I thought they would live forever! I feel, now, since I am created by my parents, that when my Mom died, first, I lost half of my heart, than when my Dad died, I lost the other half. I am young, but just seems am just going through the stages, three years later! My son seems like is starting grieving more now, also. Always talking about about thing they said or the littlest things of food my Dad will give him when he was in the hospital, like the saltines, and til this day, he loves those little saltines, and he always thinks of his Pop Pop!
I know I am not alone. So, love to know what you all are feeling or felt. Thanks for your answers! (Hugs)

Answer 1

Gosh, I can understand how lost you must be feeling. It sounds like it's just now hitting home that they're gone. There is no time limit on grief, everyone goes through it at different paces. I know when my dad died (my mom died first) I felt really weird - even though I was an adult I felt like I was an orphan and all my roots had been chopped off. I felt abandoned and on my own for the first time in my life.

Through photos and shared memories with my sister and brother, I can keep their memory more alive.

My 7-yr-old son never met either of his grandparents, so that's sad for me, but I do talk about them and what kind of people they were. We look through photo albums from time to time, just so he knows he is connected to something larger than just he and I.

Don't forget to ask for help if your depression feels like it's spiraling out of control. You can always seek therapy and/or medication, even for short-term needs.

Answer 2

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother suddenly at the age of 45, when I was 18. I've found that writing can be very theraputic. Like when you're feeling down, write a letter to your Mother, Father, and Brother. Instead of writing how much you miss them, write "remember the time when...." It might make you cry, but it will also put a smile on your face. Or make a memorial scrap book for them.
I know that nothing can make the pain go away completly though. I still have that empty spot in my heart for my mom, and I always will. Initially after she passed away, I had some guilt about "I could have done this...I could have done that" but that doesn't do any good. Just keep your head up and remember the good times you all had together. Like I said, the pain will never be completly gone, but it WILL keep getting better, and you WILL slowly move on with your life little by little. I don't know your family, but I'm sure they only want for you to be happy. So don't give up hope!!

Answer 3

It always feels like losing a part of your heart. It is also much easier to give advises to others than face these kind of things ourselves, I know. We all know death is normal, and every being that was born to this world has to leave, and not necessarily in the order we came. However when it happens to your loved ones it is always hard to convince yourself that that is the way things were supposed to be. In fact, very often life is not fair, and that is really not the way it was supposed to be, but there's nothing we can do about it.

You can't really measure love with percentages of your heart. 50% goes to mom, the other 50% goes to dad... What is left for your son then? The thing is, every time I lose somebody I feel like 100% of my heart is gone, but then when I realize there are still people around me, I feel like they are also 100%. I don't know if that made any sense.

All you can do is go on with your life and be good to the ones that are still around you and need you. I suppose after a while you'll remember the funny things you did with your parents and brother, and will rather smile than cry when you think about them.

Answer 4

First off Sorry for your losses ~:{
You & others in your family are your parrents best legacy.
When I was 16 my Dad died then 6 months latter My Grandpa, his Dad died.
Then when I was 40 My sister's son died, 6 weeks after that my Mom died.
It's never easy, ever. I never got over the deaths I just got use to it.
When your son talks about his Pop Pop he keeps the person alive. Our memories of loved ones become warm spots in our hearts.
Sometime you & your son might do some of the things your dear ones liked to do.
Here are some Warm Fuzzies for the 2 of you.

Answer 5

Your not alone, I lost my mom in 90 my dad in 92 then my husband in 93, at that time my daughter was 10 when her dad passed away but today she is 24 and she STILL remembers him and my mom and dad.. I had 5 years that were SO rough and I will be honest in telling you it STILL HURTS.. When the hormones are unbalanced during that time of the month all I have to do is think of one of them and I start crying.. I was close to my parents, and to lose both of them so closely together I felt like God was picking on me then when I lost my husband I KNEW he was picking on me. It took alot for me to believe that it was just their time and there work here was done I was raised I had a decent job and all of thier jobs were completed, although you still have a son that needs you so desperatly he needs you to teach him to be a man and to grow up stong and loving .. You will be the only link he has in remembering his grandparents so keep pictures on the wall or on the mantel.. If you have viseo tapes maybe show them to him every once in a while.. and say remember when grampa took you to.... remember when grandma made that........ so on and so forth...But you are strong and you can do this.. Your job here is not finished and you have to be strong for him, Not saying it doesnt hurt because hun I know it hurts like he ll, But they are around you and they are watching over you and your son.. So just prove them right by being the best Mom you can be and make them proud.. Good Luck..

Answer 6

You are their legacy!!! They wouldnt want to see you this unhappy!!! They would have done everything in their power to keep you happy so atleast for their sake be happy. Its okay to grieve but it is also important to carry on with your life for your son's sake. Think about all the good memories you had with them and relive those.

Get up, wear that smile your parents gave you and do something that would've made them proud of you. You have to be a strong role model for your son. Life and death is the circle of life. Its your turn now to complete the circle.

Take care and many hugs to you too! I am sure you will emerge out strong!

Answer 7

i'm truly sorry about your losses,i lost my mom when i was 20,i'm now 35 she died of breast cancer i know how you feel and they say time heals well in my case it seems the longer she's been gone the more pain i feel one thing i hold on to is one day being able to see her again in eternal lfe.

Answer 8

You have had an enormous amount of loss in a very short time, I suggest grief counseling for you and your son.