ok, i know i can be the typical bridezilla ( i mean its my special day, and i will only have on in my lifetime, so i want it to be special) but my mom is taking everything over. she never had a big wedding and i feel she is using me as her way to get to have that wedding she never had. i just got engaged last week and she wont even let me input any ideas for my engagement party? i feel i cant say anything becuase she is giving us a but of money for this wedding, but so are my fiancees parents and they arent acting this way.
2007-03-19 15:47:45 · 8 answers · asked by bar22bie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
she has dreamed of the day her daughter would get married from the day you were born.....relax; it is not just your day; you need to just have a talk with her over lunch and not be hateful or hurtful or a brideziila; and actually the engagement party is not suppose to be planned by you; it is given in your honor by the parents.
2007-03-19 15:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have the say in the wedding planning but if your parents are throwing you an engagement party then its THEIR party and you are just the guest of honor. Appreciate their generosity with the engagement party, remind your mom that you are grateful but you and your fiance have already made alot of decisions as far as the wedding is concerned and you know that if you need any opinions she is the one you'll go to. Be honest but flattery will get you farther than being defensive. If you have major problems hire a wedding planner....they're pros at handling stuff like that!
2007-03-19 17:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by GAjen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. When i got engaged my mother tried to tell me exactly how MY wedding was supposed to be. Down to telling me that my wedding should be in NYC where i grew up even though i live 4 hours away from there now.
What i suggest is sitting your mother down and just explaining to her that you feel that you're being left out of the planning of your own wedding. Thank her for helping financially but remind her that it's your day. And that she didnt' get the wedding that she dreamed of and that she's causing you to not have the wedding that YOU dreamed of. That you love her and respect her opinons but that you have your own ideas of what you want to happen at your wedding.
Also make a point to tell her that you want her to be a part of certain things that you have planned for her alone. But that you would like to plan the wedding with her HELP alone. Not her taking over. That again, it's your day, and you want to have a wedding that represents you and your fiance. Not what your mother thinks will be best for you both.
2007-03-19 16:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, firstly no one can make you do anything if you are a mature, independent woman. However, you and your guy should be paying entirely for your own wedding, so you can plan everything you want your way - of course, with respect being given to family wishes.
As for the engagement party, that is thrown for the couple, so you just need to show up.
Good luck, and calm down, eh?
2007-03-20 00:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set some ground rules NOW before it gets any worse. I understand that you do not want to hurt your mom's feelings and you do not have to. You need to sit her down and talking straight from your heart tell her how she is making you feel. Tell her that you understand her wanting to make your day special and you appreciate that. But this is your wedding and you want it your way. I think she will understand and back off a little bit. Maybe give her something special to do for you. Either way don't come across as unappreciative. Let her know that you appreciate all of her input but you want your wedding day to go your way. I think all will work out.
2007-03-19 16:02:29 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
wow you are bringing back memories. I know she is paying for it and all but you have to figure out away to talk to her now or it will get out of control. I had a traditional 250 guest catholic wedding big huge wedding gown with the train that went the length of the aisle 6 bridesmaids etc etc. It was most little girls wedding they dream of but not mine. I wanted like 50 guests, on a beach with a very small reception. I didn't get it and 14 years later I regret not standing up for myself. I do have to say the most important thing was who I married but I still wish my mom would have let me have it my way. Her exact quote ,"its not just about you ya know" she was living out her dream wedding. I had guests there that were strangers to me that my mom worked with. You can talk to her nicely and tell her that you love her input and advice and appreciate her helping finacially but you have had your dream wedding planned since little like all girls do and tell her what you want.
2007-03-19 15:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is not taking over your wedding.
She is planning an engagement party for you.
I would just let her plan your engagement party.
If she starts planning the wedding, then I would speak up.
2007-03-20 01:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. And remember, it is also her only chance to see you get married. Try to include her and it may help her to keep from inserting herself. You have to talk to her or you will explode out of anger and cause dammage. Find a time you are not emotional or angry about her behavior and talk to her camly about how you feel.
2007-03-19 15:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋