i just told my bf of 4 years that i wanted a break to think about my sexuality.he was very dissapointed cos he was thinking about getting married.He says he does not want to see me anymore. I have not been feeling well of late and i just decided to do a pregnancy test cos my friend suggested it.well i have done it 4 times and it all says i am pregnant.i am going to get another one done.what should ido?he does not want to see me.he is not even picking up his phon.please give me only serious advice!
2007-03-19 15:42:37 · 12 answers · asked by Chelseachic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Baby girl, tell him you are sorry but there is a REALLY good explaination for your decision. HORMONES!!! He may be in shock for a lil bit, but Im sure he will propose in the near future
Go to him and spill the beans, cry a little
He will probably hold you and tell u itll all be ok. He really needs to know
2007-03-19 15:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by heatherclhn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your situation but you can't really blame him for being upset. How would you feel after devoting 4 years to him and all of a sudden he said he needed a break to think about his sexuality because he is gay or bi when you thought he was straight the whole time. He is understandably very hurt and has been betrayed.
If you have taken 4 tests and they are all positive you probably are pregnant. If you are it is up to you to decide what is best.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and if you have a baby there are a lot of single parents and couples rather they are straight are not.
The most important thing is whether you may work it out one day with him or remain apart...the childs well being and interests come first and the child has a right to he/shes father.
Sorry again...hope everything works out and best of luck.
2007-03-19 22:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is this old saying that "you have made your bed, now you have to lie in it".
It was your choice to break the relationship, not his. It was your choice to think about your sexuality, not his. It was your choice to hurt him, not his. Now, to hell with all you did, now you want to get back with him because you're pregnant. If I were him, I'd say "go away".
You have two choices. One, you can deal with it all yourself. Raise the child or get it aborted. Or you can go the legal route and get a lawyer for financial support. You're in one heck of a mess, but honestly, you don't have anybody to blame but yourself. Yes, it was his sperm, but I'm sure you let him and he didn't rape you.
I'm a teacher and I tell my students everyday that people's actions always bring consequences. Usually, positive actions bring positive consequences. You're finding out the opposite is true too.
In closing, you need to decide what you want from the guy. Do you want:
a. A relationship.
b. Money
c. To pay for an abortion.
After you decide what you want, then try to figure out how you get there. Again, you have the legal route, but if you go that route, remember the baby's dad will resent you. This is very complicated cause you don't even know if this guy has moved on (per your forcing him to do) and is now in another relationship.
I'm sorry for your trouble, but hopefully, other young ladies will read your situation here and it will prevent them from being in your situation in the future.
2007-03-19 23:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is to go see a doctor to find out if you are truly pregnant.
If you are indeed pregnant, which there is a good chance, you have to decide if you want to have the child or have an abortion.
If you do have the child, he will have to pay child support regardless of how he is treating you now. The courts will not let him get away like this.
Having a child is a good thing. You are bringing someone into the world and if you do decide to have it, I wish you luck. Don't let the child grow up with a bad father.
2007-03-19 22:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Kevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hindsight is 20/20. Another test isn't gonna change the results. Your pregnant girl. Well if he isn't picking up your calls, leave him a message. What else can you do honey? It's then up to him to call you back. When you tell someone that you want to take a break to feel out your sexuality, it hurts the other party. Be prepared for scathing remarks and disbelief, and the dreaded "are you sure it's mine?" I can almost guarantee you're gonna get these when you do get a call back. Try to remember that you are the one who wanted a break and it seems like he is giving you exactly what you asked for.
2007-03-21 11:05:44 · answer #5 · answered by Sabra M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't answering the phone send a message or letter he will probably read because he doesn't have to respond. Tell him that ur pregnant if he still doesn't call tell someone he is close to like parents or close friend they might try to get through to him.
Everything after that depends on u and him
2007-03-19 22:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by Khalid R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is angry and confused, it seems. To be told that your gf wants a break to explore her sexual preference is one thing, a big blow to the ego, but to then learn that on top of all that he is to become a father and responsible for another human being? I say he will probably come around, but will need some time to process the reality of what you have told him.
2007-03-19 22:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by fitMel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave a message on his phone telling him you guys need to seriously talk. Let him know it's urgent. I think he has every right to know about the pregnancy whether or not you're keeping it or not. Tell him that he means a lot to you in your life but you need some time to think things over, discover yourself, and that you want him to be apart of your life whether your together or not.
2007-03-19 22:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and get your pregnancy test done with a doctor and can confirm that he is the father then I suggest, you try to talk to him again. If he switches off the phone, then try texting me. Tell him you need to speak to him urgently.
2007-03-19 22:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u are realli pregnant then you should find sum way to tell him im pretty sure if you told him that he wouldnt ignore you or not want to se you after all he might be caring your baby...and he did want to get married if i wer you i would jus sit down and talk to him...seems like thers alot to talk about and talking is the only way to realli help any relationship
2007-03-19 22:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋