My BF now my fiancee has been talking to this female?

Question

on the phone but he stopped for a while. i recently checked our cell phone bill and he had talked to her for 3hrs on his cellphone. i asked him about and he tells me its only TALKING!!! Am i wrong for getting upset about this issue?

Answer 1

There are a lot of people out there that wouldn't be upset about their fiancee talking for that long to another person, and good for them if that's the case. However, you got upset (which I completely understand), and I think the real issue is about why he doesn't take your feelings into consideration after you've told him how you feel about it. It's not about whether or not you should be upset about him talking to this other female, it's about whether or not you should be upset because he doesn't seem to care about your feelings.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you guys need to talk about it, talk about why it makes you uncomfortable and what you BOTH can do about it. Him saying that 'it's only talking' just sounds to me like he's real dismissive about how you feel in the situation.

Answer 2

I would be upset if my boyfriend was on the phone talking for 3 hrs to a girl that i knew nothing about. You don't say anything about how long he has known her or where he met her. Why don't you ask to meet her and ask him all about her like what she is like and anything you may want to know about her. If he is unwilling to allow you to meet her or unwilling to answer any of your questions then i would certainly question what is happening. Does he get all defensive when you ask about her? If you have her number why don't you ring her and ask her exactly what is goin on, maybe he is keeping her in the dark about you. This is very hard cause it may just be innocent or it could be alot more, either way your bf owes you some answers and it's up to you to get them out of him. Good luck but be strong and stand up for your rights as his fiancee.

Answer 3

You have the right to be upset but hope you be calm too. I have the same situation like u b4. My way to settle this was to talk with my BF. I told him that I'm feel insecure with this relationship if his hidden something from me & i don't wish to suffer more. We had our communication with peace and calm environment, coz this the better way to know what's happening. Is better that shouting each other or crying for sympathy. Atleast I know now better then when we have got married. At the end, I have all my answer without asking any details. Hope this can help you, Good Luck.

Answer 4

No, you're not wrong for getting upset. If she's not a secret in your fiance's life, then you should know her name, where they met, how long they've been friends, how often they talk, what they talk about, etc. without having to ask your fiance for details -- he should be supplying it freely. I could say that you should be more confident or trusting, but skip it. The reality is that you're suspicious and any woman in your situation would be (whether they admit it or not). Trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right. Your suspicions may be confirmed years later, but it's up to you if you want to wait until then (after you're married) to decide what to do.

Answer 5

Does he talk to his male friends that much? He could be seeking a woman's point of view to try to understand YOU better.

I once had a girlfriend who got pissy with me because I have a female friend that I spoke to for that type of advice...notice that I wrote HAD.

Trust is the cornerstone of a solid relationship. It doesn't sound as if you trust him. Has he done something in the past that makes you mistrust him? Many times, the person who lacks the trust is projecting their feelings onto the other. Are you up to something that you shouldn't be?

Answer 6

Ask him if its ok if you get a couple of guy "friends" to chitty chat on the phone with. If he says yes then do it! If he says no do it anyway!♣♥ Stop whining this guy sounds like the type that might always have a "friend" or 2 waiting in the lime-light.
Do you want to deal with this now or wait till the honeymoon is over?!?

Good luck♣

P.S. through this one back(what does he say about you to her?)

Answer 7

Not at all. If he's your fiancee then you have a right to know any and all of his friends; male and female. Maybe try finding out some stuff about her from him like where and how they met and how old she is and just general information like that. Maybe even check her out and see if she seems like a nice honest women, especially if he trys to hid information from you.

Answer 8

NO you are in the right! 3 hours? Does he even tak to you for 3 hours!!!!??? Girl watch ya' man, ain't no other woman wasting her breathe just to talk! What are they talking about? Who is this chick? Have you met her? Do you talk on the phone with her to? You guys are at the stage when all of your friends should be his friends and the same for him. Check your man!

Answer 9

Did you ever read that one poem by Robert Browning called "My Last Duchess"?

Basically, the guy has a similar problem. However, throughout the poem, he shows certain parts about himself, without realizing it, and it shows more that he is crazy and possibly killed his ex-wife.

Also notice that this was written in the 1800s. Things never change.

Answer 10

I think he owes you an explaination of who she is and why he is spending so much time talking to her. I would not think he is cheating necessarily - but this is odd to do this.

I would say the following " Honey - It is not my business who you talk to on the phone - but if you are spending 3 hours talking to another woman - even being her friend - it is time we are not talking and not getting closer." "What are you getting out of the conversation?"